Vernita said that if she had another baby she would not be able to get "off welfare," and anyone poor can understand that reasoning. Oprah did say that her mother had a stroke, and so that was supposed to have affected her speech, but her speech came across quite clearly. And she did say her baby was beautiful, and she felt bad about leaving her in the hospital.
But us? We assume the child is still living and so for us there is no way to seek redemption. I never had the kind of blind faith that this was God's plan and I was some kind of pawn in it to have the kind of glassy-eyed acceptance of our state that I've seen in a few religious-inspired videos that I've seen. To me they look like first birth mothers on their way to a nervous breakdown somewhere down the road.
On the other hand...Raven left a comment that when she was 17 and awaiting for the birth of her child, no one ever asked her how she felt about what the forthcoming relinquishment of her aby. They didn't ask because they knew how horrible what was happening was happening. Patrick, my daughter's father, was with me throughout the pregnancy, and he didn't ask either; there was nothing I could say; he instinctively understood what a horrendous, awful act it is to give up a child for adoption. "If you have to ask" you'll never understand.
It's sad that no one consoled Raven, that she was alone in every possible sense of the word, during her pregnancy and relinquishment--some tea and sympathy surely would have helped her feel less like a pariah--but that kind of shunning reflects the ethos of the era. One can only hope that it is a thing of the past. We can be glad that today fewer families and teens and women rely on the "adoption option."--lorraine
*Oprah's mother didn't die when her secret daughter was revealed
**Oprah reveals she has half-sister; her mother was afraid to admit the secret
Correction re welfare made.