tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post8400184028555730332..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: How to influence lawmakers to reform adoption law Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19841279459428980432014-04-26T16:28:59.518-04:002014-04-26T16:28:59.518-04:00Thanks for your response, Tiffany. I realize I pr...Thanks for your response, Tiffany. I realize I probably wasn't clear about what I was asking. Of course anybody can look for whomever or whatever they want to find, you always have a right to search, but my question was about the right to access information. <br /><br />My son's two older siblings were also placed in adoptive homes. Each of those adoptive homes have chosen to keep their adoptions closed. Both those adoptive families were contacted for potential placement of our son with them (so siblings could stay together) but they both declined, saying they did not want to adopt another child. So Lenny ended up getting placed with us. We asked if either or both families would like to be in contact with us (since we are raising their children's biological sibling) and they declined. We (my husband and I) have no right to know the identities of the other two adoptive families as they wish to remain confidential, but I recall hearing somewhere that my son has the right to find out who adopted his siblings, when he comes of age.<br /><br />My son is only 5 right now, and we do not intend to initiate a search for his siblings - we will leave that for him to decide. But I'd like to know if he has the right to obtain the identities of the adoptive families who adopted his siblings, if he does decide to look for them some day. I have a fair amount of information regarding his biological parents, but zero information regarding the other two adoptive families.<br /><br />I think the sibling issue has been a lot on my mind of late because Lenny's half-brother should be turning 18 very soon, and his half-sister is not that far behind. I wonder if they will try to look for their little brother? I get excited/nervous just thinking about the possibility!Jay Iyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592280612055255470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-20043108591128936862014-04-25T18:20:47.331-04:002014-04-25T18:20:47.331-04:00Jay, I'm sorry, but I do not. My daughter doe...Jay, I'm sorry, but I do not. My daughter doesn't have any siblings (yet) so it's not something I would have really thought about. <br /><br />I don't think anyone has any legal "rights" in this search process, but more knowledgeable people may correct me. In a state with closed records, no "non-contact" forms have been signed. So if someone chooses to search for a relative, that is not illegal. Anyone can search for anyone at any time. My high school boyfriend could theoretically search me out and show up on my doorstep (not that he would). Obviously, adoptees seeking reunions are more tactful than that, but one of the arguments for opening records is that there is no legal protection offered to citizens preventing another person from contacting them (obviously this doesn't include persons with restraining orders). <br /><br />If you are able to find any info to try to search, then it's worth considering. In your position, I'm not sure what I would do. I *think* I would wait until my child was older and could be a part of the decision to search. But that's just a general thought, and given more situation particulars, it might be best to search now... it really depends, and I'm not sure there is a single right answer.Tiffanynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-26555592359476302322014-04-24T15:04:15.705-04:002014-04-24T15:04:15.705-04:00Dear Jane and Tiffany,
Jane thank you for your ve...Dear Jane and Tiffany,<br /><br />Jane thank you for your very valuable guidelines on how to go about seeking adoption reform.<br /><br />Tiffany, I really appreciate your research on the proposed bill. I have limited time outside of work these days, and the information you dug up sets the groundwork for me as well (since we also live in California). Thank you!<br /><br />On a related matter, Tiffany, do you know anything at all about the rights of an adoptee, under California law, to seek out his/her biological siblings? My son has two biological siblings, much older, who were adopted out to other families - they are closed adoptions so we have absolutely no information about them. I recall hearing something from a social worker about my son's rights to access the information about his biological siblings when he turns 18. Do you know anything about this? Jay Iyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592280612055255470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-34207800552532790792014-04-24T14:23:45.633-04:002014-04-24T14:23:45.633-04:00I'm sorry for my confusion, Tiffany. Adoptive ...I'm sorry for my confusion, Tiffany. Adoptive parents are important, if not more important, advocates for opening records.<br /><br />Law makers will listen to you!Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-67539125726888498712014-04-24T14:06:35.523-04:002014-04-24T14:06:35.523-04:00Thanks, Jane! That is really helpful! I will get...Thanks, Jane! That is really helpful! I will get started on that and let you know how it goes.<br /><br />One correction, though, as I don't want to misrepresent myself. I'm an adoptive mother, not a first mother, but this is very close to my heart and important as I feel my daughter deserves equal rights with the rest of the population. I will never forget how hurt her first parents were when they found out about the sealing of the OBC, and it's infuriating to me that such ridiculous laws still exist to keep people from their own history.Tiffanynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38764808107696584032014-04-24T13:50:29.500-04:002014-04-24T13:50:29.500-04:00Thanks, Tiffany,
If I'm reading the bill corre...Thanks, Tiffany,<br />If I'm reading the bill correctly, it is a major change. It grants an "adopted child" of any age the right to see his court records and original birth certificate. <br /><br />You might call the bill's sponsor and see what you can do to help move the bill along. Also call or write the committee staff and ask them when the hearing will be scheduled and what you need to do to testify. If the hearing hasn't been scheduled, ask the staff to notify you of the hearing. They may slip up so keep checking the bill's status on the website. <br /><br />Also call you representative and tell the staffer who answers that you're a constituent and very interested in this bill.<br /><br />As far as your letter goes, tell them you live in City, California and you're a first mother who supports the bill and why. Then give them a short paragraph about your surrender, when, where, why. The letter should be less than a page.<br /><br />Let us know what happens.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-60226270876397424242014-04-24T11:24:47.760-04:002014-04-24T11:24:47.760-04:00I tracked down a bill that was submitted February ...I tracked down a bill that was submitted February 20 by Assemblyman Sebastian Ridley-Thomas. It's bill AB-2118. (see here for link: http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=201320140AB2118) The wording seems very basic and is updating the current law, which allows a court to decide whether to grant an adoptee access to the OBC, and makes it a matter of law that they can obtain it on reaching 18. I thought it seemed ok? It's currently been referred to the committee for it's first review, but who knows when that will happen.<br /><br />I'm working on a letter both to Ridley-Thomas and my own representative, and then I would like to expand and send to all the reps. If you have any tips on phrasing the letter, I would appreciate it. I would also like to encourage others to write in as well.Tiffanynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90452908731380396532014-04-24T01:12:29.843-04:002014-04-24T01:12:29.843-04:00Tiffany,
Thanks for writing.
I wasn't direc...Tiffany,<br />Thanks for writing. <br /><br />I wasn't directly involved in the California open records campaign but I did read about it. I was particularly interested because my surrendered daughter was born in San Francisco.<br /><br />The California bill was extremely complicated with many provisions which appeared unnecessary and drove up the cost. In Oregon, the measure granting adoptees access to their original birth certificates was less than half a page and the cost was nil.<br /><br />If you get involved in the California campaign--and I hope you do--insist upon a simple bill.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-72691111594407322182014-04-23T19:33:42.885-04:002014-04-23T19:33:42.885-04:00I've read this several times over the past cou...I've read this several times over the past couple days and really mulled over it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.<br /><br />I live in CA, and this post prompted me to do a little digging into any reform efforts going on now, which led me to the history of the last attempt to open records. The most recent effort was 2009, which stalled out due to cost. Nothing was done last year, which was the next opportunity (two year cycle) to take any steps. I'm going to do some more digging.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing this. All of us involved in adoption should care very much about changing these antiquated laws. One of my dearest hopes is that my daughter will have legal access to her OBC (not just a copy from us), but I need to do more than just hope for it to happen.Tiffanynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-57091532459098372302014-04-22T16:10:07.368-04:002014-04-22T16:10:07.368-04:00Jane, this is an honest depiction of the hard work...Jane, this is an honest depiction of the hard work, commitment, and political savvy it takes to get legislation passed. It is not just writing letters, telling our stories, or signing petitions. There is no quick or easy way. Politics is difficult and not everyone has the aptitude or guts for it. <br /><br />Sad that there are no comments on this blog piece that contains hard truth for all of us.maryannenoreply@blogger.com