tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post5893761810062552163..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Sandusky is not alone in abusing adopted childrenLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-64294760774639336722011-11-29T12:57:24.066-05:002011-11-29T12:57:24.066-05:00There was one child that did report it. Like alwa...There was one child that did report it. Like always, no one really does anything about it. I know someone who reported and her children reported her husband to the police for domestic violence. Nothing was done. CPS is now involved. Nothing is being done to get that father to shape up or get him out of their lives. That mother has had to move to another state to get a reprieve from the whole mess with CPS's blessings. My situation is the same... Everyone tells me that it is legal issue and not an abuse issue and refuse to help me. So when my kids or anyone else's kids end up dead because of some abuser, do any of these law enforcement types step up? Nope... They just cover their tractsAmyadopteehttp://blog.amyadoptee.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-67056963194367138242011-11-26T18:34:38.460-05:002011-11-26T18:34:38.460-05:00The state put my four children into Foster Care, a...The state put my four children into Foster Care, and while we had experienced an 'unstable' life (I was divorced twice and coping with finding a stable living situation with my children) they never experienced being utterly cut off from me. I did everything they said and it was of no use. Thing was, I had a blond hair, blue eyed 19 month old, cute, cuddley and adoptable. Within a month of her foster care I suspect she suffered abuse where she suddenly had impetigo and cold sores which included sores that bled in her diaper area. It is absolutely known that when her Amom took her into her home, it was a day she witnessed abuse where she was, and the Foster Home was reported and closed down. Then this Amom and consequently my daughter, were told lies that my partner abused her, he was a pedophile and I just wouldn't leave him. Somehow it doesn't matter now to this woman that the County has since then settled a Suit with him for denial of First Amend. rights. I had my first 'reunion' in august and it was a day of racking me over the coals over the social services lies which I can do nothing about. These are lies which never even showed up in court documents and the woman refuses to look at those. So, believing she was abused, not important enough and adopted, my daughter is currently in a Residential Center for depression and suicide. I am ignored now to even civil emails regarding contact with her siblings who are older and are all back home with me. My older daughter was sent to live with her father who by the time she was 16 had repeatedly raped and beat her until she was in Foster Care once again. My youngest, emotionally fragile son was put in residential centers until he was assualted so bad the police had to be called and ordered the angency to approve him going home with me. He is still disabled to this day. My oldest son is surviving ok, but experiencing great issues in girlfriend relationships even though he was raised by friends of mine who just at the time were the 'safest' but still there was great emotional/psychological harm because people don't know how to raise children with unconditional love and real respect. Our County has done reports and seemed to sort of wonder at the number of children returning home to their birth families once they reach 18. I know MANY MAMY of us that survived and many are awaiting the day their lost babies turn 18 so they might know that they survived where the state put them. Foster Care is abusing our nations children and seperating families. Even with her Amom, my baby was abused by a step father who is out of the picture and ALL her problems are laid out as to her adoption and me when there's plenty other reasons for this girls problems. I can just sit and await the day she can freely associate with our whole family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-5768784308150934552011-11-24T12:58:23.043-05:002011-11-24T12:58:23.043-05:00Years ago when the RC Church pedophile scandal bro...Years ago when the RC Church pedophile scandal broke, I made the observation that whilst everyone was condemning the priests, that a far larger scandal was just waiting to break - youth sports.<br /><br />Our American middle-class society is infatuated with youth sports - soccer, swimming, basketball, football, you name it. I spent years as a youth couch in baseball, swimming, etc both before and while I had kids. Not ONCE was I ever background checked that I know of! Parents are far too trusting that organizations are properly vetting the adults they entrust their children to.<br /><br />Pedophiles are not stupid - they know how to present a profile that elicits respect from peers and admiration from children. They are attracted to careers and volunteer activities that bring them into close, trusting, authoritarian relationships with potential victims. Teaching, Scouting, coaching, ministry, all are fertile opportunities for predators to hunt for the vulnerable children out there. Parents, be suspicious of all who you entrust your kids to and demand thorough background vetting. And don't allow your children to be alone in situations with people as trusted as even a Penn State coach and charity president.d28bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05866860173755756630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-30675693256865189662011-11-18T08:46:08.311-05:002011-11-18T08:46:08.311-05:00Courtesy of James Marsh's Childlaw blog, an in...Courtesy of James Marsh's Childlaw blog, an interview with Dr. Eli Newberger in which he really gets to the heart of the matter:<br />http://www.childlaw.us/2011/11/dr-eli-newberger-on-penn-state.htmlHeavenstoBetsynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-80952814789691099032011-11-17T07:19:34.593-05:002011-11-17T07:19:34.593-05:00Heavens To Betsy, Yikes!!!
Do follow those links...Heavens To Betsy, Yikes!!! <br /><br />Do follow those links, folks, and you will see how pervs stick together. Sandusky's lawyer is a dirty old man who got a 17 year old pregnant when he was 49. No wonder he thinks what his buddy did was just "being a jock". I wonder if he was the lawyer for the adoptions?<br /><br />The one link, Child Law, is an excellent resource for all sorts of abuses of children in adoption. James Marsh was the lawyer for Masha, the Russian girl adopted by a single pedophile and used for porn. Even he is speechless with this latest revelation.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-10078122806425238412011-11-16T21:22:58.864-05:002011-11-16T21:22:58.864-05:00About Sandusky's lawyer:
http://www.childlaw...About Sandusky's lawyer: <br /><br />http://www.childlaw.us/2011/11/barely-legal-in-pa.html<br /><br />http://www.thedaily.com/page/2011/11/14/111511-news-sandusky-lawyer-teen-web/HeavenstoBetsynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-27491771452798519932011-11-16T20:06:56.973-05:002011-11-16T20:06:56.973-05:00Maryanne wrote:"And what about those adopted ...Maryanne wrote:"And what about those adopted kids in his home? Is anyone looking into that?"<br /><br />None of the news stories I have heard have mentioned anything about how he was able to become an adoptive parent. I'd say a few social workers and the others involved have some serious explaining to do.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-39001303354307428122011-11-16T19:53:32.851-05:002011-11-16T19:53:32.851-05:00Sandusky claims he was just
being a jock and &quo...Sandusky claims he was just <br />being a jock and "horsing around" with kids in the shower, no harm meant. What a lying, sleazy, disgusting pedophile pervert! It is all over the news, google it.<br /><br />Sorry, no jocks I know take showers with little boys. <br /><br />Too bad they do not still draw and quarter offenders, that would be about right for Sandusky. Or just let the mothers of the kids he raped at him. <br /><br />Also, why hasn't his wife shot him yet? It is what I'd do. And what about those adopted kids in his home? Is anyone looking into that?maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-44525904371657887932011-11-16T12:13:22.351-05:002011-11-16T12:13:22.351-05:00Lorraine wrote:" we all had sex."
Right...Lorraine wrote:" we all had sex."<br /><br />Right!! That is the only commonality among women who got pregnant and surrendered. Flush all those bogus theories about what was wrong with us in particular, or our families or our lives, and you are left with we all had sex and we got caught. We were not all flawed in some similar way that made this happen, although like all humans we have our own individual flaws. The system we fell into is where the common flaw lies.<br /><br />Additionally I think it naive to expect some kind of mystic sisterhood or understanding of each others motives and feelings years later just because we all surrendered a child. Yes, we had this one experience in common, but we came to it from such different places and with such different temperaments and lives that it is unlikely that we have a great deal in common beside being mothers who surrendered.<br /><br />So we have mothers who care and love deeply, always have, search for their kids, mothers who blocked it out and then woke up, mothers who live in fear of contact,for good reason and for selfish reasons, and some who just never gave a shit. I do not think we can all be expected to understand each other or feel some sort of motherly magic sisterhood for all surrendering mothers.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-73482087837471271672011-11-14T18:46:57.454-05:002011-11-14T18:46:57.454-05:00Jenn: I just tried to post at Lost Daughters but g...Jenn: I just tried to post at Lost Daughters but got the error message. Your story made me feel so sad. Hang in there, maybe your mother will come around.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-84666108117240608462011-11-14T15:41:07.837-05:002011-11-14T15:41:07.837-05:00Lori,
Both we molested by Step dads. Long term
hu...Lori,<br /><br />Both we molested by Step dads. Long term<br />husbands. One was allowed to stay in family.<br />Mine was not allowed to stay he was gone <br />as soon as I found out. Mine was married to<br />me when my sis told us. She came to live with<br />us. Guess he thought I would accept him doing <br />that.<br /><br />GGGGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55759335340229324882011-11-14T15:31:14.196-05:002011-11-14T15:31:14.196-05:00At a conference once I was asked by an earnest and...At a conference once I was asked by an earnest and young social worker if I had seen any commonality among women who surrendered their children. Florence and I almost laughed in her face.<br /><br />I said Yes, we all had sex.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-59886586955451195642011-11-14T10:08:49.661-05:002011-11-14T10:08:49.661-05:00@GG, one question. Was the husband biologically r...@GG, one question. Was the husband biologically related to the daughter? It doesn't sound like she is.... which also supports that strangers are more likely to abuse a child - strangers being used broadly to define non-biological relatives. Or, in the least people that are not closely related to a child....Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-71364573765873941192011-11-13T08:23:13.055-05:002011-11-13T08:23:13.055-05:00We each have our stories and things in our lives t...We each have our stories and things in our lives that led to surrendering a child, and for some, childhood abuse might play a part. For those that it did, that is a double burden.<br /><br />But having known a great many mothers who surrendered, especially those who surrendered when such large numbers of us did, I have not seen one commonality that pertains to all, abuse or any other factor, in our lives before surrender. What I have seen is women who came from every sort of family, rich, poor, middle class, loving, average, abusive. Our one commonality is that we all ended up surrendering a child. Beyond that our lives before were as different as any random group of women of the same age.<br /><br />The adoption industry certainly used what was there and weak in many of us to obtain surrenders, but it was not abuse for me or many others, who had normal, even over-protected childhoods. <br /><br />There were many paths to surrender, but basically, we were girls and women who had sex and "got caught", as many of our peers who did the same thing did not, and we did not have an offer of marriage or suitable mate to make for the "shotgun wedding" many others were saved by. So we rode along the conveyor belt to the next stop, surrender and adoption.<br /><br />There was a great deal of Freudian crap written around the 50s as to <br />"why" we got pregnant, and it all had to do with blaming the mother as somehow damaged and different from others who did not get pregnant. She needed "fixing". So they fixed us, and got our kids.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70696256197164325532011-11-12T21:45:06.876-05:002011-11-12T21:45:06.876-05:00Anyone else note the irony of Sandusky's book ...Anyone else note the irony of Sandusky's book being titled, "Touched"? <br /><br />Gross.<br /><br />Anon 1:57 said, <i>"I really feel this had something to do with my surrendering my son for adoption years later."</i><br /><br />Yes, yes it did. I know there aren't (m)any scientific studies backing up my intuitive hunch, but I believe abuse sets a young woman up to be victimized again by the adoption industry. She is first victimized by her abuser and already feels like a pile of crap about herself and her life. Once she discovers she is pregnant, she is victimized a second time by the adoption industry with their forked tongue purveyors. She falls right into their trap, so carefully laid by well-funded agencies and is stripped of her child and her motherhood because she feels unworthy and undeserving, feelings that have their genesis in the abuse. The adoption industry plays (or is that preys?) upon these fears in expectant mothers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-48579316892549455452011-11-12T16:15:24.103-05:002011-11-12T16:15:24.103-05:00Our lives begin to end the day we become silent ab...Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.<br />Martin Luther King, Jr.<br /><br />RobinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47466589694921113602011-11-12T15:43:18.624-05:002011-11-12T15:43:18.624-05:00I have this in my family. My mom found out my sist...I have this in my family. My mom found out my sister was being molested by her husband. She was so upset but after all the upsetness disappeared she stayed with him. My sister went to live with me and my husband she was uprooted at 17 yes old while molester stayed in family. I feel my mom could have took a stand against this sick secret.<br />Years later when my husband was found to be a molester of my own daughter. I kicked him out, divorced him, my daughter was out of house and married. I still have no pity for molesters no matter who they are or how important.<br />If society would look at these predators with the same scrutiny we were judged by maybe there would not be so many victims.<br /><br />GgGGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-54974127483977661662011-11-12T14:08:27.215-05:002011-11-12T14:08:27.215-05:00Anonymous @November 12, 2011 1:57 PM
Cluelessness...Anonymous @November 12, 2011 1:57 PM<br /><br />Cluelessness and child abuse go hand in hand, particularly when the abuser is a professional or wealthy/influential. A doctor in my community was tried and convicted of abusing boys (through scouting and providing services to poor delinquents). The judge over turned the verdict. After all ... how could this important man be guilty of something attested to by "no one" boys? How can those boys ever believe in justice?SameOldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02824386757349786724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-61964062689854913572011-11-12T13:59:06.667-05:002011-11-12T13:59:06.667-05:00Long (years) after Paterno and others KNEW about S...Long (years) after Paterno and others KNEW about Sandusky's proclivities and the source of his victims, they continued to provide legitimacy. In fact right up until the man was arrested, all was wonderful in JoePa land. From that background I draw the inference that Sandusky was protected because he had "things" on people and he provided sex. Everyone who was anyone was involved in Sandusky's charity. Paterno is still on the board.<br /><br />I hope there isn't any more coverup. There were mounds of evidence in 1998 and the case went away. That's why it isn't being handled in Centre County, but rather at the state level. I don't have a lot of love for Gov. Corbett; however, I think he is right with this do far.SameOldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02824386757349786724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-43745065869549221632011-11-12T13:57:12.918-05:002011-11-12T13:57:12.918-05:00This blog is too sad and horrible One poster menti...This blog is too sad and horrible One poster mentioned it was 'triggering'. I was not in foster care or abused by anyone in my family, but I was just one time sexually abused by a doctor when I was 9(similar to these poor young boys) and I know how profoundly my life was changed. When my mother brought me home I wouldn't sit down or eat anything that day, developed anorexia to the point they thought I would die , so my mother took me on a train ride to Florida and slowly I recovered,first just eating butter pecan ice cream and cottage cheese, then other things. My Dad took me to a psychiatrist and when I wouldn't talk and just wanted to play checkers every visit he told my Dad he was wasting his money and I probably was just afraid of getting chubby.How clueless was he. Anyway, I went from being a happy normal kid to a very strange one. So last night I couldn't sleep either waking up thinking about this. I really feel this had something to do with my surrendering my son for adoption years later.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-71848188813412013542011-11-12T09:06:48.081-05:002011-11-12T09:06:48.081-05:00What I see as the real horror here is that Sandusk...What I see as the real horror here is that Sandusky set up and was using his "Second Mile" charity to select his child victims. Raping little boys under the guise of "helping" foster and troubled kids. It does not get lower or more premeditated than that. As Lori mentioned, foster care is rife with abuse and it is chilling that Sandusky was an adoptive and foster father. I hope his family will be honestly investigated.<br /><br />Yes, this is much akin to the Catholic pedophile coverup, as Jon Stewart so aptly pointed out in his piece on "the religion of football" and the similarities of coverup and hierarchy.<br /><br />On a very ironic note, Angels in Adoption has rescinded Sandusky's Angel award, in an attempt at damage control for their questionable organization. I wonder, do they now send him a cheesy little Devil lapel pin and demand back their Angel? <br /><br />I concur with previous posters that no punishment is too bad for pedophiles. Hang 'em high, at least.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-88386594760678494402011-11-11T19:34:54.281-05:002011-11-11T19:34:54.281-05:00The Sandusky story is horrific. The incidents of a...The Sandusky story is horrific. The incidents of abuse of children by adoptive parents reported here are also horrific...but keep in mind that children living in institutions and group homes vs adoptive family are also at extremely high risk for abuse of every sort. My adopted daughter was physically and sexually abused in her orphanage. One of her tormentors was an older child -- for the first two years in the US, she was terrified we might run into him because he'd also been adopted and come to the US. There are many cases of orphanages in foreign countries "pimping out" children to other adults, much like the outrageous abuses at Penn State.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-21075015587497131292011-11-11T18:15:08.031-05:002011-11-11T18:15:08.031-05:00Most of society still thinks that any child given ...Most of society still thinks that any child given up for adoption will get a secure and loving home. That anyone who has such a heart that s/he would take a child not biologically related into their home must be a candidate for sainthood. Stories like this will tragically most likely be written off as anomalies. And adoption will still be pushed as a win-win-win.<br /><br />My heart breaks in a million pieces when I think of these children who already have endured the excruciating pain of being given away and then find themselves living in hell.<br /><br />RobinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-14896645626743627462011-11-11T18:01:38.243-05:002011-11-11T18:01:38.243-05:00Thank you Lorraine for this blog, and sorry that y...Thank you Lorraine for this blog, and sorry that your own daughter was also abused. <br /><br />The rampant abuse in adoption must be addressed. Society is lied to continually that it is "forever safe" and all the rest of the nonsense from the baby brokers as well as adopters. <br /><br />If anything as there is so much abuse in adoption society needs to be all the more aware for adopted kids and fostered kids too. <br /><br />This case is horrific but no surprise. Also there is no question that as this vile, disgusting piece of crap pedophile was an adopter it enabled him all the more. People saint adopters and they need to stop as that alone provides them with a guise. <br /><br />He should burn in hell for all of it too. He also fostered children, and on average these sick pedophile agents of hell can molest and rape up to 100-200 children and more in many cases. I suggest a cheap bullet to solve the problem!Annenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-33329015595924806482011-11-11T16:12:04.112-05:002011-11-11T16:12:04.112-05:00This whole story is extremely sickening. And trigg...This whole story is extremely sickening. And triggering.<br /><br />I too was sexually abused when I was supposed to be living a "better life". And this abuser later when on to rape his adopted daughter as well. <br /><br />What I think should be done to child rapists isn't fit for printing.elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09384756673501569994noreply@blogger.com