tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post3778107202289709934..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Adoption by Gentle Care being sued by WyrembekLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19738454201212513242015-10-18T20:57:55.123-04:002015-10-18T20:57:55.123-04:00Carri beat me to it! I was gong to post that this ...Carri beat me to it! I was gong to post that this is the same agency keeping camden from her and his sibs.Mirah Ribenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13626873757236976251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-61793854511996802262015-10-18T12:02:40.991-04:002015-10-18T12:02:40.991-04:00Assuming that adoption is the only option for a mo...Assuming that adoption is the only option for a mother in crisis is plain wrong. And I don't suggest that abortion is the only other option either. Consider providing support to that mother so that she can parent her own child. If we truly valued families in this country, we would have systems in place to do just that. No mother should be forced to lose her child because of youth, poverty, or lack of family support. In the end society would pay less to keep families intact, as the rates of incarceration, suicide, and mental illness among adoptees attest.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08653853519675824740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-50691878614512569722015-10-18T11:57:43.127-04:002015-10-18T11:57:43.127-04:00I am an adoptive mother who loves her son. I am a...I am an adoptive mother who loves her son. I am also a natural mother who relinquished a son for adoption. I know what I'm talking about when I talk about adoption. Yes, I love my adopted son, but what I feel for him is, in all honesty, not identical to what I feel for my biological children (I raised two). Loving an adopted child is, I find, more like loving a spouse. The attachment can be intense and enduring, but it's qualitatively different from the attachment between mother and biological child. I loved my birthed babies long before they were born. I fell in love with my adopted son AFTER picking him up at the airport in 1974 (he's Vietnamese). I have no doubt that you love your adopted child, Diana, but as you haven't given birth, you can't compare it to what a natural mother feels. Einstein said that God does not play dice with the universe. Well, he doesn't play dice with parenthood either. I'm not religious, but I'm pretty sure that God would not put a baby into one mother with the plan to "give" it to another. Adoption should be about the needs of the child, not the desires of the adoptive parents, strong as those might be. I love my adopted son, which is why, if he had the chance to reconnect with his biological family, I'd be the first to celebrate with him.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08653853519675824740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47011248907035410542015-10-18T11:49:04.656-04:002015-10-18T11:49:04.656-04:00It's very sad when someone wants to have a bab...It's very sad when someone wants to have a baby and can't, but that is NO reason to take someone else's. Children in foster care who genuinely need a family are the only ones who should be adopted (legal guardianship is preferable). Newborns and babies should NOT be for sale ever. Life is not fair; sometimes it is filled with disappointments. Many who would like to marry can't find a suitable mate. Many who would like to be financially secure have to struggle all their lives. Many who would like to be healthy suffer from chronic illness. Infertility can be a disappointment, to be sure, but it is not an entitlement.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08653853519675824740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-49071293447059221852014-10-08T12:38:08.861-04:002014-10-08T12:38:08.861-04:00easily said by someone who CAN have their own chil...easily said by someone who CAN have their own children..hope you feel better !Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00664363445775160301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-67648628508501444822014-04-29T09:29:25.603-04:002014-04-29T09:29:25.603-04:00http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/adoption-by-ge...http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/adoption-by-gentle-care-an-adoption-agency-in-ohio-not-so-gentle-not-so-caring/<br /><br />Adoption by gentle care has my son.<br />Please read.<br />Same agency. Help us.Carrilove17https://www.blogger.com/profile/01077151018426368832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70023313794477334782014-03-11T15:07:02.464-04:002014-03-11T15:07:02.464-04:00Great post! Been studying adoption recently. Thank...Great post! Been studying adoption recently. Thanks for the info!Studying Adoptionhttp://www.tanefflaw.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-53196736546797702262011-11-21T17:56:08.925-05:002011-11-21T17:56:08.925-05:00Regarding Anon's comment that the Vaughn's...Regarding Anon's comment that the Vaughn's had information that the Wyrembek boy would be in danger if he was returned to his father: the Vaughn's should have passed this information on to the state Child Protective Services. If there was evidence to support the allegations, CPS could have commenced a court action to keep Benjamin Wyrembek from having the boy. Wyrembek would have had the opportunity to defend himself. Instead, the Vaughns chose to fight the case in the media, relying on it to publish only their side of the story and giving Wyrembek no opportunity to defend himself. <br /><br />What Anon is advocating is a doctrine that would allow someone to grab a kid and keep him simply by convincing the media that he would be a better parent. Fortunately this is not the law.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23049906860152404642011-11-21T14:20:43.750-05:002011-11-21T14:20:43.750-05:00Lorraine, You are quick to describe the Vaughns as...Lorraine, You are quick to describe the Vaughns as slime. Please make a note that the Vaughn's are also sueing the adoption agency because of informaton withheld from them. Perhaps you are correct the child should have been returned earlier however if you had been given the same information the Vaughn's were you may have made the same decision they did...particularly if you felt the child was endangered. How you been the least bit concerned about the child since he was given to the father. The courts have seemed to wash their hands of the situation. What if the information regarding the biological father was true...shouldn't the community been somewhat concerned and shouldn't someone be monitoring the transition for this child? As we have seen many times a biological connection is not a guarantee of a safe environment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-77724826564789662792011-11-05T13:27:17.454-04:002011-11-05T13:27:17.454-04:00There should be an anti- dual agent law against ag...There should be an anti- dual agent law against agencies who profit hugely from the sale of white infants. ( now that it is trendy perhaps the price of a different skin color is highly valued by purchasers)<br /><br />No infant adoption should take place without representation for the mother/father, notification to all adult kin and a clear explanation of government support that most women would choose if they knew. (Informed consent)<br /><br />Also to speak about a "waiting" adopter or attacking a women's ability to parent her unborn child should be grounds for loosing a license as it is undue influence/ pressure. <br /><br />As is plain to see virtually all children that are forcibly surrendered as infants are illegal adoptions. <br /><br />I am fortunate my son knew intuitively that his mother did not give him up. He consistently asked about me and even told his teachers that his mother wanted him but he was bought.<br /><br />My son and I are both extremely traumatized and the adopters continue to bask in their denial and delusions.mbarabinonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-975731049613146992011-03-09T16:39:43.106-05:002011-03-09T16:39:43.106-05:00Just in case you haven't seen the news...it...Just in case you haven't seen the news...it's over but there is a hint in the article that more could be done...sigh<br /><br />US Supreme Court declines to hear Indiana adoption case; couple surrendered boy to his father<br /><br /><br />http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/031839d11a94432bb76ba8a365d0876a/IN--Adoption-Dispute/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-22398166359166609102010-12-02T21:12:39.603-05:002010-12-02T21:12:39.603-05:00Wow, so much anger and hate on this site. I have ...Wow, so much anger and hate on this site. I have just one question. Why do all you anti adoption people blame good people who open their hearts and homes to adopt a child. Aren't the bio parents the ones you should be pointing the finger at. They are the ones bringing children into the world that they cannot care for.Tigernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-1242582096447370992010-11-13T16:33:09.078-05:002010-11-13T16:33:09.078-05:00I think it is interesting that ABGC knew that BW h...I think it is interesting that ABGC knew that BW had registered with Ohio putative father registry and as the agency that has CUSTODY of the yet-to-be-adopted child, they did not enforce their own policies. They knew BW had registered and was exherting his parental rights. They sat back and watched this unfold saying, "its outta my hands" when really it was only IN their hands. They coulda and shoulda stopped this all in the very beginning. I believe the Vaughn's did what they were told to do as did Ben. But the agency just did what it wanted to. Shame on ABGC. Why are they still open??? They were held in contempt of court and yet they sat back and continued to say it had nothing to do with them. I hope baby Wymbreck sues them (if they are still around) when he is 18.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-26681778504140957112010-11-13T13:55:05.288-05:002010-11-13T13:55:05.288-05:00Thank you d28bob!
LMAO!!!
@Jamie,
What Kool Aid ...Thank you d28bob!<br /><br />LMAO!!!<br /><br />@Jamie,<br />What Kool Aid are you drinking?Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-4147430272245370682010-11-13T10:55:01.584-05:002010-11-13T10:55:01.584-05:00BTW, Jamie- nothing so builds a child's self-e...BTW, Jamie- nothing so builds a child's self-esteem as being daily reminded by Bible-thumpers like you and the Vaughns that he is a product of sin, redeemed only by the grace of people like the Vaughns. <br /><br />If we want to get technical, Ben was not married- Drusilla was the one who violated her marriage vows by having an affair. Whose halo are you polishing?d28bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05866860173755756630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-46373498239548838812010-11-13T10:48:48.310-05:002010-11-13T10:48:48.310-05:00Jamie said...
Why does this guy feel a paternal b...Jamie said... <br />Why does this guy feel a paternal bond with a child that was born out of adultery!?!? That child deserves a loving home, and garendamntee he won't be cherished or loved in this biological house. He won't be taught the value and sanctity of marriage and something will always be missing. Just because you slept with a married woman doesn't entitle you to the result of that huge and illegal mistake."<br /><br />Jamie, as one of those "results of a huge and illegal mistake" may I respectully suggest you take your pseudo-Christian holier-than-thou attitude and stick it and your judgments into some orifice that only gets sunlight when you stand on your head at noon?<br /><br />So we bastards are God's punishment for our parent's failure to live up to your hypocrisy? May I remind you that Jesus' mother Mary was not married to Joseph nor to the Power of the Holy Spirit that "overshadowed" her and led to His conception. Thus by your standards Jesus was a bastard, too.<br /><br />I'm curious what foundation you have for believing that Grayson cannot be loved or cherished in Ben's home. Apparently you believe only married couples are entitled to be parents?<br /><br />Go read the eighth chapter of John's Gospel, Jamie. Then tell us who should be throwing stones at adulterers.d28bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05866860173755756630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90876843389262242192010-11-13T07:12:36.363-05:002010-11-13T07:12:36.363-05:00@Jamie,
"He won't be taught the value an...@Jamie,<br /> "He won't be taught the value and sanctity of marriage and something will always be missing."<br /><br />You are right about one thing. Grayson will be taught something. He will be taught that he is the most valuable thing in the world to his father and that his father would go to the ends of the earth and trash his (the father's) reputation worldwide to be able to take care of HIS son. Grayson will be taught that even though his parents made a mistake that it is not his responsibility to pay the price for it by being abandoned and rejected by his bio-parents and raised by genetic strangers. do Grayson will be spared the low self-esteem so common in adoptees. He will never have to wonder who is REAL parents are, who he looks like, why he was given away and if he was loved by own parents. He will not even have to suffer the indignity of a fake birth certificate.<br /><br />Granted, Grayson's bio-parents might not win the "most moral people of the year" award. However, unless you have been living in a cave, people have been having sex pre-maritally and extra-maritally since time began. Would it be a better world if people only had sex in marriage? Possibly. It would be an advantage to children to always be born to a married couple in a loving, secure relationship. But you can not state with certainty that Grayson will not have a loving and stable with his natural father just because he was born from an affair.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-4674192961419586212010-11-12T21:34:53.405-05:002010-11-12T21:34:53.405-05:00So you are saying that he couldnt possibly bond wi...So you are saying that he couldnt possibly bond with his son because he was concieved in an affair? Can a mother bond with a child under the same circumstances?<br /><br /> This boy should have been legally returned to his parent, the parent that wanted him, as soon as paternity was determined.AnnettaCMnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23232195955360151792010-11-12T19:58:53.034-05:002010-11-12T19:58:53.034-05:00Jamie said...
"Why does this guy feel a pater...Jamie said...<br />"Why does this guy feel a paternal bond with a child that was born out of adultery!?!? That child deserves a loving home, and garendamntee he won't be cherished or loved in this biological house. He won't be taught the value and sanctity of marriage and something will always be missing. Just because you slept with a married woman doesn't entitle you to the result of that huge and illegal mistake. Yes he is a criminal on so many levels and unfit to be a responsible parent. It is a just as it has been said, he is after the paycheck, that is all! I love how these comments are censored, lets see if this gets posted..."<br /><br />So you think it's ok that the Vaughn's did what they did? I hear so many of you saying how horrible it is to rip a child from his "mother's arms" You do realize that is exactly what the Vaughn's did when this child was born right? They inflicted a wound on him, just as his mother did. Do you honestly think simply because they have more money and are married that it makes them better parents? If that's the case should someone take my still minor child from me and finish raising her? She of the 4.0 GPA and she who has already begun applying to colleges, she who has done better than my best married friend's daughter who is a cutter and on Prozac for her issues? <br /><br />Who caused all the issues Grayson is now experiencing? Oh right the Vaughn's did that by stalling, defying court order's and refusing the mediator's suggestions. It is the Vaughn's who have caused all this. It is the Vaughn's who prolonged the litigation, forcing Ben's hand. Why do you find it so objectionable that a man would want to raise his child?<br /><br />Further to your comment about deleteing and censoring comments. Go talk to Keeping Grayson Home- with the delete happy mod who can't stand to see the truth on the page. I suggest you and all of the other supporter's of the Vaughn's learn the real truth of what has gone on before you judge Ben Wyrembeck, who has every legal right to raise HIS CHILD!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02294355793865435862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19990450459731333962010-11-12T15:57:24.928-05:002010-11-12T15:57:24.928-05:00Why does this guy feel a paternal bond with a chil...Why does this guy feel a paternal bond with a child that was born out of adultery!?!? That child deserves a loving home, and garendamntee he won't be cherished or loved in this biological house. He won't be taught the value and sanctity of marriage and something will always be missing. Just because you slept with a married woman doesn't entitle you to the result of that huge and illegal mistake. Yes he is a criminal on so many levels and unfit to be a responsible parent. It is a just as it has been said, he is after the paycheck, that is all! I love how these comments are censored, lets see if this gets posted...Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07662747234930460540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-64841267904221832552010-11-11T14:52:25.402-05:002010-11-11T14:52:25.402-05:00I am new here and I am an adoptive mom, twice. I a...I am new here and I am an adoptive mom, twice. I adopted older ( 8 yrs and 16 yrs old), US kids who had parential rights terminated because of profound abuse and neglect.<br /><br /><br /> I struggled with infertility for years and years, and once I became a mom, it went into the back seat, meaning I didnt cry every time I got my period any more.<br /><br /> Graysons case is astounding...The wrong that was done to Ben AND to Grayson is horrific and, I suspect, criminal. If this family, the Vaughns, had done the right thing, this would have been over BEFORE Grayson got hurt. Clearly, the ethical, honest thing to have done was return him to the parent, the biological parent, who wants him and loves him. Now, its a very hard thing for the little one, yet its because of the agency and the Vaughns that it has happened at 3 yrs old instead of when he was a tiny infant.<br /><br /> I love my kids..who are adults now. They have ties to their bio siblings, cousins, etc, as they desire. All 4 bio parents of my kids have died, 3 of drug related issues/illnesses and one was shot in self defense as he was attacking his girlfriend. My kids have always had whatever contact they wanted and asked for, and I had relationships with the bio families as mush as they allowed.<br /><br /> So, now, I am a grandma..and here comes the infertility demon again. I was there when my grandaughter was born and BAM..there it was again..She wasnt related to me, and she clearly looked like her bio family..and it slammed me in the heart, after many, many years. I adore my grandkids, yet I still long for that pregnancy, that DNA tie..Being an adoptive mom really didnt take that drive away from me, tho when I was raising my kids, I was very happy and satisfied. <br /><br /><br /> I absolutely agree that adoption is NOT a perfect option for a child. Loss of the bio roots is extraordinarily painful. Sometimes, tho, as in my kids case, its far better than floating around in a foster care system that routinely is far less than perfect. Open adoption seems to me to be the best option, when adoption is chosen With my kids, the rights were terminated, yet we still allowed contact when my kids started asking for it. Anything else would have been, in my opinion, a terrible injustice to the kids.<br /><br /> As adults, they make their own choices and they each seem to have chosen limited contact and occasional visits with siblings. They still see me as Mom and seek me out for mom stuff, holidays, lunches,time,babysitting, etc. We all know we arent blood, and mostly that doesnt matter as our relationship is what it is. <br /><br /> Re Grayson...This will leave a scar and I am angry that the system failed him so horribly, way back when.. He is where he belongs and where he should have been since the very beginning.AnnettaCMnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-63788407367881862662010-11-07T19:46:48.640-05:002010-11-07T19:46:48.640-05:00Jane said, "Birth parents have fewer rights t...Jane said, "Birth parents have fewer rights than purchasers of vacuum cleaners from door-to door salesman."<br /><br />Right. And I don't think even vacuum cleaners are always purchased that way any more. They can be bought online.<br /><br />HaighaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-89958946911228720682010-11-07T18:47:21.715-05:002010-11-07T18:47:21.715-05:00Regarding Diana's comment that the laws protec...Regarding Diana's comment that the laws protect birth parents and render adoptive parents virtually powerless, nothing could be farther from the truth. In most states, the laws are grotesquely tiled towards adoptive parents. Birth parents have fewer rights than purchasers of vacuum cleaners from door-to door salesman.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38360669082237628982010-11-07T09:58:16.599-05:002010-11-07T09:58:16.599-05:00Robin wrote: "As for infertility being a rand...Robin wrote: <b>"As for infertility being a random affliction, according to years of scientific reasearch into the problem, the leading causes remain; delayed childbearing (those eggs don't last forever), STD's, obesity, and other lifestyle choices such as smoking, etc."</b><br /><br />I'm an infertile mom, via fertility treatments, who utterly abhors what the Vaughns did to that poor child and his natural father, and am generally sympathetic to the views expressed in this blog. I don't think any infertile person is owed a child, particularly at the expense of the natural family.<br /><br />But it really saddens me to see how quick some here are to heap blame on women for their infertility. Having struggled to have a child of my own for many years, I have read the stories of many, many women and I just don't believe it's true that most of their issues are due to lifestyle choices. There are so many medical, hormonal, structural, environmental and immunologic causes of infertility (not to mention male issues).<br /><br />And even among those you could attribute to "lifestyle choices," it is often not so simple to blame the women. For example, with respect to age, often with older women, the delay is due to the person waiting to meet her life partner (not the typical stereotype of delaying because of career and simply putting having a child on the back burner). With respect to weight, it is quite common that there is an issue (e.g., PCOS) that causes both weight gain and infertility. <br /><br />I get that infertile women are not owed anyone else's child. By all means, point the finger at women who think they are so entitled. But don't be so quick to blame the victim for her condition, already a source of great suffering and stigma.Tianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-8683509580218059682010-11-06T15:51:10.773-04:002010-11-06T15:51:10.773-04:00"because of the laws in this country that pro..."because of the laws in this country that protect the biological parents rendering adoptive parents virtually powerless in the court system, we chose to adopt internationally..."<br /><br /><br />These kinds of comments really scare me, I feel so sad for the mothers in developing countries, their children mostly get adopted by the worst types of people.Kimnoreply@blogger.com