tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post1158646132328170180..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Coming out of the closet as a birthmother: To Tell the Truth...Or Not?Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-77312889538008808802009-05-04T02:31:00.000-04:002009-05-04T02:31:00.000-04:00I don't tell people that i'm a birthmother. societ...I don't tell people that i'm a birthmother. society is mean. they judge and only i know what birthmother really means and most people just don't get it, so welcome judgement by sharing the truth.<br /><br />i love the picture at the front of your blog. it warms my heart.Janellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11249317805792873084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-59108134478979365962009-04-28T11:38:00.000-04:002009-04-28T11:38:00.000-04:00Oh you know me so well Kippa, yes my closet is act...Oh you know me so well Kippa, yes my closet is actually a sunny, well-appointed pied-a'-terre with classic fir floors. I am not stuffed between winter coats choking on moth balls.<br /><br />It doesn't mean that I can't discuss or have an opinion on all things adopted, experience has taught me though that my story is not for public consumption, at least with the IRL crowd.joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15658928829424953809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70035122855246008042009-04-27T19:04:00.000-04:002009-04-27T19:04:00.000-04:00I tell some people and don't tell others as the mo...I tell some people and don't tell others as the mood strikes me, or if I fear that the person will react negatively, I don't tell. <br /><br />During the long period my son was not communicating with me, I was less and less likely to say how many kids I really have, or to talk about being a birthmother. I did not have a happy story to tell and was ashamed of having been rejected. As he has come around a bit, I'm more likely to just tell people, especially right after I hear from him again.<br /><br />Like Denise, I HAVE been lauded for giving up a child, often followed by "aren't you wonderful, unselfish, brave.....I could NEVER do that." Gee thanks!:-( Much better to just hear "I'm sorry" or "that must have been hard." Followed of course by happiness that I have found and met him. That is the appropriate response, and sometimes I do get it, much to my relief! But the bad response still makes me shrink up inside and want to disappear.<br /><br />I do feel some things are private between the parties involved and close friends, and that each mother must use her own judgment and comfort level on who to tell about the surrender and reunion, and how much.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-16954427064054147412009-04-27T11:25:00.000-04:002009-04-27T11:25:00.000-04:00Provocative header. Just sayin'.
I'm so with Joy ...Provocative header. Just sayin'.<br /> I'm so with Joy and Angelle (though I imagine Joy's closet to be more like a rather airy apartment, possibly with window boxes and a balcony).<br />I really don't think it is incumbent on a mother to "tell all" in order to be "out of the closet". <br />There's a great deal of information relating to any adoption that belongs first and foremost to those most closely connected to the experience. Their wishes and needs are of primary importance and deserve to be considered with respect.<br />I really do believe there are situations where "discretion is the better part of valor". <br />Not that I've always managed, of course. <br />But I strive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-3660100150988583042009-04-27T09:05:00.000-04:002009-04-27T09:05:00.000-04:00I see no need to share my birth mother status and ...I see no need to share my birth mother status and reunion with anyone except my family. <br /><br />Before my reunion I had a long life. It is painful that over the years I have watched friends form negative opinions about other people, and that has given me pause. <br /><br />I will not put my son or myself in that position. It is no one's business. <br /><br />We are still sorting how this will all work out. Our relationship has been difficult for his amom. <br /><br />I will continue to proceed with caution.Angellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02400662014485775139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-34584717739899745402009-04-27T08:14:00.000-04:002009-04-27T08:14:00.000-04:00I just found your blog and wanted to thank you for...I just found your blog and wanted to thank you for your honesty and openness. I'll be coming back.RJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01322915016744051624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-73809992081507954052009-04-26T15:32:00.000-04:002009-04-26T15:32:00.000-04:00I am an in the closet adoptee, I feel no obligatio...I am an in the closet adoptee, I feel no obligation to reveal private aspects of my life to anyone but the most intimate friends.joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15658928829424953809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-68448473061369341402009-04-25T12:47:00.000-04:002009-04-25T12:47:00.000-04:00Linda, When I don't reveal that I am a birthmother...Linda, When I don't reveal that I am a birthmother, it's because I don't want to be lauded. I hate that! Usually from adoptive parents, people who know a-parents, and those with no connection to adoption. "Oh, but you did the right thing." Gag me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-5485276276541521412009-04-25T05:07:00.000-04:002009-04-25T05:07:00.000-04:00http://adoptionbirthparentsreunion.wordpress.com/2...http://adoptionbirthparentsreunion.wordpress.com/2009/02/21/birthmother-reunion-nightmare-first-meeting-after-30-years/<br /><br />u might wanna check that out. i am an adoptee. my birthmother reunion didn't go well. i never spoke to my birthmother for 2 years now since she & i first met.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com