tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post2934682744140480198..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Abandonment issues in adoption on America's Next Top ModelLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-48709205502105295162011-05-26T16:56:29.121-04:002011-05-26T16:56:29.121-04:00Anon 9:51 wrote:
"You are going to keep compl...Anon 9:51 wrote:<br />"You are going to keep complaining and pining and ruin some very good things about your life because you've been given this perceived handicap - which in most cases is actually a leg up from the life you would have led if you weren't adopted." <br /><br />And what if it wasn't a leg up but actually a leg down? The maternal side of my natural family are some of the loveliest people one could ever hope to meet. They were certainly far better than my a-family.<br /><br />I really don't understand, Anon, why you even want to come to this blog. Most of us have had it up to here with the happy, dappy adoptee stuff. And besides, no one ever said they have no happiness in their life and that adoption has ruined ever minute.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-75416866494784326432011-05-25T21:51:13.810-04:002011-05-25T21:51:13.810-04:00I do watch the show, I love it (guilty pleasure, I...I do watch the show, I love it (guilty pleasure, I've seen every single episode ever made)<br /><br />I still think she's using it as an excuse. Maybe you all missed the part where I said I did it for a long time too. <br /><br />I have to chuckle at the "sanitized" version of adoption. I mean, do you really think that one moment where you were placed in adoptive care should have the power to affect the rest of your life? You are going to keep complaining and pining and ruin some very good things about your life because you've been given this perceived handicap - which in most cases is actually a leg up from the life you would have led if you weren't adopted. People blaming all their problems on being adopted is WAY more common than not. In fact, most people are surprised that I see it as positive. <br /><br />I will give you all experiences aren't the same, and maybe I'm just lucky enough to have the strength to see the good in my situation rather than the bad - but do you all really think its akin to abuse? Seriously? <br /><br />If you want to think I live a fairytale, then go ahead. l'm clearly happier doing so! <br /><br />I was never that interested in meeting my Bio Mom, but I ended up finding her, and now I have two fantastic families! But you know, thinking positive never did anyone any good.....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-18595407619804117352011-05-25T14:14:29.504-04:002011-05-25T14:14:29.504-04:00I just wanted to elaborate more on my last comment...I just wanted to elaborate more on my last comment-knowing who one comes from is the best prize Molly could win, because without the sense of one's basic idenity, which we all get from our bloodline, one cannot feel strong and secure in this world. And in Molly's case, at peace. I am reminded of the character's Jamie's line in the movie Love Notes. <br />"I'd trade it all in a second (fame, money) to know who my birthmother is". If Molly hasn't ever seen that film, she should. And to Anon....<br />oh SHUT UP.....The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-41682394198531034552011-05-20T16:30:25.402-04:002011-05-20T16:30:25.402-04:00@Anon 1:45 am,
You need to speak only for yoursel...@Anon 1:45 am,<br /><br />You need to speak only for yourself. You are certainly one of the lucky ones that being adopted didn't cause you any problems. However, I do not appreciate myself and other adoptees who have had a lot of pain because of adoption being so easily dismissed. I happen to admire and respect Molly for saying what she did on "America's Next Top Model". I think it took a lot of courage to not spew the usual rainbows and fairytales version of adoption especially on a family oriented show. <br /><br />Certainly your version of adoption is what the public wants to hear and is used to hearing. I appreciate that Molly spoke her truth and not some sanitized version that would probably would have gone over better with a television audience.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-53953292388321411572011-05-20T09:54:33.780-04:002011-05-20T09:54:33.780-04:00Dear Anonymous:
We all deal with our issues in a ...Dear Anonymous:<br /><br />We all deal with our issues in a different way. It may not "bother" some as much as others to not know where they came from, but so eagerly criticizing Molly seems uncalled for. <br /><br />Furthermore, it doesn't sound to me as if you actually watch the program, or saw what happened. Molly talks about drug use, being in rehab, and finally coming to the realization that her adoptive parents were not going to abandon her. And it never came across as an appeal to sympathy. <br /><br />Why be so eager to criticize someone who says she is hurting and may have figured out a reason why?Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-31862959970854378872011-05-20T01:45:10.469-04:002011-05-20T01:45:10.469-04:00I can't believe people on an adoption board ar...I can't believe people on an adoption board are willing to believe this girl!!<br /><br />I am adopted myself, and I can say 100%, if you want to make that an issue in your life, and blame things on it, its there and available, but it has nothing to do with who you grow up to be (aside from the nature side of things, but that is neither here nor there as far as adoption causing abandonment issues)! Adoption doesn't hold a candle to any real form of abuse or neglect and it is just another excuse for someone to not figure out what their real issues are. <br /><br />I know - I did it for years, purposely gaining sympathy from others because i was adopted and never knew my relatives. I knew i was playing a role i could get sympathy for. Sympathy that was much needed for many other reasons in my life. Reasons that were FAR too hurtful to mention casually on TV, or in fact, out loud, ever. Molly is playing the card as many many insecure young women do, and I hope she figures out what her real problem is soon- cause it is NOT being adopted.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-77875464889619947282011-05-18T16:42:56.492-04:002011-05-18T16:42:56.492-04:00I think her the fool to not mention the child abus...I think her the fool to not mention the child abusing Adoption System when she had the chance. I think it is sad however she many think her Mother did not want her, when her Mother could of been forced to give her away. What this young woman needs is the truth about what happened when she was a baby, just like ALL of us need the Adoption records open. And a note to maybe. People drawn to the arts, including modeling will be destined to enter those fields. It's in the DNA. I do hope however her exposure will reunite her with her Natarul Parents. That could be the best prize she could win. Hope you have been well Lorraine. I have been busy, busy, busy :)The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-37532492308720043702011-05-18T11:14:22.832-04:002011-05-18T11:14:22.832-04:00Thanks Lorraine,
We've both agreed that in ou...Thanks Lorraine,<br /><br />We've both agreed that in our case Nature has a definite edge over Nuturetryingtohealnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-31164690203360398812011-05-17T15:18:26.087-04:002011-05-17T15:18:26.087-04:00Great response, Trytoheal.
Your daughter and you...Great response, Trytoheal. <br /><br />Your daughter and you think fast on your feet. It must run in the family.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-44377669572942912002011-05-17T13:50:07.058-04:002011-05-17T13:50:07.058-04:00In a recent visit after bing reunited with my daug...In a recent visit after bing reunited with my daughter we spent a day with cousins, aunts and spouses. One of my daughters cousins wives made the statement to us about how nice our relationship must be without the usual Maother/Daughter issues. My daughter looked at her and said, "Do you mean like abandonment?" I added that we both were abandonded by the family and she just looked at us with no clue.tryingtohealnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70897267639989235592011-05-17T10:55:21.834-04:002011-05-17T10:55:21.834-04:00I think she'd like to be a model because she&#...I think she'd like to be a model because she's got the goods and really knows how to play to the camera--she's got modeling genes!Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-85901100372374782392011-05-17T10:32:52.533-04:002011-05-17T10:32:52.533-04:00Interesting that she chose a profession where reje...Interesting that she chose a profession where rejection is common and can be brutal. Perhaps she is seeking validation by participating in this show and modeling in general? Just my armchair psycho-analysis for the day.maybehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07067284504038707207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-89131387057150091552011-05-16T21:49:15.307-04:002011-05-16T21:49:15.307-04:00FauxClaud:
So glad I'm not the only fan over ...FauxClaud:<br /><br />So glad I'm not the only fan over 25!Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-24554009122586962432011-05-16T20:33:49.703-04:002011-05-16T20:33:49.703-04:00She's angry and she's hurt that her parent...She's angry and she's hurt that her parents gave her away. It has affected her life in a myriad of negative ways. Even at the age of 22 it is still the most salient feature of her personality and emotional life. No matter how many adoptees get a public forum and say something similar, adoption promoters will go on their merry way touting adoption as a win-win-win for everyone. Blech!Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-74099529598841466422011-05-16T18:17:46.915-04:002011-05-16T18:17:46.915-04:00Molly has been my favorite since the beginning.. a...Molly has been my favorite since the beginning.. and I I DID pick up on her being an adoptee quite a few weks ago, I forgot! Then it made sense that I kept rooting for her anyway! How can one NOT favor the adoptee!<br /><br />Got to love our fabulous bastards~FauxClaudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00794052679215498158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-49899419730864723642011-05-16T17:57:42.878-04:002011-05-16T17:57:42.878-04:00I was born and adopted in SC. There's a law th...I was born and adopted in SC. There's a law there (at least there was in 1976) that SC born babies are supposed to be adopted by SC couples. (Of course, we all know there are ways around that.)<br /><br />And yes, you're right. SC does not allow access to birth records - even if you're dying of a genetic disorder. But there are other corrupt things as well that SC allows to go on when it comes to adoption.<br /><br />I feel for Molly because someday, not only will she feel unwanted but she'll realize just how insignificant her life really was to the state of SC - if that's where she was born and adopted.<br /><br />Every few years, I send a nasty letter to the dept of vital statistics with an application for my OBC. Every year, they return my application and the fee. That's just to remind them that it's my certificate and I already know what's on it despite its 'sealed' status.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com