tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post3265965997459835882..comments2024-03-14T17:59:30.786-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Adoption in Utah: No place for birth fathersLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-80070334142561284952014-01-02T00:30:54.372-05:002014-01-02T00:30:54.372-05:00I was pleased to notice that a birth father in Uta...I was pleased to notice that a birth father in Utah has filed a $130 million lawsuit against the agency, adoptive parents and birthmother for "racketeering" and collusion to deprive him of his child. This is the link: https://www.ksl.com/?sid=28191411&nid=148 This is what I think it will take - a big money settlement - to change things. <br /><br /> What really baffles me about these birthfather cases, is how the mother could do it. For me it was such a painful, awful thing done under duress and filled with regret. Even if the mother hates the birthfather, it is still her child. I don't understand it.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08984379092054056642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-26213828438089166702014-01-02T00:26:13.962-05:002014-01-02T00:26:13.962-05:00I was pleased to notice that a birth father in Uta...I was pleased to notice that a birth father in Utah has filed a $130 million lawsuit against the agency, adoptive parents and birthmother for <br />"racleteering" and collusion to deprive him of his child. This is the link: https://www.ksl.com/?sid=28191411&nid=148 This is what I think it will take - a big money settlement - to change things there. What really baffles me about these birthfather cases, however, is how the mother could do it. For me it was such a painful, awful thing done under duress and filled with regret. Even if the mother hates the birthfather, it is still her child. I don't understand it.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08984379092054056642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-518235933701851182012-12-04T10:58:33.879-05:002012-12-04T10:58:33.879-05:00Thank you Lisa for the heartening news about this ...Thank you Lisa for the heartening news about this decision in Utah. Maybe the negative press stories in the Salt Lake Tribune are finally having an impact. <br /><br />I'll look into that case.<br /><br />and thanks for the affirmation of what we have found about AAct of Love. You are undoubtedly right about their choice of name to be first in a search engine or phone book. Why don't they advertise--<i>Most money for your white babies?</i>Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-6150874642981022572012-12-04T03:26:36.870-05:002012-12-04T03:26:36.870-05:00I was zapping though the TV channels looking for s...I was zapping though the TV channels looking for something to watch and stopped momentarily on 16 and pregnant. Two young pregnant girls were sitting in the back of a car talking about their adoption plans .... the words they spouted .... I am giving a gift to someone that cannot have a baby. This BS sentiment is as alive and well now as it was in the 1970's when I relinquished. The mothers sitting in the front of the car were absolutely agreeing with their teenage daughters. It totally turned my stomach and I flipped to another channel only minutes into the show. <br /><br />Other young girls in the same situation will no doubt be influenced by the decisions made by these young actresses and fall into the same trap, a lifetime of grief for the children that they lost. <br /><br />I say get this adoption Koolaid of the box immediately and arm these young girls with the correct information so that they can make an informed decision about their unplanned pregnancies. <br />SusanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-50124164143758102972012-12-03T23:12:20.855-05:002012-12-03T23:12:20.855-05:00It's not all bad news coming out of Utah as fa...It's not all bad news coming out of Utah as far as father's rights.<br /><br />http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile2/55373764-218/achane-adoption-bland-child.html.csp<br /><br />A judge in the 4th district over-turned an illegal adoption and is giving the adoptive family 60 days to return the child to her biological father. The 4th District is notoriously conservative (think BYU and Jason Chaffetz). Adoption Center of Choice broke Utah's own laws of requiring the consent and relinquishment of the legal father (since he and the birth mother were legally married at the time) and it broke the law in that the father is military and you need the consent and relinquishment of a father if he is military.<br /><br />As far as this case goes, A Act of Love is not grammatically challenged...they named their agency that so they will be the first agency listed in every phone book in the country. And they're notorious for their unethical practices. They treat white birth mothers like gold and African American birth mothers like crap since the won't be getting as much money for their babies. It's sickening.Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-82417465357261524042012-12-03T16:22:06.218-05:002012-12-03T16:22:06.218-05:00People like Tyler and Catelynn and all the rest--a...People like Tyler and Catelynn and all the rest--and the culture, the ethos of <i>make someone happy, give her your baby,</i> TV shows like "I'm Having Their Baby"--all glamorize and sanitize giving up a child for "a better life" and "I just can't handle a child right now" and the reality of "if I don't give the baby up and the father keeps her, I'll have to be responsible anyway...."Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-22206447488079965282012-12-03T15:24:00.511-05:002012-12-03T15:24:00.511-05:00I think what is surprising me about these Utah ado...I think what is surprising me about these Utah adoptions is that there are seemingly so many young women who just can't wait to give up their babies, while the fathers want to raise them. Usually, it's the other way around, no? That's why I'm wondering if something else is going on and if these girls are really making a free choice. The information that I know about adoption is that overwhelmingly, now and in the past, natural mothers want to keep their babies.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-29146569199039999332012-12-03T00:02:49.747-05:002012-12-03T00:02:49.747-05:00These women are going to Utah to give up their bab...These women are going to Utah to give up their babies because<br /><br />a) They hate the birth father and want to ensure he can't get custody<br /><br />or perhaps<br /><br />b) Someone made it an attractive option for them (maybe cash was involved).<br /><br />FYI The term "statutory scheme" has a very specific legal meaning. Something like adoption which has no basis in English common law exists as a "statutory scheme".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-18849176717283978202012-12-02T20:27:15.033-05:002012-12-02T20:27:15.033-05:00Robin: You know what I think part of the rush to ...Robin: You know what I think part of the rush to go to Utah is? The culture has made it so very acceptable to give a "gift of love" via adoption, that women can be brain washed into thinking "making an adoption plan" for themselves is a "act of love." And where best to do that, simply, easily? Utah. If the fathers raise the babies, the women will owe child support. And have to be involved in the child's life one way or another.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-27511976805429608292012-12-02T11:04:01.658-05:002012-12-02T11:04:01.658-05:00Reading stories like this makes me sick to my stom...Reading stories like this makes me sick to my stomach and makes my heart beat faster. We are dealing here with babies, helpless infants who can't protect or defend themselves. Given the lack of ethics "A Act of Love" has shown with its clients, I have no confidence that they are carefully screening PAPs. I fear for the safety of these children.<br /><br />Their m.o. is get baby, give to new family, get paid. Get baby, give to new family, get paid... wash..rinse...repeat. The whole operation has a very Georgia Tann-esque feel to it.<br /><br />And what is it with all these young women who flock to Utah so eager to give up their babies? Most of them have probably never set foot in Utah in their lives. Are they being brainwashed, kidnapped? Are they going of their own free will? The whole kit and caboodle sounds highly suspicious.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56494130008594483602012-12-01T22:51:13.114-05:002012-12-01T22:51:13.114-05:00That white box is gone now Lorraine.
There is a l...That white box is gone now Lorraine.<br /><br />There is a laundry list of things that bother me about these Utah cases and cases in other states of course, so much so that I will not even list them all!<br /><br />But you definitely said it when you said "How do they sleep at night?" That was at the top of my list.<br /><br />Also, in this age of the internet and access to just about any information a person could ask for, just HOW do the adoptive parents think these kids they have unlawfully held onto are going to react when they are adults and find out their father wanted them so badly? And then find out that due to their a-parents finagling and stall tactics that the courts denied their father custody of them?<br /><br />It's positively Shakespearean...Darianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-57403671587707621172012-12-01T22:07:42.842-05:002012-12-01T22:07:42.842-05:00Is it fixed, anyone? I had to take the "read ...Is it fixed, anyone? I had to take the "read more" bar and reinsert it. Now as far as I can tell, we are okay> I also took out the picture of Ramsey Shaud, it may also have been causing a problem.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-25748017405980634292012-12-01T20:23:37.554-05:002012-12-01T20:23:37.554-05:00No problems the first time but just now a box of w...No problems the first time but just now a box of white.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-75202083782717996302012-12-01T18:40:08.937-05:002012-12-01T18:40:08.937-05:00Is anybody besides me having trouble when they fir...Is anybody besides me having trouble when they first go to this post> I see a lot of white space and a few lines and part of the photo until I hit the "read more."<br /> It's okay if I come from FB. <br /><br />please let me know. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-52506968195116988152012-12-01T18:14:57.599-05:002012-12-01T18:14:57.599-05:00Great Post - completely agree and you know what......Great Post - completely agree and you know what...nothing stains adoption more - than cases like this. People like to say adoption is soooo different than my / your era...sadly - it isn't. There will always be those who have no shame in adoption.<br /><br />People should be ashamed of themselves and not be able to sleep...<br /><br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com