|Lorraine, recently in DC|
Then I moved onto trying to download the Dan Rather Report: Adopted or Abducted from iTunes for $1.99 and after giving Apple my name, my birthdate, answering security questions such as what was your first car (answer for anybody who wants to know my deep secrets, Karmann Ghia); your favorite car (MG); and where I had my least favorite job (ah! at that hash house where the owner drove me home one night and wanted me to put out, and when I didn't, fired me the next day, but there wasn't room for all that), my billing address, telephone number, a user name and a password with at least 8 characters, one Capital letter and at least two numbers! and no two of the same characters in a row, and my credit card number...I had to go back and re-register and ah ha! I kept getting error messages. Kinda like what I was hearing from my daughter's father when I tried to talk about keeping our baby...but then he would have had to get off his duff and leave his wife like he said he was going to. By the time he did, it was too late. Way too late.
I didn't want a permanent lifetime account at iTunes, I just wanted one damn show! After a couple of tries, and resetting my password, and being told that someone already has the same one I tried to re-register...(that would be me) I gave up. I have not seen Adopted or Abducted and most likely won't. Anyway, the reviews I've read were that the show was somewhat disappointing. If anybody does have a DVD of the show, I will gladly accept it.
WHO NEEDS ALL THE FACTS WHEN I HAVE LIVED THEM
However, not seeing the show itself is not going to keep me from commenting on the official responses to Adopted or Abducted from agencies that apparently come in for some criticism--Catholic Charities, the Salvation Army, the National Association of Social Workers and the National Crittenton Foundation. No siree!
Catholic Charities' response is blah, saying that some of the stories of mothers from the Fifties and Sixties are heart-breaking, but adoption has changed and so have they.
Here's what Rev. Larry Snyder, President of Catholic Charities USA felt necessary to add:
“We must not lose track of the tens of thousands of adoptive parents who will be forever grateful to birth parents for the sacrifices they make to ensure that their children’s lives will be filled with the love and opportunity they may otherwise not have received.”Excuse me, that sounds like f*&k the first mothers and the children they gave up, our main concern will continue to be "tens of thousands of adoptive parents who will be forever grateful"...that we continue to oppose adoptee rights....but let us thank those poor women...who clearly were incapable of loving their children and giving them the "opportunities" that money can buy. As one of our commentors, maybe, noted: isn't that special. Really, Father Larry, you should have quit before you added that second graf and displayed your true feelings. *
The Social Worker's statement is defensive, an itemized list (10) of all the great stuff they have done, including saving thousands of children from Nazi death camps, which seems a tad off message here, and also that a social worker was the object of the movie Oranges and Sunshine, about a woman who helped reunite families, and if that isn't swell enough, their magazine, Adoptions Today and Fostering Families magazine, just won awards from...NASW. What is the NASW? The National Association of Social Workers. Seriously, you are bragging about the awards to magazines that you yourself gave to the magazines, which you yourself publish? Incidentally, the magazine seems to be called Adoption Today, without the s, or is there another magazine we can't find on line? Really, you folks need a new press officer.
The Salvation Army is terse in its response, only talking about the homes they ran for unmarried women: These homes were operational during a time when significant social pressures were placed upon pregnant, unmarried girls, and a majority of the young girls came to the homes after being guided by their own families. Okay, not your fault, you say, but "guided"? Guided? More like friggen' forced them into the shoots like cattle on the way to the slaughter. Guided like with a gun to your head, or you'll be on the street. But okay. Your parents didn't want you at home with a bulging belly and baby on the way. The Salvation Army ran homes for poor wretches like you. That's what it was like then.
Only The Crittenton Foundation wrote a statement that even I could love: after noting they were "saddened by and regret the experience of mothers who were forced or coerced into placing their children in adoptive homes and the impact on their children many of whom continue to search for their birth parents," adding that these practices were never endorsed by the national organization...even if the troops (aka social workers) were running amuck--but hey! I wasn't there. But then we get to the best part: "...not a week goes by that we don’t hear from someone searching for a family member and we are acutely aware of the pain and damage done by the past practices....Today at the national level we do everything possible to provide information and support to family members searching for one another."
Real sympathy and reality! Thank you Jeannette Pai-Espinosa, president, who signed the response. I had no truck with a maternity home for wayward girls like myself back in the Sixties, so I can't comment about what went on there, but that statement indicates that at least the Crittenton folks of today understand what's what, and for that I salute them.--lorraine
* NOTE: In 1992, the executive directors of Maternity And Adoption Services of Catholic Charities in all five dioceses of New Jersey recommended to the NJ Catholic Conference of Bishops that adult adoptees be allowed access to their OBCs with no strings attached. The Bishops got their knickers in a twist over this insurrection (how many children are they hiding?) rejected the recommendation then, and this past June, urged Governor Chris Christie to reject the access bill (strings were attached) that had passed in both the Senate and Assembly. (Thanks to Barbara Thavis and Maryanne, who noted this in their comments.)
the exec directors of
Source : Adopted or Abducted
In the Sixties: Was I 'forced' to give up my baby?
Shining the light on 'forced' adoption at home and elsewhere