tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post3719362540596930647..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: "Adoption Reform?" Not really. Just the same old storyLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-25338299687223407982008-11-11T07:14:00.000-05:002008-11-11T07:14:00.000-05:00Thanks Linda,No secret who I am really, just my la...Thanks Linda,<BR/><BR/>No secret who I am really, just my lack of skill with computers that I ended up with a different name here. I am not an adoptive parent.Far from it.<BR/><BR/>But I do not see all adoptive parents as bad or as our enemies. Some of them do support ethical adoption, like the ones who founded Ethica, or work for open records and truly open adoption. Adoptive parents, like birthparents and adoptees, come in all kinds, good and bad. They are not all against us or supportive of "anything to get a kid" adoption corruption.<BR/><BR/>I do not like to see any group of people the target of mindless prejudice, adoptive parents included. But I would be the first to go after anyone who DOES support corrupt adoption practices. It just is not that simple as "us against them".<BR/><BR/>Nor do I think we should just give up on adoption reform because it is difficult and slow.What worthy cause is not?maryannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14820185286946511471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-43644638273846223092008-11-10T19:10:00.000-05:002008-11-10T19:10:00.000-05:00In the event mairaine doesn't revisit this blog, I...In the event mairaine doesn't revisit this blog, I'll respond to improper adoptee's question. Maraine is indeed a birthmother who I know personally. She's been involved in adoption reform/open records here in NJ for as long as I've been a member of the birthmother sisterhood. In fact, she founded one of the first birthmother support groups I knew of about 30 years ago.<BR/><BR/>And Mairaine made a valid point. While most of the FMF community agrees that adoption sucks--I've been saying for years that it's become a four letter word to me--there are, unfortnately, circumstances where it's indeed the last resort, and the most logical alternative.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05958887097090820238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-17843917846257466422008-11-10T18:33:11.811-05:002008-11-10T18:33:11.811-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-67187748363452051172008-11-10T04:29:00.000-05:002008-11-10T04:29:00.000-05:00Glad you wrote the list and asked them to stop. It...Glad you wrote the list and asked them to stop. It also annoyed me.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17088288948654864117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-11167279931011900162008-11-09T12:28:00.000-05:002008-11-09T12:28:00.000-05:00Mairaine wrote, "adoption needs to be controlled; ...Mairaine wrote, "adoption needs to be controlled; made ethical, transparent and honest; it needs to be a last resort and happen only when it really is the lesser evil in individual circumstances, and it needs to be open, with enforceable openness. That in itself is a daunting enough task in the real world, but it is one I believe will be possible eventually. I do not see abolishing all adoption as a realistic possibility."<BR/><BR/>I never said ALL adoption should be abolished. But I also think your opinion, above, is held by a miniscule number of adoptive parents. The reformers will never be able to defeat the billions of dollas made in the private adoption industry, and the industry is the driving force in adoption practice and legislation. Openess and tranparency would only serve to reduce the number of adoptions because the corruption would be impossible to hide. They'll never allow that. <BR/><BR/>So as much as I like your stated values about adoption, I'll stand by my original statement - no such thing as adoption reform. Most adoptive parents are happy with the status quo, and the agencies absolutely LOVE the profits. Where's the incentive for reform?maybehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07067284504038707207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-80374166905554088902008-11-08T17:34:00.000-05:002008-11-08T17:34:00.000-05:00Denise, your complaint about this post went out on...Denise, your complaint about this post went out on ANS today. I too was annoyed by getting that same post so many times; once would have been more than enough. I hope Pam will not send these out in the future, or at least limit them.<BR/><BR/>"Maybe", what do you mean there is no such thing as adoption reform? That comes as news to those of us who have been involved in adoption reform for years. Perhaps you are one who wants adoption abolished, not reformed. You may want that, and settle for nothing less,but it isn't going to happen.<BR/><BR/>Adoption needs to be controlled; mae ethical, transparent and honest; it needs to be a last resort and happen only when it really is the lesser evil in individual circumstances, and it needs to be open, with enforceable openness. That in itself is a daunting enough task in the real world, but it is one I believe will be possible eventually. I do not see abolishing all adoption as a realistic possibility.maryannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14820185286946511471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-91359534193781528562008-11-08T10:29:29.148-05:002008-11-08T10:29:29.148-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-29897572088759086512008-11-08T08:43:00.000-05:002008-11-08T08:43:00.000-05:00Adoption reform? Ain't no such thing.Adoption reform? Ain't no such thing.maybehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07067284504038707207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70701709218752346932008-11-07T18:54:00.000-05:002008-11-07T18:54:00.000-05:00I'm with you, Lorraine.I'm with you, Lorraine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com