tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post5777986967545945762..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Lost Daughters: Strong, brave essays written from the heartLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19927365462946675962014-01-28T21:20:14.117-05:002014-01-28T21:20:14.117-05:00I had another first Mother over for coffee today. ...I had another first Mother over for coffee today. Our story was the same. We knew it was not best for us to part with our child, but we though all of those counseling us were correct, our daughters were better off with a two parent family. Never did we for a moment believe we would be better for our own children. What complete dunces we were! Oh the harm these children have to live through because we were so naive.Barbara Thavishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646036820037271522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-52970991226253836142014-01-28T10:39:48.336-05:002014-01-28T10:39:48.336-05:00Anybody besides me see The Black List last night? ...Anybody besides me see The Black List last night? Turned out to be the adoption story of the night with a very evil twist: angry man (who was not adopted but needed to be) kidnaps young bright girls and turns them into baby-machines while he keeps them in a coma. Thus he has babies available to be adopted with only the best credentials. As an added punch, young woman working on the case is considering adoption to save her faltering relationship, but decides againstLorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-86471901230889217552014-01-28T04:57:58.899-05:002014-01-28T04:57:58.899-05:00I often wonder if my first mother felt the same as...I often wonder if my first mother felt the same as stated here? I have no idea. She was and still is a mystery. Always in the shadows. My AP's never met her. They never gave me any info about her. The only time she was EVER mentioned, she was referred to as "the girl". The girl who provided them with a baby, I guess. <br /><br />I am sure she struggled with the feelings the first mothers are mentioning here. The secrecy from the time I was born is devastating on so many levels. There has got to be a way to end this.Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-73817774877700246232014-01-27T17:49:10.083-05:002014-01-27T17:49:10.083-05:00@Shelagh,
And how did you learn it was otherwise?@Shelagh,<br />And how did you learn it was otherwise?Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23207252619396951792014-01-27T16:56:48.546-05:002014-01-27T16:56:48.546-05:00Shelagh
It's one of the terrible shocks of a...Shelagh<br /><br /><br />It's one of the terrible shocks of adoption. I couldn't believe it either. It never, ever crossed my mind that my son might be better off with me.<br /><br />I'm sorry for the pain I am sure you will be feeling at this awful realisation.<br /><br />Cherrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70544497215197180592014-01-27T15:36:30.431-05:002014-01-27T15:36:30.431-05:00 I never dreamed for a moment that my daughter wou... I never dreamed for a moment that my daughter would be harmed by adoption.... I thought I was giving her everything I could not....Shelaghhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16414696754759376109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-65475261595042179772014-01-27T15:14:51.938-05:002014-01-27T15:14:51.938-05:00@ Robin, not that unusual:
http://www.rebeccakies...@ Robin, not that unusual:<br /><br />http://www.rebeccakiessling.com/PregnantByRape.html<br /><br />There are "birthmother" stories too. Most women who give birth in such a situation are keeping their babies. <br /> Theodorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14634057445114838262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55766842256822278742014-01-26T23:56:30.420-05:002014-01-26T23:56:30.420-05:00I came back to this blog post to purchase Lost Dau...I came back to this blog post to purchase Lost Daughters from Amazon. Just wanted to remind readers that buying things by clicking on your blog first, gives you guys a little help. I so appreciate what you both do for us and want to help in this small way.Barbara Thavishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646036820037271522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-61730717332449957992014-01-26T20:58:40.129-05:002014-01-26T20:58:40.129-05:00Barbara, Fantastic idea. I once heard an enlighten...Barbara, Fantastic idea. I once heard an enlightened adoptive mother say the same thing about 20 years ago. She said, I think we ought to be bringing into our home both the mother and the child.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-17508110630703390082014-01-26T17:33:54.410-05:002014-01-26T17:33:54.410-05:00O/T but relevant.
I know this is a pro-choice blo...O/T but relevant.<br /><br />I know this is a pro-choice blog and the link below is from a pro-life site, but I think it's important and relevant.<br /><br /> This is the story of a teenage girl who had a child under the most difficult of circumstances, but because she had a very supportive family, in particular her mother (the new grandma), there was no adoption for this baby boy.<br /><br />http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/14-year-old-rape-victim-chooses-life-now-rapist-allowed-to-attend-her-schooRobinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-32136719816240919522014-01-26T14:16:06.061-05:002014-01-26T14:16:06.061-05:00I remember talking to Claud once and discussing ho...I remember talking to Claud once and discussing how important it is to make partnerships with lots of different people. Now that Spence-Chapin are getting out of the infant adoption market, how about getting them interested in this idea. My working name is "Grandparent Fostership" Let's take those 40 somethings that are desperate to be parents and turn their thinking to become grandparents instead. How about them taking 14 or 16 or 18 or 20 year old's who lack family support and taking these vulnerable mothers and their children in. The mothers stay mothers but the foster grandparent's become grandparents! They babysit and encourage and support the mother. They teach her the skills she needs to be self sufficient. They have the baby in the house and all the joy (and heartache) that entails. They will forever be that child's grandparent. And then they lovingly set them off into the world when they are ready to go off on their own. I'm not the first to have this idea, but getting in bed with the devil to get it accomplished came to me at Mass today. What do you think? <br />Lynn C. Franklin who wrote 'May the Circle Be Unbroken: An Intimate Journey Into the Heart of Adoption' was on the board of Spence-Chapin and maybe we could get her to float the idea. Let's see real change in America. I'm sick of talking and want things to start to change!!! Barbara Thavishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646036820037271522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-32090819532548827642014-01-26T13:07:20.106-05:002014-01-26T13:07:20.106-05:00My God! Thank you for this, Lorraine. I see mysel...My God! Thank you for this, Lorraine. I see myself mentioned here in more ways than one.<br /><br />I will be ordering the paperback version of this ASAP. I hope to find some comfort in it, much the same as talking to other adoptees brings some comfort, when I am lucky enough to do so. <br /><br />Again.....why were human beings treated this way? And why are we still stuck in the dark ages regarding the sealed records? If NYS would just wake up, I could get my records, fill the holes in my history, and be able to move forward.<br /><br />Thanks again. I cannot wait to read these essays!Julia Emilynoreply@blogger.com