tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post2114571831459541251..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Memories of the missing child you can't erase at ChristmasLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-73380638929078080212019-01-05T08:16:08.082-05:002019-01-05T08:16:08.082-05:00To the first lady that replied to me I want to say...To the first lady that replied to me I want to say don't give up hope completely your first daughter might change her mind some day if not her then her children may want to know you and their roots. Until someone dies its not over. In spite of how painful it must be make yourself "easy" to find through DNA and family trees, and registries. I hope your daughter comes around some adoptees wait until their adopted parents pass to search/reunite.<br />To Yosemite yes cousins are awesome. Don't give up hope sometimes it takes a long time for people to accept and process that they have been found by their relinquished child. I hope someday you get a close family match where you took your DNA test at. Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17309616784284197694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19749774303514141642019-01-01T16:06:12.895-05:002019-01-01T16:06:12.895-05:00My cousins are the only ones that responded to me....My cousins are the only ones that responded to me. They took the DNA test. They tell me merry christmas. Cousins are awesome. yosemitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00013672978685436594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-59308996238237180402018-12-24T10:09:19.051-05:002018-12-24T10:09:19.051-05:00Have a lovely holiday Lorraine. I'm spending ...Have a lovely holiday Lorraine. I'm spending mine with family who I know love and appreciate me. And I'm holding in my heart the family whose hearts are strained and stained from this experience. And I'm finally learning to let go, not chasing and accepting that they are not in the same place as I am and so must make the journey at their own pace. I spent time with lovely and dear friends last night at a house party that included the aged, the infirm and the young and hopeful with music provided by a choir that first sang at her family's home 59 years ago - the Temperley Singers - which actually included one of the original members and his daughter but now includes new generations. Regeneration it's called, and from our wounded hearts we can reach out to others, as you suggested, and help heal their hurts and at the same time help to heal our own. Pamela M. Salelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12398730332287863739noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-68007870649382643772018-12-23T08:53:11.201-05:002018-12-23T08:53:11.201-05:00Why is it that it is it that those of us who want ...Why is it that it is it that those of us who want to reunite often find the ones we lost do not? <br /><br />I know your mother's pain. But, what I wouldn't give to have my own daughter want to reunite and have some relationship. But, now that I have been rejected, that door has closed. There is no need for it. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14362313380734805015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-2957219829335214462018-12-21T21:33:37.805-05:002018-12-21T21:33:37.805-05:00Great articleGreat articleDebrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17594837464575536378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-29440142324411107702018-12-21T13:12:33.377-05:002018-12-21T13:12:33.377-05:00I am a reunited adoptee. My birthday is very close...I am a reunited adoptee. My birthday is very close to Christmas. And I remember...oh how I remember...the rain pelting the windows on Christmas and on my birthday and I would look through the rain and ask to the wind does she remember me? Does she remember this day? Is it remembered as a relief that she was rid of a problem and could move on or is it with some small regret? And we met. Over time I found that although she cares about me, it is not like a daughter. I am something else. The children she raised she refers to as "my kids" or "my family". I am not sure what I am to her.<br />But her voice calls to my heart, as familiar as my own. It is almost easier to not be in her presence, to just hear her voice.<br />My parents never celebrated my birthday. It was inconvenient being so close to Christmas. They celebrated the day they got me, in February. Some years they might remind me on my birthday that they would celebrate in February. And later they might remember, my mother might forget. Daddy always remembered.<br />So much of Christmas is about loss to me. My first mother's other daughter does not like the idea of me, she wants to be the only daughter, and so my first mother still hides, although everyone knows the truth. It is an unhappy weakness in my first mother.<br /><br />So yes, Merry Christmas to you all, and to her and to them. She really did give me away.<br />SusanO. Susan Moseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09017894335164502318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-35579879711208892802018-12-21T10:29:36.978-05:002018-12-21T10:29:36.978-05:00The wages of adoption such an appropriate phrase i...The wages of adoption such an appropriate phrase indeed for all of us in the triad. I am an adoptee who was rejected by her first mother before DNA then I found her again through testing a couple of years ago. I find great comfort in the relationships I have formed with my maternal cousins. That would be my advice look for other relationships in the family if you have been rejected by your first parent. Growing up our cousins are often our first friends.<br />Also, I agree with Lo if it is in your heart or on your mind to try reaching out again do so. You really have nothing to lose if the person still doesn't respond then you won't be surprised or as hurt since you have seen this behavior before.<br /><br />I'm not crazy about this season either, I keep reminding myself its only one day and this to shall pass.<br /><br />Thank your for your comforting words Lo, and Happy Holidays to you and yours from your friend in Florida.<br /><br />Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17309616784284197694noreply@blogger.com