' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: October 2014

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Who serves 'Adoptees' Best Interests'?

Lorraine 
You couldn't pick them out of a crowd, but adopted people are different. Two traits set them apart: a vague sense of disconnection of dislocation, and difficulty forming a strong sense of self. The lack of a specific heritage, which tells them how and where they fit into the cycle of life, is thought to be the root of the problem. To be missing a past might not seem like much, but that's because the rest of us have always known where we came from. "My Mom has really gotten interested in genealogy in the last few years," one 16-year-old wrote me, "and it's fine for her, but it doesn't do anything for me."

Friday, October 24, 2014

Adoption by Gentle Care: FMF's pick for the 2014 Demon in Adoption award

Jane
This year we are having no trouble selecting Adoption by Gentle care (AGC) an Ohio adoption agency, as our choice for the Demon in Adoption award, given annually by Pound Puppy Legacy. The award is given to an adoption agency, adoption practitioner, advocate, or politician instrumental in promoting adoption at the expense of natural families. PPL started this award eight years ago to "raise more awareness of the dark side of adoption and the negligent and corrupt practices we often encounter."

As in past years, PPL's followers have nominated exceptionally deserving candidates, Adoption by Gentle Care (AGC), however, shines above the others. AGC epitomizes the greed and utter disregard for the best interests of children ingrained in large segments of the adoption industry.

Monday, October 20, 2014

You can't deny DNA--it shapes who we are today

Lorraine
"It's easier to embrace a thief than a phantom." That's sentence that stopped me cold today as I read yesterday's New York Times review of a new book, The Invisible History of the Human Race: How DNA and History Shape our Identities and Our Futures.

Biology and culture, nature versus nurture. We know both are important, we really do, but with the adoption-is-the-cure-for-so-damn-much culture that we are in today, that sentence: It's easier to embrace a thief than a phantom stopped me cold. Americans like to pretend that DNA and ancestry do not matter; we can make ourselves up new here in America. But. Biology matters. DNA is the raw material out of which we came.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Cheerios video promotes gay equality but smacks of racism

Jane
There's a dark side to the Cheerios ad featuring a white gay Canadian couple with a darling little black girl, likely an American child, beyond the loss inherent in adoption. The ad smacks of colonialism, promoting the superiority of white homes as it promotes gay adoption.

The nearly three-minute video is of course intended to make us feel positive about Cheerios, manufactured by General Mills. While others have praised the ad for its positive image of gay men, how would the world feel about two gay black men raising a white baby? We seriously doubt it would have the same wide acceptance and elicit huzzahs from liberals. 

I'm not feeling my Cheerios in watching this ad, Actually I'm downright uncomfortable how the ad portrays adoption as sugar and spice and everything nice just like Cheerios.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Cheerios Commercial: Gay dads adopt and sell cereal

Lorraine
Cringe making: A new feel-good Cherrios on-line commercial for the Canadian audience as two white gay dads talk about how they met, fell in love and decided to be a family by adopting a little black girl during a three-minute video. No doubt that Raphaelle she is being treated well, and that these two dads love her. 

We are supposed to feel all gooey-gooey about the fact that these two handsome, appealing men with charming French accents have been allowed to adopt. Problem Number One. We are all for gay acceptance, gay rights, gay marriage, but indisputable is the reality that gay and lesbian adoption will increase the number of people looking to adoption to build families. The unwitting result is more pressure on the adoption industry to find more babies from a dwindling market so that gay and lesbian couples can adopt somebody else's child

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Jennifer Aniston to adopt! At last! It's a Girl!

JenniferAnistonHWoFFeb2012.jpg
Jennifer Aniston--Adoptive Mom to Be? 
Update on 10/9:  Jennifer Aniston is not pregnant and she is not considering adoption, at least not right now. That is the message that was delivered this week by her publicist Stephen Huvane. Recent rumored started by Life & Style have suggested that Aniston and fiancĂ© Justin Theroux are thinking about adopting. In a statement to Page Six, Huvane said in no uncertain terms that Aniston is not planning to adopt or have a child in the near future.
                                      * * * 

"Jen's Adoption Surpise" and "A BABY AT LAST" read the headlines at the supermarket checkout, and I thought, Who is surprised? Not I. Ever since Jen did not get hitched and/or get pregnant during her fecund years, I have been waiting for this piece of news--that she is going to adopt! Well, folks it apparently has happened, if Life & Style magazine is to be believed. "Jen & Justin's Baby Secret: They're Adopting" read the headline inside.

Oh! $@#!

Monday, October 6, 2014

Finding Your Roots: Bastards show up in all family trees

Henry Louis Gates
How many of us have ancestors who were born outside of marriage? Plenty it would seem. Last week's episode of Henry Louis Gates, Jr's Finding Your Roots on PBS, found that the three athletic greats the program featured all had ancestors born under less than auspicious circumstances. Tennis legend and feminist Billie Jean King, Yankee all star Derrick Jeter, and women's basketball pioneer Rebecca Lobo each had an ancestor born--outside of marriage. Gates is a warm and engaging host, and the show never fails to emphasize the connection of natural families. Guests are likely to find surprises in the family background.