tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post3724912367158843882..comments2024-03-14T17:59:30.786-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Adoptees and first parents for access to OBC --In today's NY TimesLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-21508045506112321092014-06-20T14:09:59.289-04:002014-06-20T14:09:59.289-04:00Hi Cherry: I'm not sure about records of name...Hi Cherry: I'm not sure about records of name changes. That's one of the reasons I contacted a search angel....they have more resources than I do! I though about the fact that my first mother could have gotten married later on and changed her name. But the whole search goes cold right after I was born. She signed an affidavit over three years later, and we finalized the adoption, but she was not present. Any sibling that I found on the census also seems to have disappeared. Right now that is all I know. Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47620149608396831442014-06-20T05:24:42.889-04:002014-06-20T05:24:42.889-04:00Julia Emily, is there anything like a record of na...Julia Emily, is there anything like a record of name changes by deed poll? Could that lead anywhere?Cherrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-25131542200173203212014-06-19T17:34:43.464-04:002014-06-19T17:34:43.464-04:00Amen, Lorraine. Maybe next year? Amen, Lorraine. Maybe next year? Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-28898661638151260722014-06-19T13:03:56.846-04:002014-06-19T13:03:56.846-04:00We are very discouraged in NY, as Julia E notes.
...We are very discouraged in NY, as Julia E notes. <br /><br />"We are not wrong, we are not wrong in what we are doing. If we are wrong, the Supreme Court of this nation is wrong. If we are wrong, the Constitution of the United States is wrong. And if we are wrong, God Almighty is wrong. If we are wrong, Jesus of Nazareth was merely a utopian dreamer that never came down to Earth. If we are wrong, justice is a lie, love has no meaning. And we are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until "justice runs down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream."--Martin Luther KingLorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56890914171111910862014-06-19T12:25:40.521-04:002014-06-19T12:25:40.521-04:00Cherry and Julia Emily: [[[Cyberhugs]]]
The only ...Cherry and Julia Emily: [[[Cyberhugs]]]<br /><br />The only tender feelings being taken into account here are those of the most easily threatened and defensive adoptive parents, those NOT like the kind souls who embrace the heritages of ALL of those whose nature and nurture comprises their families.MrsTarquinBiscuitbarrelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00479830264284065679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-11309045617162013352014-06-19T03:21:48.191-04:002014-06-19T03:21:48.191-04:00There is quite a buzz going on, from what I can se...There is quite a buzz going on, from what I can see on Facebook, about these miserable amendments to the NY bills. I have emailed and called the legislators. I tried to post a comment on the actual Senate bill, but it seems they are really not allowing comments, since not one comment has shown up in over 24 hours. The adoptees and first mothers here are not being quiet about this. But, today being the last day of session, I am really not hopeful at all.<br /><br />On a personal level, I put my original name and my first mother's name in all the registries I can think of. I contacted a search angel to see if she can find out if my first mother has passed away, or if she left the country. So far, she has also come up with nothing. Every lead so far is a dead end.<br /><br />A-parents have not brought up the passport subject. They haven't even asked me how the application process is going.<br /><br />So....here I am. Very discouraged. The amendments to the bills are a disgrace. A real slap in the face. The attitude toward adoptees is sickening. And it is not changing. Corruption and big money making is written all over this adoption story. Nobody cares about the actual people involved.Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-35498390152622284752014-06-18T08:39:31.729-04:002014-06-18T08:39:31.729-04:00There was no comment section for this article at t...There was no comment section for this article at the Times--maddening. So please please write a letter to the times:<br /> How to Submit a Letter to the Editor<br />Letters should be exclusive to The New York Times<br /><br />Letters should preferably be 150 to 175 words, should refer to an article that has appeared within the last seven days, and must include the writer's address and phone numbers. No attachments, please.<br /><br />We regret that because of the volume of submissions, we cannot acknowledge unpublished letters other than by an automated e-mail reply. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified within a week. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.<br /><br />To send a letter to the editor:<br /><br />letters@nytimes.com (for readers of The New York Times)Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-48929660140901919302014-06-18T04:57:28.148-04:002014-06-18T04:57:28.148-04:00I wonder if a very public, very noisy, publicity-o...I wonder if a very public, very noisy, publicity-oriented coalition of first mothers and adopted persons supporting adoptee rights is needed to counteract this. (Forgive me if one exists already - I'm in the UK so not fully aware of everything from here). <br /><br />As it is, the 'reasoning' behind these bills sets up a divide-and-rule dynamic between first parents and adopted persons. A coalition rejects this dynamic in its furtherance of adoptee rights.<br /><br />It also rejects the perpetuation of more adoption myths created by such bills - ie. that first mothers were made this sacred promise of confidentiality, when I know for certain that wasn't true for me and it sounds like it wasn't for others in the US either. The actual message I got could be paraphrased as 'You won't ever know anything at all about your child as it would upset the adoptive parents and that would then upset the baby and you don't want that do you?.' <br /><br />If other first mothers are like me, they LONG to hear from their sons and daughters.<br /><br />Cherrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19598282514928315852014-06-17T23:44:45.660-04:002014-06-17T23:44:45.660-04:00Scroll down; there is a place to comment. Better s...Scroll down; there is a place to comment. Better still, comment on the NYT article and write to members of the NY legislature.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-32560046032290030462014-06-17T15:05:11.750-04:002014-06-17T15:05:11.750-04:00Bills were amended and they stink. All about "...Bills were amended and they stink. All about "birth parent consent." It's a step backwards. I'm so disgusted. Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-8059925026377796222014-06-17T11:31:26.124-04:002014-06-17T11:31:26.124-04:00Pam: your comment should be emailed to the NY Time...Pam: your comment should be emailed to the NY Times letters to the editor. Word for word. It says it all.Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-33458430552480817512014-06-17T10:09:07.564-04:002014-06-17T10:09:07.564-04:00There is no comment section for this article. Wher...There is no comment section for this article. Where are we supposed to go bitch (about the stupid closed records)?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-75630267145005686272014-06-16T12:57:32.852-04:002014-06-16T12:57:32.852-04:00I agree. So much damage has been done. But I am sa...I agree. So much damage has been done. But I am sad to say I don't think it will happen this year. Very discouraged .Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-83930905123239304942014-06-16T10:50:54.281-04:002014-06-16T10:50:54.281-04:00I am a birth mother who lost a son to adoption in ...I am a birth mother who lost a son to adoption in 1968. I was able to find him two and a half years ago, despite the NY laws re. adoption records. I implore all NY legislators to open all adoption records for adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents. Enough damage has been done by all the secrecy, shame, and lies. It's time for openness and truth. Knowing your true identity is a basic civil right. I was not promised that I'd remain a secret to my son; I assumed it because that's how things were. I know better now. We should all know better now and legislators need to put things right.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08653853519675824740noreply@blogger.com