Have I got a deal for you!
Having trouble figuring out how to pay for your college education? Can't get a scholarship or a grant from the school of your choice? Looking for quick dirty money to pay for your education?
Have a baby. Let it be adopted! Be an educated, but seriously scarred for life, birthmother! Make someone happy with your grief! Join the ranks of our happy college graduates!
Thanks to OsoloMama for this tip about this smarmy operation of cash for kids in the guise of a scholarship. The "Lifetime Adoption Foundation" says on its website:
We proudly offer educational scholarships in deep appreciation to birthmothers who have chosen adoption for their children. They have enabled others to experience the joy of becoming parents and created futures, not only for those families, but also for their children, for a lifetime.The website goes on to list about two dozen colleges and universities where the proud recipients of their largess are attending or have graduated. Can I throw up now?
Meanwhile, over in Egypt, American couples have been arrested for trying to buy children and bring them to the United States as their "biological" children with forged documents. One couple consists of a 40-year-old woman and her 70-year-old husband. I'm think very vulgar thoughts about this couple right now that does not put this prospective adoptermom in a very good light. She and her husband gave the agency a "donation" of $4,600, according to The National, a newspaper in Abu Dhabi.
And at home:
Wis. couple charged with selling baby to Mo. woman
WEST BEND, Wis. - A southeast Wisconsin couple sold their newborn girl to a Missouri woman four years ago for $6,000, according to a criminal complaint filed Wednesday.
David J. Schmidt, 38, and Angela M. Schmidt, 33, of Kewaskum were each charged with one felony count of being party to the crime of unauthorized adoption placement. The charge carries a maximum penalty of six years in prison and a $10,000 fine.Their lawyer said his clients were misled by the Missouri woman, who had assured them the sale was a legal surrogate transaction.
Babies have always been sold. It's just that in the last couple of decades the practice has come out of the closet and through the internet, news of the various and inventive ways that filthy lucre changes hands for babies has come under greater scrutiny. And our favorite adoption agency, Gladney has a round-the-clock 800 number you can call if you are pregnant and "in crisis." And somewhere in the morass of my email is a press release about all the wonderful services in store for birth mothers at Gladney...the agency that has fought open records tooth and nail. However, it is losing. Records will be open one day, and closed adoptions will be something remembered in the dim past.
I'm searching here for a larger point tonight but I'm at a loss. All that comes round my mind is that today, more than ever, babies are a hot commodity. The financial market might be in a bear mode, but it's still a bull market in babies. Though perhaps the downtown in the market will lead to a slowing down of international kidnappings and adoptions. Which wold be a good thing. --lorraine
Now, if you haven't seen Madonna latest adorable adopting outfit...here she is:
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20 comments:
Unfortunately, Madonna has Obama support. In his Notre Dame speech today, Obama states that he would like adoption to be more available.
Unfortunately, the college money for a baby has been around for awhile. I had seen it before, what about the young women, providing eggs, for the eager adopters, and the higher the GPA the higher the amount of money.
What about paying your way thorough college by having your eggs, harvested, as often as possible to provide for your education.
This is what America does best, buying and selling, and a lot of this revolves around adoption.
Supply and demand and WE all know the demand is much higher than the supply.
sickening, selling human flesh for money, but it isn't NEW, hardly.
Just more lucrative now, in the day when I was pregnant, my son was used as my punishment, losing,
my son to an infertile woman was my penance. And WE weren't even church going, oh, the adopter professed LDS as her religion, but seems she wasn't religious either, it just looked good on application, along with her 25 year older husband at the time...red flag....hell no, just another poor woman that was going to "help" an orphan, my son, who had a mother and father at the time of his birth. Father was killed in Nam within the first year of my son's birth, so he was half orphaned at a year. Male adopter was out of the house by that time,,,no longer needed.
Seedy sides of adoption at its best. Still everyone looks at an adopter as a wonderful person, unless they kill adoptee, then it is an accident and just couldn't cope or "bond"
Reprehensible, but, as Anon says, hardly breaking news. 'Lifetime' have been doing this since at least 2000. It would be interesting to know how successful this 'inducement' has been for them.
Adoption scams have been going on in Egypt for ever. Our family lived in Egypt for five years and shortly after we left I actually met a European woman woman who, I am almost 100% certain, obtained an Egyptian baby illegally. Though once I started asking too many questions she clammed up.
While we were living there I heard many rumors about well-off Egyptian women faking pregnancy and then getting a baby from a woman in the country whose family pretended that the baby was either born dead or had died shortly after birth.
But it's good it's finally being dealt with by the authority's attention.
Madonna overkill, don't you think?
Or maybe the Borg doesn't.
I heard Obama's speech, and it is a big leap to take the comment about adoption being "more available" out of context and conclude that it implies support of Madonna or those like her.
President Obama was trying to quiet the anti-abortion protesters at the Notre Dame graduation and was speaking about making abortion less needed and giving women other options, not touting adoption as the only one, and certainly not applauding Madonna or international adoption. Here is the full quote:
"So let us work together to reduce the number of women seeking abortions, let's reduce unintended pregnancies. (Applause.) Let's make adoption more available. (Applause.) Let's provide care and support for women who do carry
their children to term.(Applause.) Let's honor the conscience of those who disagree with abortion, and draft a sensible conscience clause, and make sure that all of our health care policies are grounded not only in sound
science, but also in clear ethics, as well as respect for the equality of women." Those are things we can do. (Applause.)"
Hardly an endorsement of Madonna.
"I heard Obama's speech, and it is a big leap to take the comment about adoption being "more available" out of context and conclude that it implies support of Madonna or those like her . . . Hardly an endorsement of Madonna."
I totally agree, Maryanne.
Holy scrunchie, there's been a lot of leaping of late. Almost invariably to the wrong conclusion.
You know, I don't really care how long the baby-scholarship has been around. I'm going to write. I wanna see what these people say.
You are right to write.
And I was wrong to snarf.
It will be interesting to see if you get a response.
And if so, how they will explain themselves.
This blog was an eye opener for me and I found it troubling. We recently adopted through Lifetime and they were fabulous people who cared about our birth mother (who was a college student with young daughter and no family support). Our birth mother was extremely grateful to them and yes, we formed an open adoption plan. Here's the rub, we have faithfully sent monthly photos, notes and updates always including our email and phone number. Our son is 11 months old now and we have not heard a word from his birth mother.
I truly hope she received some of the scholarship money and is working hard to make a better life for her and her daughter. I also truly hope that she contacts us so our son has the opportunity, if he chooses, to include her in his life.
Lifetime does great work and we are very grateful to them for helping us build our family. We plan to adopt again and we will use Lifetime to facilitate.
It will be interesting to see whether this actually gets posted, things seem pretty one sided here.
Hey Anon who adopted through Lifetime, before you adopt another child from them, take a close look at what happened with the one you already have and his birthmother.
Since you have not heard from her since the adoption, it may be that Lifetime did not explain open adoption and how it is for the benefit of the child, not the adults, fully to her. Or maybe they did not explain, and did not care, about the grief that comes even with an open adoption. She may be in too much pain to get back to you, despite her scholarship, once the enormity of her loss hit her. How would you feel to have traded your child for a scholarship? There might be some guilt there, despite her desperate circumstances and initial gratitude to the agency.
Do you have a home address and contact information for her, or is this all through the agency? How much contact did you have her, one on one, before and during the surrender process?
If you do not have direct access to her you have no way of knowing if she has even gotten what you sent, or if someone in the agency felt it better that she "move on with her life"and just filed it.
Please look at all of this much more closely before dealing with this agency again. Especially look into what they offer surrendering mothers in the way of ongoing counseling after the surrender, and how they explain open adoption to them. Your view is as one-sided as anything here, just that it is the opposite side.
Anon, it might be really helpful if you stopped referring to "our birthmother" on a forum for first mothers. She is not yours.
Is it so wrong to apply for scholarships because I am a birthmother? I mean I placed my baby 5 years ago with no intention of any reimbursement. I wanted him to have a mother and a father and also have the things that I as a single young mother couldn't give him. Now I am in college and struggling just to feed myself. I don't see it as selling my baby because I hadn't even heard of a scholarship until years after I placed my baby. I think that yeah, if you are placing your baby for the sole reason of the scholarship that is wrong but really I have no problem with a scholarship now. THere are scholarships for single mothers who are struggling to give their child a good life, for veterans who fought for the country, for simple things like having red hair or being left handed. Why shouldn't there be a scholarship for a mother who tried to give her child a better life and blessed others lives while doing it?
I agree. I think that you should have had to gone through it with no intentions of a scholarship. I had a baby three years ago and i am barely graduating high-school, does that mean i had a baby so i can go to school? Not like they are paying for your school, it is 500 per quarter if you are lucky. Find me a college that is that cheap...YOU WON'T! Just because maybe some of you who are writing have never gone through it....maybe if you did you would be saying a little differently. I think everybody on here should stop judging! People make mistakes, but should be awarded if they have a change around.
Most recent Anonymous poster (we seem to have several ) ~
This member of the FMF writing team--along with many FMF readers, I'm sure--certainly knows what it's like to finance her way through college. I was a college sophomore when I became pregnant. I completed the spring semester, and returned to college two years later as a part-time evening student. I worked full-time during the day and would take one or two courses a semester, and if I got a bad grade or didn't have funds or simply lacked discipline I would skip a semester or two, or even a year or two. I finally graduated college in 1995, 21 years after I began my studies, so yes, this writer "has gone through with it" and I STILL would not have traded my child for a college scholarship.
Om a side note to the Anonymous poster who thinks FMF is presenting a biased, one-sided view of adoption and relinquishment, please e-mail directly so we can discuss privately. My e-mail address is listed in my profile. As we state in the blog title, FMF is a plce where first/birth/natural/real mothers share news and opinions. And vent. It sounds as though you don't think we're living up to our claim and I'd like to discuss your concerns with you.
WOW first of all you can't tell me that you don't know someone who has been affected by adoption. Its not just about selling your child. Would you rather that women abort their unborn children? How sick are you!
I just had my son adopted and I didn't do it for money. I did it for him to have the best life possible, one that as a single twenty year old going to school full-time and working full-time I knew I couldn't provide for him. I love my son and I talk to the family once a week plus I receive photos and letters, I can also have visitations if I choose or when he gets old enough if he wants to. I can't say that I don't struggle some but knowing I did some thing so great for his life makes the minor pain I suffer worth it!
I don't agree with the selling of children for money but when you look at what a birth mother does for her child I think she deserves ALOT of credit and a $500 scholarship is nothing.
I know that not all situations are the same and not all birthmothers have the same intentions I did but if her intentions are bad then didn't she do her child a favor? Maybe a little education would be good for those girls!
I don't mean to be rude but did putting your education off for your children help you support them any better??
I just want to say that the lifetime foundation scholarship program says "We must have verification of the adoption from the adoption professional that handled the adoption" I am adopted, and I talk to my birth mother on a daily basis. I think it is good that they are doing something for birth mothers. thats hard to go through that. And to tell you, birth mothers don't get PAID to give up their child. Some of them have their medical bills paid for by the adoptive parents, and sometimes they dont...Just wanted to say that.
I did not personally do my adoption through lifetime. I have gone through 2 adoptions. I was 16 with my first child. I chose to place him because I was young, not out of school, and I wanted nothing but the best for him. I had my second child when I was 20. I chose to raise him. I am now 26. I just placed my third child for adoption this month! It was hard enough internally because I beat myself up because I didn't want the child I am raising to go without. I found out I was pregnant with her right after I signed up for my first year of college. I am disturbed to have found this blog post when searching for scholarships and grants for myself because I am struggling putting myself through school and raising the one I have. I was browsing through these links thinking it might be possible to have foundations out there to help birth mothers who have placed. And wow! I am SHOCKED at what I am reading. How ignorant and uneducated are some of you? I never intended to "sell" my baby. And I think foundations who do help birth mothers in furthering themselves for the better are godsends. And to the adoptive parents who have lacked hearing from the birth mother...don't worry. She is around. She thinks of you and her child ALL the time! She is extremely grateful to you. Although you may not have contact with her for the moment, she will come around. I did that with my first one. I stayed in contact with them for awhile. And as I grew older and had another child, my contact with them slowly began slipping. It wasn't because I didn't love them or my child, I just got caught up in the world, growing. I have recently contacted them again. And they are thankful. And because of the agency I went through, they know they are always able to get ahold of me. I am thankful for the adoptive parents and the agency! So even though you have not heard from her, do not take it personally; and do not, for one second, ever think she doesn't care or love you and her baby!
And for those who have never gone through the adoption process, I advise you to get a little more education before you begin judging anyone in the adoption process...this includes birth parents, adoptive parents, and agencies! Now...I will calm down and continue in my search for foundations who are willing to help me better myself because I have been fortunate enough to find great people to raise my child. Its not an easy process to mentally go through and bounce back from. And I forgive and pray for those who are ignorant enough to post comments. Please educate yourselves!
Honestly, as a birth mother, i don't see why scholarship opportunities for birth mothers should be put in such a negative light. Do we question scholarships for African Americans/Hispanics/Pacific Islanders/Native Americans/other people who have overcome hardship? If you are not a birth mother, you cannot possibly understand the emotional toll it takes on you. I choose adoption for my birth daughter and made a promise to be a role model for her. If somebody is willing to give me money to help pay for my education on the basis that I chose adoption for my first born, hell, I'm going to take it.
I am a birth mother to a 9 year old. We have an open adoption and I have been involved in her life since she was born. She has always known she was adopted and has answers to any questions she has about me, her birth father, etc. This was the best decision of my life. I was a deeply troubled teen who was not capable of caring for a child, and I made the best choice I could have made. I am in the process of applying for scholarships right now, and I hope to get one. I AM brave and I deserve an education. I pray for the souls of those who judge girls who choose adoption, as opposed to raising a child in an unhealthy environment (raised by another child). Which obviously is the "Christian" thing to do, according to most of the rants I have read on sites like these. Have a little empathy.
Dear Ariel:
We empathize with anyone who is in the position of having to surrender a child to another family--don't forget that's where we found ourselves many years ago--and I understand that being able to go to college afterward is so damn important. I really hope you can get the scholarship you are applying for.
What we are against is the blatant advertising for children in return for scholarship money that makes the deal seem so smarmy, and that is what we are criticizing.
You sound like one of the lucky ones--to be an in an open adoption that really stayed open, and we are glad to hear that such arrangements can and do work out. Having been involved in adoption work for several decades, and know how much money often changes hands (and not to the woman who gives up her baby) I am, I admit, quite cynical of many agency arrangements. But I never forget that a real woman, who had a real child, has been through suffering to get to a healthy place, and it sounds like you have made it there.
I hope you come back to the site and find our response. Our best wishes for a happy and productive life..
lorraine
I'm a birth mom and I want to go to college so I can support myself and future children I may have so I don't have to adopt again. I'm applying for numerous scholarships including those for women, birthmothers,Frisbee throwers, and anything else that I can relate to and write an essay about. I can also say first hand that no one gives away 5000 dollars for free, you have to earn it with the best essay and topics and also beat the strong compitition.
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