tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post3380531869334430443..comments2024-03-14T17:59:30.786-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: To the mother and child, adoption is always painful Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90764646363745787722014-03-05T22:17:54.006-05:002014-03-05T22:17:54.006-05:00I too gave up my son he was two with a siezure dis...I too gave up my son he was two with a siezure disorder infantile spasms then progressed from there. I too feel like a horrible person but did not know how to help a child with these needs. He is niw 23 and noone will even answer if he is alive. The agency lied the whole time starting by taking him home with the director until they could find a home then about the adoptive family etc. I have been through serious bouts of depression etc and feel this plays a big part. If the adoptive family put him in a home what harm would there be me knowing if he turned around great and i would only pursue a visit if asked if he's passed what harm is it for me to know. Certwinly if he's in a state home maybe I could be his only visitor. I talked to a private investigator and she quoted 1500.00 to me that might as well be a million. I'm still doing my own research and hopefully I find something out. If you ever need to talk you can fb msg me at stef annie and ill msg or give you my number I don't sleep much so I could really use a person whose been there. Thanks again fb is first name stef last name annieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-86716000332582744312013-08-28T21:55:46.616-04:002013-08-28T21:55:46.616-04:00Since this is an old blog, I suggest you leave you...Since this is an old blog, I suggest you leave your question under the current blog. You will get answers from adoptees,...but yes, you have the right to search. I wrote a post on that, use the upper left search function and you should find it, but also leave a comment at current blog, just say, I know this is off topic...and make up a name for yourself anf use the Name selection, you don't need a url.<br />You are not alone.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90752771956321201292013-08-28T18:25:36.871-04:002013-08-28T18:25:36.871-04:00HI I have a question, I have been looking for my s...HI I have a question, I have been looking for my son now for awhile, but I have doubts now. After being told I gave up my rights being a mother the day he was born and I gave him up, it wasn't easy but I had to. Any ways couple of people I'm acquaintances with over heard and said I gave up my rights and don't have a right to just appear in his life give it up let it go they said. I'm not searching to barge into his life I don't even know if I will make communication I just want to know the basics is he happy and I'm sure the parents are it was hard to choose a family threw the agency but they stuck out. So really should I search or should I just give up and leave it be?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-14317302820620796312013-08-10T18:40:54.963-04:002013-08-10T18:40:54.963-04:00Oh, I so needed this. And I didn't even know ...Oh, I so needed this. And I didn't even know it.<br /><br />I became pregnant when I was 18 and in the military. Since the father didn't want to marry me or even claim our child, I felt like my options were limited. At that time (nearly 26 years ago), I didn't really think I had options. My mother mentioned abortion and I declined. I fantasized, briefly, about raising my child - but "knew" that was "irresponsible" - when there are "thousands of married couples who cannot have children waiting to adopt." The arrangements were made and I was told I was noble, strong and brave - and I felt like I was. Kind of. A few weeks before my son was born, I told my mom I was having second thoughts - she told me to quit...because "his parents have already decorated his room - you cannot do that to them." Even then - even when I still believed that the "honorable" thing to do - the "responsible" thing to do - the "loving" thing to do was give my baby away to a responsible, married couple...I still resented her telling me that.<br /><br />For years now I figured that it was the right thing to do - the responsible thing. It is only now...really recently...that I've begun to even allow myself to say - not even out loud and only in my head - that it was wrong. That I was wronged. That he was wronged. That I wish I had been braver and stronger...I have gone from feeling "noble" about this adoption to feeling like I failed my son in my very first task: to protect him and keep our family intact. (He is a wonderful young man - and was raised by wonderful parents. It's not that there was anything wrong with them. It is adoption I find fault with - and a culture that made me think I was unworthy of my son and that complete strangers were more worthy to raise him than I was.)<br /><br />I have never said any of this to anyone before. Thank you for the opportunity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-63630332229589792672013-07-20T08:08:49.565-04:002013-07-20T08:08:49.565-04:00I'm glad that there are some stories of happy,...I'm glad that there are some stories of happy, well-adjusted adults who were adopted as children. That gives me hope in my very dark place.<br /><br />I was told it would be better if I gave my daughter up for adoption, that I didn't fight the authorities, and my family encouraged me, too, giving the social worker as many negative details about me as they could.<br /><br />I was in my late twenties and a professional. My daughter was a bright beautiful toddler, and I had always felt that someone else could do far better than me. I was alone and unsupported and ended up with a problem with alcohol. By the time my daughter was finally placed by the authorities, I was a year sober, and it was too late. The adoption order had been granted, and any involvement by me would slow things down and make things worse for her.<br />I am over a year sober now, but still totally broken, I miss her every day, and hate myself for the things I have done. She is settled, now with her "distinguished and wealthy" new parents. The social worker seems to think these are the leading criteria. I am not distinguished, or wealthy, I am disabled, sad, and child-less. Soon her name with change and they can edit me out. Will she be traumatised? How can I know, I pray that she won't be, that she will never have to hurt or feel like this, and that if she lets me, I will be there in any way I can. Of course it hurts. But it is gone, and I hope that time will bring some balance, and some confidence.Sarahhttp://inmyfathersarms.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-44177290846369483902013-07-18T07:36:37.624-04:002013-07-18T07:36:37.624-04:00"Simply because a parent can give a child mor..."Simply because a parent can give a child more material things does not make that household a better environment for the child."<br /><br />Nor does it justify the child losing his or her biological connections, ancestral roots, family medical history, living with the people who look like him, have talents and interests like him, etc. Also, don't forget the potential psychological and emotional issues arising from having been given away. I realize that not all adoptees have these issues, but many do. Most (not all) people fit in better and feel a sense of belonging growing up in their original families than with genetic strangers.<br /><br />Of course, some children are born into dangerous environments and there will always be a need for adoption. But if biological connections were so unimportant, then why don't maternity wards just pass out babies willy nilly without any concern as to who the bio-parents are? Boy, would there be an outcry over that.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-36520323812126010272013-07-18T06:30:33.268-04:002013-07-18T06:30:33.268-04:00I have alot to say, so it will have to be done in ...I have alot to say, so it will have to be done in several comments. <br /><br />I agree that separation of mother and her son(s)/daughter(s), whether an adoption follows or not, ALWAYS is a traumatic tragedy, and <br /><br />that as is a natural/normal response to trauma, there is pain, to if not also the mother, ALWAYS to her separated son(s)/daughter(s). <br /><br />Babies do know pain, they do feel it, they just don't have the maturity to say "ow, I'm in pain". So for those who are trying to claim <br /><br />as if fact, that they experienced no loss, nor any sense of it, nor pain from it, from being separated from the only mother, the life <br /><br />bearing being, whom carried you, nourished you, the first, and most important years of your existence, you're mistaken, in denial, or <br /><br />lying.<br /><br />Do you not think that when as a baby, your birth alone, or any other physical procedures, or needles, for say vaccinations or <br /><br />medications, caused you no pain, and made you cry out because as a baby that was the only way you knew how to express pain? If you <br /><br />believe you felt no pain in any of that, you are either lying, or stupid.<br /><br />What you who scoff who espouse you are happy you were adopted, that you felt no pain, no loss, no depression, etc, while at the same <br /><br />time, praising the people who raised you, fail to understand/realize/recognize, the truth as it is, is that what you experienced was <br /><br />considered by your infant psyche as trauma, and people who experience trauma share similar experiences in how it affects them, and how <br /><br />they cope. See, for us humans, our initial response to trauma is to either flee, or fight against it. As immature children, you can't <br /><br />flee. You can't run away, to where your mother is, the one from whom you grew in, and were separated from. The one who is familiar to <br /><br />you, the one whom you naturally want to be with. And, you can't fight either, for reunification, because again, you're too immature <br /><br />and either can't express your demand for reunification, or you aren't listened to anyway. So what do you do? You do the only thing <br /><br />you can do. You resign yourself to your fate: that of living and being raised by, the people who have you, good or bad. See, we human <br /><br />beings aren't meant to exist alone, we're meant to form attachments with others - relationships, because it's what helps us be, to <br /><br />survive, and be healthy, mentally, emotionally, and physically. When we are separated from people we have an inherent bond with, <br /><br />relationship with, and we don't get reunited with them, especially when we're immature children who are controlled by adults, so we <br /><br />feel powerless, along with grief stricken, to cope, we learn to either accept the circumstance, attach to the replacement people, and <br /><br />be compliant, not wanting to ruffle any feathers that could potentially cause another loss, when you are in a grieving process, even <br /><br />if you lack the maturity to know that you are, because there is always grief when a human being loses someone significant to them, and <br /><br />they have a healthy psyche, one that wasn't damaged so that their neural pathways that are responsible for the functioning of empathy, <br /><br />were properly formed, and thus, functioning normally. However, the trauma of separation is most hard on children 5 years and younger, <br /><br />infants the worst, because of their lack of maturity, thus their empathy is affected. It could be minute to severe, depending on the <br /><br />response to their grief by whatever adults are in charge of caring for them. That is why, the better the adults, the more nurturing, <br /><br />affectionate, attentive, responsive, genuinely loving, the better the child fairs. <br />J.L.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47865013188050047782013-07-17T22:04:17.323-04:002013-07-17T22:04:17.323-04:00I'm quite tired, I wrote half the day, and the...I'm quite tired, I wrote half the day, and then wrote the new blog this evening, but I will simply say now: that if there are no outside compelling reasons--such as an abusive household where the child is in actual danger, or where the parents are addicts, etc.--the best place for a child is with her or his parents, the one she or he was born to. If an "adoption" must occur it should be open and honest right from the beginning, and the natural parents should stay involved to the best of their abilities, the birth certificate should not be altered. <br /><br />We have written about this extensively in the past in numerous blogs, and quoted the experts. See Our Response of the Adoption Option at the top of the blog where that is a permanent page. <br /><br />Simply because a parent can give a child more material things does not make that household a better environment for the child.<br /><br />And now--good night!Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56950549578138455742013-07-17T21:46:13.582-04:002013-07-17T21:46:13.582-04:00"Adoption is always painful."
It is not ..."Adoption is always painful."<br />It is not adoption itself that's the source of pain. It's the separation of mother and child, too often caused by powerlessness, rejection and shame.<br />I still think that women who say they made the best decision under the circumstances don't deserve to be second guessed. Surely it's possible put forward a different perspective without resorting to sick vindictive snarky comments like "It's nice to know you are content with your decision" (to a person who didn't say that or anything like it) or "Feel free to say you had all the information and still chose this horror for yourself and you child" (she didn't say that either). <br /> <br />Lorraine, could you please elaborate on your statement "Every adoption that can be prevented, should be"?<br />I do think Veronica Brown's adoption is terribly wrong and am very sad that her real "best interests" have been trampled on and ignored, but I would like to know more about what you mean by that statement. It seems uncompromising. Not all children are best served by staying or even maintaining contact with their original families. Some have even suffered for it. <br />Thank you in advance for your explanation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-84126041405019807852013-07-17T16:54:22.104-04:002013-07-17T16:54:22.104-04:00"I think the nurses trying to avoid BUFA deli..."I think the nurses trying to avoid BUFA deliveries says it all. I wish some one would write about that."<br /><br />I find this very interesting because I know several nurses and they all say that the maternity floor is their favorite place to work. For the most part the patients are healthy and it's a happy environment. Well, I guess, except for this awful fly in the ointment when mothers give their babies up.<br /><br />I am suspicious of young adult adoptees who say they are perfectly fine being adopted and don't feel any connection to their bio-families, yet they decide to search when they are only 18 or 19 years old. Their actions belie their words. It seems that being adopted did affect them profoundly, otherwise why rush to search practically the minute one becomes a legal adult? It's kind of like someone who says she isn't interested in romance or a committed relationship, yet joins online dating services and asks her friends to fix her up. I'm not buying their disinterest.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-31679133199968211662013-07-17T16:22:04.717-04:002013-07-17T16:22:04.717-04:00Helen: I don't think most first mothers--inclu...Helen: I don't think most first mothers--including the ones who come her for validation and comfort, let that aspect of their lives "define" their entirety. What you read here is a part of their lives and there are few places where they may freely share it. Our lost motherhood does become the prism through which we move forward. I became committed to adoption reform, certainly because of my own experience, an experience that shaped my life. I had my career, got married, got divorced, and married again--coming up now on 32 years. <br /><br />Most women recognize that they cannot metaphorically spend their lives wallowing in their grief. We do pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, etc. <br /><br />But we still are who we are. Just as everybody is.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-75675332416376012882013-07-17T15:15:56.739-04:002013-07-17T15:15:56.739-04:00I saw BUFA the other day and was "thrilled&qu...I saw BUFA the other day and was "thrilled" to see how much adoption has changed since my day - why they added another letter - so much better than "BFA"...<br /><br />You know, my aunt was telling me my story and explained that my mother had been moved to a different floor after birth and thought it was to make it easier for her - perhaps it did - but I doubt they did it for that reason - rather to "protect" all the married mothers from contact with an unwed mother.<br /><br />The changes appear to not be more than surface level...<br /><br />You should do a shout out for L&D nurses to share their feelings - it would be interesting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-78151139642029480642013-07-17T14:26:05.037-04:002013-07-17T14:26:05.037-04:00I'm a social worker at a very small hospital. ...I'm a social worker at a very small hospital. Generally I help the elderly or very poor find resources to help them once they are home. <br /><br />On the several occasions I've had to handle an adoption case, I have noticed that people don't know what to say to me (most people know that I gave a child up for adoption 10 years ago). I do what I can for these young mothers and try to help them find resources should they decide to parent (4 out of 12 did just that). <br /><br />Of course there is pain. Of course there is a sense of loss. But, I don't let it define me. Being a first mother is NOT the only part of my life. <br /><br />I find those who let one aspect of their life define them to lack introspection. It also suggests a certain pathology of thinking that isn't healthy.Helennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-37879532376871407472013-07-17T13:58:49.401-04:002013-07-17T13:58:49.401-04:00Thank you, adopted ones. Yes, I should have includ...Thank you, adopted ones. Yes, I should have included "Normal" mothers and "some" adoptees and left out the word "always." You know, write a headline that doesn't make a lot of sense but would offend no one. <br /><br /><br />Tempus fugit, I have other things to worry about.<br /><br />I think the nurses trying to avoid BUFA deliveries says it all. I wish some one would write about that. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-26427772507083048512013-07-17T13:28:45.829-04:002013-07-17T13:28:45.829-04:00Oh good grief...
The adoptees commenting that are...Oh good grief...<br /><br />The adoptees commenting that are "laughing at the post" should be ashamed. Much like the person who left a comment on my blog something the effect that "I was lucky because at least I had reproduced biologically" - you know, despite the fact that my son died as infant...I was lucky... <br /><br />Loss is loss and perhaps y'all haven't ever felt loss, because you certainly don't have empathy.<br /><br />Neither Lorraine, nor Jane, has ever said anything nasty or demeaning when I speak about mom and dad and the values and ethics they held and taught us kids - which included empathy. Perhaps that's why...<br /><br />Perhaps next time you comment consider the alternative of just noting that Lorraine should have included either or the words "some", "most" in the title of the post ,and call it a day. Your glee did not reflect well on you at all.<br /><br />Keep up the good work Lorraine! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-48963257130167465922013-07-17T12:17:47.686-04:002013-07-17T12:17:47.686-04:00Thank you KatyP for that observation. I've nev...Thank you KatyP for that observation. I've never heard that before but it makes sense. After I gave birth, I was a total wreck and had to be given a powerful shot of something to put me to sleep after birth as I was hysterically sobbing. The only person there to offer me solace was my adoption social worker, who I have to say, totally understand the pain I was going through. She called the father at work to tell him I had given birth, she held my hand after the birth, and knowing all that she did about how I felt, I think she would have been thrilled if I had taken my daughter home with me. <br /><br />But to what home? I was alone in an apartment without any support.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-12156265217673967262013-07-17T12:12:46.282-04:002013-07-17T12:12:46.282-04:00To the Adoptive parent who asked how to mitigate t...To the Adoptive parent who asked how to mitigate the pain, the answer deserves a whole post, not just something lost in the comments. I am one person. Jane is away. Both of us have lives outside of managing this blog. the income from this blog doesn't buy lunch for two in anything other than a lunch counter. I have other work to do also. Please give me some leeway instead of just saying--Oh, classic," whoever left that comment, but not leave her name.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-63825507276548703372013-07-17T10:53:41.405-04:002013-07-17T10:53:41.405-04:00Well, there has to be some pain involved for the v...Well, there has to be some pain involved for the vast majority of the (birth)mothers at least. My stepdaughter (who has been a labor and delivery nurse in the largest hospital in our area for more than 10 years) and her fellow nurses "draw straws" and flip coins to determine who is going to take the next BUFA (Baby up for adoption) patient. The nurses don't want to handle these cases because they are "sad", "unhappy", have "bad vibes" (their words). If pain and unpleasantness weren't a consistent pattern, why would the nurses resist serving those patients and endeavor to keep their exposure to a minimum? How the mother and baby process it over time, well that is individual. But, I have never heard the nurses speak of a 'happy' BUFA situation ever.KatyPnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70453479610271016702013-07-17T10:37:26.676-04:002013-07-17T10:37:26.676-04:00I have to agree with MilkyWay. I've seen it fo...I have to agree with MilkyWay. I've seen it for a while too. The trend of most posts and almost all comments is: Adoptive parents are bad and suspicious. First moms need to be upset. And adoptees need to be longing. <br /><br />And then when someone deviates from the "norm" of this site, someone is sure to point that out and start throwing around insults/clinical diagnoses/questions that person's sanity. <br /><br />I'm a first mom and a regular commenter, but there's no way I want to have my name associated with this statement...backlash would follow. <br /><br />Oh, and that adoptive parent who posted a legitimate questions about how to mitigate the pain of adoption was totally ignored. Classic. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-39197076922010752782013-07-17T08:53:29.723-04:002013-07-17T08:53:29.723-04:00Milky Way: I wish you had added what part of the a...Milky Way: I wish you had added what part of the adoption triangle you represented. We try not to denigrate the adoptees who are content with their life situation, whatever it is. We do hear from many adoptees who are very unhappy with being adopted; we hear less often from those who are content, but of course we know we are out there and that is a good thing. Yes, it sometimes "hurts" mothers at the same time we know it is the best for our children. <br /><br />We do not write about the psychology of adoptive parents unless they have acted in ways that are as you describe. Commenters are on their own there, however. <br /><br />But I do think that a woman who goes through a pregnancy, birth and relinquishment and does not feel pain and sorrow is abnormal. Some of them--and I count myself among them--have made peace with our decisions because we would be crazy otherwise, but that doesn't mean we still don't recognize how giving up our children changed our lives, and not in a way that made life easy. <br /><br />Would you share with us your connection to this site? Obviously everybody here has a connection, otherwise they would not be here. Without telling us, you comment just comes off as snarky.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-64169549399074017792013-07-17T08:51:03.935-04:002013-07-17T08:51:03.935-04:00Too often adoption is seen through rose-colored gl...Too often adoption is seen through rose-colored glasses. So, from my perspective, it is good to hear someone voice that adoption also causes pain.<br /><br />I am an adoptee. I didn't experience unrelenting, gut-wrenching pain as a result of being adopted. But, I did feel the pinch. I wasn't plagued by my feelings, but I always wanted to find my biological connections to this world.<br /><br />Adoption, no matter how wonderful anyone thinks it is, starts with loss. And, loss does hurt.<br /><br />I don't believe that adoption leads to a sad, desperate life for all adoptees. On a ranked list of the negative factors that affected me in childhood, my adoption would be fairly low on the list.... But, I still wondered and cared about my other family. <br /><br />So, for those who say they didn't experience ANY pain (not even a pinch or longing) from being adopted, I'm thrilled for you. I'm certain that there are people who truly don't care about their biological heritage. (And, no, I don't think you are all still in the fog. You just have a different life experience and beliefs than I do.)<br /><br />But, it is interesting to me that the adopted women on here who have posted that they have had fantastic childhoods with no pain whatsoever from being adopted ALSO have all seemingly connected in some way with their other mothers. All of you have had the option to get to know your mothers. For me, as a child, it was the not knowing anything that pinched the most. <br /><br />That's why I asked BeccaL and Adopted and Happy in an earlier post about when they met (learned about) their other mothers. Knowing something, knowing anything, tends to take the sting away a bit.<br /><br />Yes, there is pain in the separation of child from mother. But, I think the most long-lasting pain, at least for many adoptees, is the pain of secrecy.HDWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-28256089934103579952013-07-17T01:02:08.654-04:002013-07-17T01:02:08.654-04:00You hang around here long enough and you start to ...You hang around here long enough and you start to notice some patterns: <br /><br />1) 90% of adoptive parents are self-involved, abusive, greedy, attention-whores, and desperate. The other 10% are decent, but shouldn't be trusted. <br /><br />2) Adoptees are either angry or sad. If they aren't, they are deemed still "in the fog". <br /><br />3) First mothers are angry, bitter, or indignant. If they aren't, they are deemed a "happy birth mom" and are not to be listened to.<br /><br />Notice the extremes? Yeah, that isn't healthy. There is a whole rainbow of experiences out there. Not one of us can speak for the others and what we might be feeling. <br /><br />Some adoptive parents are good, people. Some adoptees are happy with their lives. And some birth moms are content with their choices. I know, this makes your whole bitter world a bit shaky, but it's better than living in a different kind of fog...one where everyone is angry. <br /><br /> MilkyWaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-74751270536669042422013-07-16T22:40:00.447-04:002013-07-16T22:40:00.447-04:00Wait, so adoptees must have Stockholm Syndrome if ...Wait, so adoptees must have Stockholm Syndrome if they were happy with their childhood and their adoptive parents? Wow, talk about deluded. <br /><br />While my childhood wasn't ideal, it was far from horrible. I truly love my adoptive parents and my biological mom is just not my cup of tea!Adopteenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-10615387893303808522013-07-16T21:34:16.102-04:002013-07-16T21:34:16.102-04:00When I wrote the headline I was reminded of what a...When I wrote the headline I was reminded of what a therapist said in the first trial I testified in, for a woman who wanted to have her OBC and any medical data she could. It must have been 1977 or so. Florence Fisher testified, and so did Robert J. Lifton and a child psychologistm name forgotten but I probably have it somewhere. I will never forget when he said when he was being cross examined by the attorney for Spence-Chapin: Adoption is always painful. <br /><br />Of course, that was only his educated opinion.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-25326535288189491922013-07-16T21:14:15.909-04:002013-07-16T21:14:15.909-04:00BeccaL
do you work with mothers who relinquish? d...BeccaL<br /><br />do you work with mothers who relinquish? do they ever learn that you are adopted and happy and think your mother is a jerk? i'd love to see a stat on how many 'adoption workers' are themselves adopted. and i'd like to see how many first mothers are adoption facilitators. i bed the stats don't correspond. <br /><br />becca, i don't mean to put down your relationship with your aparents but you seem to have serious issues--evident in your attitude towards the birth mothers who cherish this site. mild case of stockholm syndrome, i'd say.Sarahnoreply@blogger.com