tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post2668673537770417609..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Fight over adoptee rights in NJ continues--time to make your voice heardLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-12935919230322081812011-01-17T19:32:06.640-05:002011-01-17T19:32:06.640-05:00Thank you Lorraine and Maryanne for answering the ...Thank you Lorraine and Maryanne for answering the question I posed. I really appreciate it! I really hope and believe adoptees' civil rights arguments will one day overcome the opposition's arguments re: abortion and privacy. I just hope the day comes soon.Meredithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-78530922662603312962011-01-15T14:55:41.210-05:002011-01-15T14:55:41.210-05:00Opps, I should have made note of this:
Beth and I...Opps, I should have made note of this:<br /><br />Beth and I were in touch as she left her contact information in a comment and we have talked. I presume her well-crafted letter with links has already gone to the assembywoman she has been talking to in Montana.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-5731049176556557602011-01-15T13:46:01.096-05:002011-01-15T13:46:01.096-05:00@ Beth
A copy of the Maine bill would be a good p...@ Beth<br /><br />A copy of the Maine bill would be a good place to start. <br /><br />I have lots of resources but it would be easier if you contacted me directly at joymadsen21@yahoo.comjoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15658928829424953809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-17661024075996100952011-01-13T14:15:22.955-05:002011-01-13T14:15:22.955-05:00Cedar wondered about women who refuse to reunite w...Cedar wondered about women who refuse to reunite with their found children and at the same time lobby against open records. <br />That has got me musing too.<br /><br />As a reunited as well as adoptive mother who actively supports open records, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around what kind of creatures these women could possibly be. It simply makes no sense at all.<br /><br />Can it be that they are just figments of other people's disordered imaginations?<br /><br />HaighaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38057070452988097642011-01-12T16:06:24.410-05:002011-01-12T16:06:24.410-05:00There are two questions I often have about women w...There are two questions I often have about women who supposedly are too scared to reunite with their lost children to the point of lobbying to keep records closed:<br /><br />1 -- are they also adoptive mothers who wish to keep their adoptive children from reuniting, or have set the tone in their homes that us 'breeders' are so worthless that they are scared/ashamed of their adopted children finding out that they are "fallen women" too?<br /><br />2 -- Is it actually their child they need protection from, or is it in fact anticipated emotional abuse, emotional blackmail, or rejection of their current family members that they need protection from? <br /><br />I have seen mothers fit into both categories, but neither circumstance is any reason to keep records closed, when a family counsellor could help with both.Cedarhttp://adoptioncritic.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56762978665085626302011-01-12T16:01:43.999-05:002011-01-12T16:01:43.999-05:00I really just wanted to write an email to you aski...I really just wanted to write an email to you asking for some help, but couldn't find a link for that so here's a comment. Please feel free to edit or not publish it.<br /><br />On 1/29/90 I became a first mother too. On 1/29/10 I joined CUB and focused my activism in this realm. My early attempts to help prevent teen pregnancy were hindered by being a first mother willing to speak about the trauma of adoption. <br /><br />Shortly after joining CUB I found myself joining AAC too and a few months after that I became the state representative for MT. I became a regular reader starting about then - Sept. this year.<br /><br />I had planned to be a slowly but surely kind of activist since I have a busy life raising three boys, working part time, other community service etc. etc. However, sometimes the doors open and it's best to walk through them. So here I am at the point. <br /><br />I need help because I have a MT house rep. willing to submit a bill for open records, but no confidence in the material I can create. I need it done in a day or two - crazy how these things happen. I was just planting seeds talking to people and here we are. Next opportunity to change MT laws is 2013 so I wanted to move forward. <br /><br />I spoke with an ACLU staff member here and I learned that ACLU state chapters have plenty of room to disagree on issues. Apparently, the staff member I spoke with felt adoptees should be treated as complete citizens too.<br /><br />Any support is welcome. Apparently the legislative staff help representatives draft the actual bill. What I need is good written material stating what needs to be done. I'm going to put something together now - would really love a proof reader. Maybe that will be my next comment submitted. <br /><br />wish me luck.<br />~beth of mtbeth in mtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-65519966713722608962011-01-12T13:28:26.572-05:002011-01-12T13:28:26.572-05:00Meredith:
The reason GIVEN for denying adopted in...Meredith:<br /><br />The reason GIVEN for denying adopted individuals their full rights as a citizen is to "protect the first mother, protect the birth mother" in the closet. You know, the one who will drive their car in the river in their son or daughter contacts them. Even if the people who say this believe it, the few who deny recognition to their own flesh and blood should not have the right to be the final arbiter of civil rights for adoptees. Theirs is a specious argument.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-49493949959754374952011-01-12T08:11:47.116-05:002011-01-12T08:11:47.116-05:00Meridith, in Jersey it is all about abortion, and ...Meridith, in Jersey it is all about abortion, and under that, Catholic Charities' incompetence, cruelty, and lies. It is not unlike the pedophile scandal and Bishop cover-ups. In fact, the groups opposing us are the Council of Catholic Bishops, and NJ Right to Life headed by Marie Tasie (sp?) a fanatic who has got it in her head that open records mean more abortions, and can't get it out even when we have proved again and again that this is not true.<br /><br />The Catholic Church has big legislative influence in NJ. In the West, the Mormons, a small group with no influence here, are the major players. Look what they did with Prop 8 (prop Hate) against gay marriage in CA. Rank and file Catholics and most parish priests either have no opinion on adoptee rights or are in favor, some Catholic Charities workers have testified in our favor, but the Bishops are the big guns who influence the legislators, and want to keep their power to cover up secrets, lies, and abuse, whether it be pedophiles or adoption abuse.<br /><br />I spoke to a survivor or priest abuse, and he immediately "got it" that opposition to adoptee rights and openness in adoption came from the same place. Anything about sex must be made dirty and secret, not rooted out and corrected but covered by deeper layers of lies.<br /><br />Generally when the Bishops say "jump" in New Jersey, the politicians say "how high"? It is a discouraging situation.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23599512701582949942011-01-11T21:53:50.627-05:002011-01-11T21:53:50.627-05:00Thank you for posting this insightful analysis, in...Thank you for posting this insightful analysis, including examples of stakeholders who are opposed to granting adoptees these rights. I didn't realize the NJ bar ass'n, some ACLU chapters, and some religious groups had lined up against adoptee rights. That's so discouraging, but that was a great excerpt advocating for equal protection and freedom of ass'n. I would be curious to read an example of a religious argument against granting adoptees rights to their OBCs. Maybe it's economically motivated, in terms of the adoption "ministries" subsidized by churches, or related to fears about abortion...Meredithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70212127524637299172011-01-11T16:45:31.785-05:002011-01-11T16:45:31.785-05:00I have heard the very over-used saying that "...I have heard the very over-used saying that "politics is the art of compromise." I am not thinking compromise here, but alternatives. Is it possible for a "third option" to be proposed?Cedarhttp://adoptioncritic.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-65691943208901553852011-01-11T08:11:09.353-05:002011-01-11T08:11:09.353-05:00I think we are pretty much screwed here in Jersey,...I think we are pretty much screwed here in Jersey, no matter what. Christie will put his considerable weight (ever see a picture of the man?)behind the awful intermediary bill, and things will be worse than they were and unfixable.The only hope to kill it is the fiscal angle, as Christie is cutting funds for everything, including libraries and schools and vital town services like police and trash pickup.<br /><br />Clever tactic of our opponents to introduce their own lousy bill and pretend they "care" about everyone. Very sad ending to a long fight.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47378699450771190562011-01-10T17:50:59.085-05:002011-01-10T17:50:59.085-05:00I responded to Deborah Jacobs and Marie Tasy's...I responded to Deborah Jacobs and Marie Tasy's article over the weekend. My headline--in screaming capital letters--reads THIS BIRTHMOTHER DOES NOT WANT TO RETAIN HER PRIVACY!<br /><br />I am one of the "important stakeholders that our legislators don’t have the benefit of hearing from personally: birth mothers..."<br /><br />As I've said previously in letters to THE HOME NEWS TRIBUNE (8/3/04) and THE NEW YORK TIMES (January 7, 2007), I've been a birthmother for 34 years and I am the rule rather than the exception. I have never met or heard of a birthmother (well, just one--the birth mother in South Jersey) who doesn't dream of being reunited with her child.<br /><br />When I relinquished in 1976, privacy was the least of my concerns. In fact, I left a neon-colored trail of bread crumbs. Almost eleven years ago to the day, my daughter made one phone call to our adoption agency and we spoke for the first time that same evening.<br /><br />My daughter has said that finally knowing her personal history has helped her make sense of the many questions that went unanswered for 23 years. I would never have prevented her from obtaining the very information she needed to find her sense of self, nor should New Jersey legislators. <br /><br />Let's not waste one more day arguing. Allow adult adoptees the basic right that most of us take for granted: to have a copy of their original birth certificate. Support Bill A1406.<br /><br />Pam Hasagawa and the members of NJCare have fought this fight for over three decades now; I would have given up long ago. I've "retired" from nearly all things adoption since my daughter chose not to have a relationship over five years ago, but it was easy to speak out on this issue. Let's hope open records for adoptees finally becomes are reality in 2011.Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18192643286153380436noreply@blogger.com