' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Comments from the crypt to First Mother Forum

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Comments from the crypt to First Mother Forum

Lorraine
Just a quick run through of some of the comments we get that we do not post:

Advertisements--usually from someone in a foreign country--advertising a baby for adoption: Hello i want to give my newborn baby girl up for adoption, i just do not want her to suffer so i need a very loving and suitable home for her. any couple or single mother looking to adopt a newborn 3 months old message me now...that one seemed like a scam, but we do get others that appear to be sincere. 

Followed by an email address. I clicked on the link of the sender and it took me to a foreign country....I assume it was a baby-selling scam. We get comments like this about every other month.


Strange comments about someone's love life and how some medicine man or woman has helped them have a lost love return. Or this: 

WELCOME TO THE TEMPLE OF BABA KAKUT AWHERE ALL PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED IN 3 DAYS WITH THE HELP MY MY GODS. Below are my services: MONEY SPELL LUCK SPELL LOTTERY SPELL LOVER SPELL TO GET EX BACK CURE SPELL JOB SPELL GET PREGNANT SPELL SPELL TO GET YOUR CHILD BACK TO YOU FROM CPS....


REALLY ANGRY comments from adoptive parents who cannot believe what they are reading! 

Also from adoptees who are truly angry that first natural birth mothers want to have a connection with them at all: This blog has an air of sour grapes of "first mums". But here's the reality of it, from an adoptee: You're not first mums, you're nothing mums. You're strangers. That kid that you popped out? Stranger. You to them? Stranger. By negligence &/or abuse, or free will, you gave up that kid and all rights to it. Now you only have one course of action: Make your peace with your regrets like everyone else. Adoptees don't need your baggage. They grew up with their own lives and their own parents (adopted, but still actual parents). Even the few who are curious about you are just confused, and losing sight of what matters, and ultimately things overwhelmingly end in disappointment and more bad feelings for both. Your feelings are...your own to deal with. Imagine going up to any stranger in the street with an unrealistic expectation for them to salve your guilt & regret? It's creepy and wrong. If you're a surrogate 'first' mum here then I assume you're struggling to deal.... 

Not sure what the rest of it says because I'm copying here from spam. 


Our living room at one point....that dresser in the
corner is for sale on Facebook Market Place...
Yes, Jane and I have been remiss in writing, but our lives right now are complicated and very busy. I'm still working on our house--we had to have work done after we moved it, work we did not count on. Once we unpacked a lot of stuff we had to repack, and the other issue is, having lived in one place for 34 years, a place with LOTS of storage, and the fact that we are both collectors (husband of books, me of funky or cool stuff from lamps to tsotschkes to linens to adoption books), we are overwhelmed with stuff. A yard sale before we moved did not do the job and as we are unpacking, we are putting stuff aside for the next yard sale. 

...which I'd better get to right away.--lorraine

5 comments :

  1. I totally sympathize on trying to downsize and get settled. We also moved over the summer, and although all the major stuff is unpacked, I have boxes all through my house that need to be sorted and find a new home. I got rid of a ton before we moved, but I have more to get rid of now.

    It feels good for me to purge, but it's exhausting because with kids and a job and regular house stuff like cooking and cleaning, I struggle with finding the time and energy. So sorry to hear you had unexpected work you had to do! That must have been very frustrating.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unexpected work: screwed up wiring in the house, so some outlets, as in the bath, had not power unless a whole bank of lights were on in the basement! Other outlets also screwed up...that's only part of it...and kitchen lacked adequate cabinets (which I knew) and we threw in the towel and got all new and more cabinets, but we are in the middle of that now without water in the kitchen....and we are painting soon....

    Purging is great, but mostly great after it's done! The during can be tiring because every object demands a decision. And the stuff I am finding--for instance, a diary I did not remember I kept for a couple of years in the 80s, after reuniting with my daughter. Happy to know that my adoption papers (and final draft of Birthmark, etc) will go to a university collection, so I am gathering them up together. This house has much less easily accessible storage, which in the end, is a good thing. I hope. Time to purge!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why did you move then? I thought you liked your house in Sag Harbor. You'll get there though, don't worry and then relaxing will be even nicer! I think most comments from adoptees who are furious other adoptees want to find their real parents are being written by adopters and those who make money off of adoption. The internet is just as keen at faking an identity as closed records are.

      Delete
  3. Well my adoptive father says most people who adopt are self centered.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So I was *confused* because I wanted to know my family? Well then.

    ReplyDelete

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