tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post4949044049802227102..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Learning my daughter had given up a daughter for adoptionLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-78332068214432646072010-06-11T15:36:15.106-04:002010-06-11T15:36:15.106-04:00Laura:
I don't know if you are coming back h...Laura: <br /><br />I don't know if you are coming back here but you did not include your email and yes, that is Mary Wielding. I did include her name in the notice about her.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-25619914109483212942010-06-10T12:01:45.991-04:002010-06-10T12:01:45.991-04:00Hi Lorraine, When you go to the Adoption Mosaic pa...Hi Lorraine, When you go to the Adoption Mosaic page you can click the "Like" icon at the top of the page. (Facebook keeps changing things to keep us on our toes, I guess!)<br /><br />Yes, I will link to one of your posts. Thank you!!Liviahttp://blog.adoptionmosaic.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56582750706966650462010-06-09T16:39:58.328-04:002010-06-09T16:39:58.328-04:00Uhh, excuse me, would you post the link to the blo...Uhh, excuse me, would you post the link to the blog on the adoption mosiac page? I can not and can not see how to become a member. Thanks!Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-6394102571065249852010-06-09T11:43:27.992-04:002010-06-09T11:43:27.992-04:00Lorraine, thank you for opening up a discussion on...Lorraine, thank you for opening up a discussion on this. I found the question very interesting and reposted it on our Adoption Mosaic Facebook page:<br /><br />http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/AdoptionMosaic<br /><br />We're an organization for all those in the adoption community who want to discuss the complexities of adoption openly and honestly. We'd really love to get all birth/first moms here into the conversation.Liviahttp://blog.adoptionmosaic.org/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90942426347349509942010-06-08T23:21:24.458-04:002010-06-08T23:21:24.458-04:00My first mom was adopted as well, but it was kind ...My first mom was adopted as well, but it was kind of a strange situation. From what I understand, she was the 4th child of my grandmother...but the first of my grandfather. My grandfather was the baby in his family and supposedly his mother was "lonely" after he left the home to marry my grandmother. Anyhow, apparently my grandmother was overwhelmed caring for so many children (I believe she was only 19 when my mom was born) that she allowed my mom to be adopted by her husband's mother. I was told my mom was a toddler when this happened, too, not an infant.<br /><br />My mom told me it was very painful growing up near to, but not with her parents and siblings. I can only imagine how that must have felt to her, considering granny kept all other 7 of her children.<br /><br />So, when my mom got pg with me and realized that she was unable to care for me financially she did not want me to be raised by someone else in the family, even though I have been told that peeople were offering. She told me that she wanted me to have a "real" set of parents, not just an aunt and uncle that took me in because they felt obligated.<br /><br />So, that was that. <br /><br />As for other children, my mom already had a little boy (15mo) when I was born and she had two more sons within 5 yrs of my birth. I was her only daughter.lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-80243704768224297732010-06-07T15:16:11.911-04:002010-06-07T15:16:11.911-04:00ahhh yes moving on getting over it,something I hav...ahhh yes moving on getting over it,something I have heard over and over by mostly those who have no idea what in the hell they are talking about!<br /><br />Those who sit on the outside looking in and say why can't you forget?<br /><br />Yes, women do go on and have other children. I had three after being forced to surrender my second child a full sib to my first born daughter. My "parents" (like their own) loved my daughter so much they figured she didn't deserve to be raised with her full brother? They "loved" me so much that they figured I would forget. After 44 years that hasn't happened in fact in reunion I find I still live with it daily. Reunited since 93 in full time living together situation. Our choice with everybody, else, offering their opinions.<br /><br />gAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-52259408166203722712010-06-07T06:48:32.581-04:002010-06-07T06:48:32.581-04:00Very informal observation; as well as the mothers ...Very informal observation; as well as the mothers who never had another child, I have known a lot of mothers like me who got pregnant again right away, within a couple of years of surrendering, and some who had many more kids in what they later say was a vain attempt to make up for the loss of the first.<br /><br />I had three more kids, I know mothers who had five and six more. Some adoptees have found they were the first of very large families, 8 or ten kids, and some who were a middle or last child.<br /><br />Another variant is the mothers who waited many years to have another child, with their first and second children 15 or 20 years or more apart.<br /><br />Surrender affected all of us, but in different ways.<br /><br />I have also met some adoptee/birthmothers, also adoptee/adoptive mothers, and birthmother/adoptive mothers. Many have two roles in the adoption drama.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38925530655196100632010-06-07T00:38:04.353-04:002010-06-07T00:38:04.353-04:00Just before my surrendered daughter Megan was born...Just before my surrendered daughter Megan was born in 1966, I met a women who had just begun her job as a social worker at Florence Crittenton home in San Francisco. She told me that she noticed immediately that many of the young women at FC were adoptees. The older social workers told her that it just seemed that way; they insisted that adoptees did not constitute a disproportionate number of residents. <br /><br />Since my reunion I've met many adoptee/ birthmoms. I think that the new social worker's observations were correct. The older social workers simply did not want to accept the facts before them.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-62221159283005942002010-06-06T18:57:21.928-04:002010-06-06T18:57:21.928-04:00I'm in the same category Von and Lorraine - no...I'm in the same category Von and Lorraine - no other children. Several studies apparantly indicate that approximately 1/3 of women who have surrendered children to adoption suffer from secondary infertility. <br /><br />One of the first studies I remember reading was at Harvard in the 1980's.<br /><br />Perhaps for me, this is one of the major reasons why I can't put it behind me and "get on with my life". Losing my son to adoption began to define who I am.Carolchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12983135296851385826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-6270508812979689062010-06-06T18:46:17.469-04:002010-06-06T18:46:17.469-04:00Lorraine,
sorry I can't find a way to communic...Lorraine,<br />sorry I can't find a way to communicate to you other than here. I saw your post about the search angel Mary. Is that Mary Weidling?<br /> I'm including my email address, but you don't need to post my comment.<br /><br />ThanksLaurahttp://lorabell1331@comcast.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-69347992450446579232010-06-06T18:41:26.289-04:002010-06-06T18:41:26.289-04:00Von: Of course that's the category I fall int...Von: Of course that's the category I fall into...no other children.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56708142066213452552010-06-06T18:03:25.767-04:002010-06-06T18:03:25.767-04:00Noting the above, I can only agree...it goes on an...Noting the above, I can only agree...it goes on and on, a life sentence with plenty of work to be done, always.Thanks for telling your story, I've found you recently, so useful to have this update.<br />The other outcome for mothers as I'm sure you know is not having other children.My own mother was too traumatised by the whole experience and remained so all her life.The help available today, the insights and support will hopefully make it a little 'easier' than it was for her. Times have changed although not in some ways for the better, with the emergence of the "BeeMommies". Good wishes...Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.com