tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post1028692614380103798..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: At AAC: Transracial adoption from those who live itLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-72528809026859745022014-04-17T15:49:00.566-04:002014-04-17T15:49:00.566-04:00Jane, as always, Lorraine and you flood us with en...Jane, as always, Lorraine and you flood us with engaging blog posts! And then it is frustrating when I get so busy I cannot engage.<br /><br />Anyhow, I really enjoyed reading about your conference experience in SF. Our son is a transracial African-American adoptee. His African American heritage is one that neither my husband nor I are able to offer. We are learning about it, but that of course is not the same as living it. <br /><br />One thing that he does have and cherishes are his "godparents" (that is in quotes because I am not using the term in a religious sense, they are more like loving "life guides" for him), who are our very good African-American friends. They have been such an awesome presence in Lenny's life and have given him much pride in his African culture and origins. Through them, we have acquired a secondary African-American family and friends that have become important to him.<br /><br />One thing we have noticed, as he is getting close to being 6 years old, is he has become much more conscious of his skin color and ethnic origins. Even though I, his adoptive mom, am brown, he sees it (the "Indian" brown) as a different kind of brown from the "African" brown. And on the day you posted this blog, Lenny was at a baseball practice where he saw an African-American coach and asked my husband if he could get him to be Lenny's coach because "he looks like me." <br /><br />There is no doubt he is looking to identify with others who are African-American. In the past year, he has transitioned from being sad that he does not look like my husband (straight hair, hazel eyes, ash-blond hair) to reveling in his curly hair, brown eyes and brown skin. Yay for that, and yay for the community that helps him feel that comfort about himself. Jay Iyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592280612055255470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-42751448742408942712014-04-14T12:44:34.166-04:002014-04-14T12:44:34.166-04:00Lorraine, I tried replying from my phone this week...Lorraine, I tried replying from my phone this weekend, but was having troubles. And I never found time to be at the computer.<br /><br />I had already promised my daughters the zoo this weekend (they had an exhibit called "The Scoop on Poop" that my older daughter was terribly excited about... no really, she was! :), so I couldn't have attended with short notice, but thank you for letting me know. I did look up their website and bookmarked it to keep an eye on in the future.<br /><br />I put several of these books listed on my wish list. I will pick them up soon to read, as I am the mother of a transracial adoptee, and they sound very helpful. Thank you for sharing!Tiffanynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-22284276907174456262014-04-12T14:09:35.694-04:002014-04-12T14:09:35.694-04:00Like I said, I didn't watch the show. Actually...Like I said, I didn't watch the show. Actually, I couldn't even bring myself to tape it. From the short piece I read about it, it seemed that the sympathies were towards the PAPs for having been duped. I mean, of course we should all feel bad for them when here they were finally convinced that 'THEIR' baby was coming home to them. Oh, puhleeze! Yeah, Lorraine, I'm sure your suggestion would go over big with the show's producers {insert sarcasm}.<br /><br />And Jane, I am so pleased to read about transracial adoption from those who have actually lived it. They are the people who should be speaking front and center about this issue, not those who have no first hand knowledge but are just being politically correct.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-35883430902273516422014-04-12T11:49:07.113-04:002014-04-12T11:49:07.113-04:00Robin:
If anyone doesn't believe the market f...Robin: <br />If anyone doesn't believe the market for babies is what is driving the billion-dollar adoption industry today, the story you describe on 20/20 proves it. You can only pull a scam like that because there are so many people willing to pay for a baby--and get him or her through any means possible. <br /><br />Mirah Ribin's book, The Stork Market, ought to be read by prospective adopters. <br /><br />Now I'd like to see 20/20 do a piece on the people who convince a vulnerable woman that they will keep the adoption totally open for all time, and then renig on that promise. Talk about heartbreak.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-42618109766797699602014-04-12T09:26:01.738-04:002014-04-12T09:26:01.738-04:00I find it so very helpful to hear how your relatio...I find it so very helpful to hear how your relationship to adoption has evolved over time. Thank you both for sharing your invaluable thoughts and experiences.Cherrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-69215566236914840092014-04-12T09:14:59.252-04:002014-04-12T09:14:59.252-04:00Jane,
I'm glad you were able to enjoy the con...Jane,<br />I'm glad you were able to enjoy the conference and your visit in San Francisco without being negatively triggered by your experience with Rebecca's birth and relinquishment. San Francisco is one of the most beautiful, exciting, and friendliest cities in the country.<br /><br />This is off topic, but did anyone watch 20/20 last night? I missed it, but I understand the expose was about a couple who didn't want to go through the proper channels to adopt a child (according to them because it takes too long), so they decided to post an ad on Craigslist. A young woman contacted them and told them she was pregnant and planned to give up her child. And it turns out the whole thing was a hoax. She wasn't really pregnant. Can you believe? Sheesh, these people were entitled to post an ad online and should have been able to get a baby. <br /><br />I'm wondering if the show investigated the ethics of trolling for a baby in this way in the first place? I don't understand how this isn't considered peddling in human flesh. I can tell you that if my first parents had found an adoptive family for me in such an unsafe manner, I would never have spoken to them. Angela's decision not to meet her first mother(see earlier post) would have seemed like child's play.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-1744182184232750502014-04-11T18:12:40.012-04:002014-04-11T18:12:40.012-04:00Tiffany, this is more than a one-day conference. I...Tiffany, this is more than a one-day conference. It goes on through Saturday, and probably Sunday morning. Check the website of the American Adoption Congress. <br />Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-53094908335155102282014-04-11T14:43:14.048-04:002014-04-11T14:43:14.048-04:00Oh, I wish I had known about this! I would have a...Oh, I wish I had known about this! I would have attended- I live in the Bay Area.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your thoughts from the conference. In spite of some sober associations, I hope you are otherwise enjoying your time in my favorite city in the whole world. I could share endless tourist recommendations, but I will refrain (with some difficulty!).Tiffanynoreply@blogger.com