Whew! that blew me away. My only experience with a couple who gave up a child and later married were three people I lobbied with several years ago in Albany: first /birth mother and father, and daughter who found them. The lobbied together, and I thought: how cool, how wonderful, it must be like this when a child finds her parents have married--she gets a whole family. I remember, however, that the couple said that they never talked about the child they relinquished, not when anything about adoption was on television or in the news. They said they just changed the channel. Ohhh....never talked about the missing child? But they were there that day lobbying so I put it out of my mind.
Fast forward to the present: I was talking to a confidential intermediary and searcher the other day, and she made the offhand comment that she had to call a couple who had married and she was dreading it...because about 90 percent of the married birth parents reject contact.
She said she had talked to other CIs about this, and they all had the same reaction: most of the birth parents who marry reject contact. I am still stunned. I guess it must be that they have had other children and never told them and cannot bring themselves to admit to them that there is a missing child: their firstborn.
But how selfish, how cruel, how utterly awful. Can they not find it in their hearts to let that other person know their origins, meet them, and bring them as much as possible back into the original family? What about the full siblings that person has? Surely the child who was adopted--you all know I am referring to adults here, but we are all the children of our parents all our lives--has a right to know his or her birth siblings. I believe this from every fiber in my being. If the first natural parents will not agree to contact, and you know you have siblings, you have the right to meet them and look another person in the face who looks like you.--lorraine
The recent fire at the blog has left a huge distaste in my mind about blogging. Everyone gets so nasty, and nasty so quickly. Is dealing with this worth it? I wonder.
Lady Antebellum? Nothing to do with adoption. But I love 'em. Bought this album myself the other day.