tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post3880253521510658426..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: ACLU Tramples Adoptee Rights & First Mother ProtectionsLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-5414272358620989922010-09-03T11:51:56.022-04:002010-09-03T11:51:56.022-04:00As adoptees and mothers of relinquished children, ...As adoptees and mothers of relinquished children, it seems to me we share some common ground with those who were once slaves.<br /><br />Frederick Douglass pretty well nailed it. <br /><br />It seems to me the same thinking and compassion that has surfaced in the aftermath of slavery is what we in the adoption world should also feel.<br /><br />A similar feeling is also found among family members who were separated from one another by war. The International Red Cross has helped reunite many people, often siblings. <br /><br />Where's our share of that compassion and good will? Was there any legislation enacted to maintain the privacy of a female slave whose child might come looking for her? No. <br /><br />Did anyone suggest legislation to protect the identity of the father who may have been the white slave owner? No. <br /><br />In fact, things have gone the other way. Every effort has been made to reconnect American blacks with their families and their histories. The country reveled in the book and movie "Roots."<br /><br />We are the only group of people for whom the law declares our histories should remain a blank slate. Disgraceful.no_slappzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04207475509053402475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56082682666273884952010-09-02T23:25:36.578-04:002010-09-02T23:25:36.578-04:00@no slappz..
Thank you so very much for what you ...@no slappz..<br /><br />Thank you so very much for what you have shared here...with all of us. This narrative of the life of Frederick Douglass...moved me in a profound way. The most troubling similarities of slavery, the separation of mother and infant child, and adoption..disturbed me greatly and caused a pain in my heart and soul. What kind of country do we live in...even after slavery has supposedly been abolished? It wasn't...it metamorphosed into present day adoption. <br />Thank you again.Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-39882649551701978912010-09-02T13:16:23.526-04:002010-09-02T13:16:23.526-04:00After years of research and thought, NJCARE began ...After years of research and thought, NJCARE began again to examine the primary documents: the bill statement that explained the reasons for sealing the records (1940), the surrender document (the only "contract" with relinquishing mothers that we are aware of), and copies of adoption decrees, given to parents (and often passed on to the adoptee) after finalization in court, which contain the names of child and original mother. <br /><br />In signing the relinquishment, the mother not only gives up all rights and responsibilities toward her child, but gives up (twice, in fact) the "right to be noticed" when the child is adopted. <br /><br />Not every relinquished child was adopted, although that would have been the birth parent's expectation. Some kids went into permanent foster care, some were institutionalized, and some died. Regardless of what happened to the child, the original mother would never have been made aware of it. No records were sealed until the adoption was finalized in court, an event that could only take place after the child had been in home of prospective adopters for at least six months. <br /><br />Whether or not agency workers or attorneys promised original mothers "confidentiality" from their own children, the fact is that because of the chain of events mentioned above -- birth, relinquishment of rights, responsibilities, and notice; a 6-month wait for a court date if the prospective family was approved; and (again) no notice to the original mother, it was physically and legally impossible for a parent to anticipate "privacy" from her own child because there would be no privacy at all unless the original birth certificate was sealed. <br /><br />For the son or daughter to be punished with lifelong genetic anonymity because a professional didn't explain the fine print to the relinquishing mother is unnecessarily disrespectful of the primary client in adoption -- the child. The NJ public and some members of the legislature are being saturated with misinformation by opponents of the access bill, none of whom seems to understand the history and facts surrounding the issue.<br /><br />Check www.nj-care.org for more facts.Pam Hasegawanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-43809868507392035652010-09-02T10:54:27.002-04:002010-09-02T10:54:27.002-04:00I don't understand why the ACLU is considered ...I don't understand why the ACLU is considered a human rights organization. And I am sure I will get bonked on the head for this, but more often than not, they present themselves as an evil left wing Orwellian organization. In the case of Adoptee's and Natural Mothers Civil rights, I think this description applies. Since I am neither a leftist or a rightwinger, and I am a victim of abuse from both sides, I stand steadfast in the middle, seeing the errors of both sides. Until 2008 Nadine Strossen was the director of the ACLU AND a member of the National Youth Rights Association (for all youth but Adopted youths it seems) which helped a child get emancipated (which is wrongly illegal for Adopted children) AND I quote from their website "and easier process of adoption to other families". I agree with Lorraine and Jane that many members of the ACLU are Adoptive Parents but I also think that many have money invested in Adoption Agencies that vie for Closed Records. After all we all know that Adoption IS a billion dollar buisness... I shuttered when I went into The Right To Life's website, as on their sidebar they have listed a Freedom Of Speech link, and while I agree with their views on abortion, I wince at the dark irony of how they oppress OUR Freedom Of Speech which is silenced by The Birth Mother Privacy LIE....<br />no_slappz, your comment is incredible-ty so much for that heartbrreaking account of the injustices Fredrick Douglass went through. African Anerican slaves were not allowed to learn how to read either, and the flip side of that abusive coin is Adoptees not being able to read personal information ABOUT OURSELVES....<br />Lorraine-all I wrote to you in my Email still stands, but I wanted to finishing redoing my blog's new layout, which I have done, and I couldn't ignore the title of this post and I just had to comment, LoL...it is hard to be used by an industry one's whole life like we have been used by The Adoption Industry without staying quiet about it for too long...The Improper Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04460201280334904431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55689368302761086592010-09-02T10:00:46.349-04:002010-09-02T10:00:46.349-04:00I'm surprised that others seem surprised that ...I'm surprised that others seem surprised that the ACLU opposes unrestricted obc access. This isn't new news They've always opposed it. As a bourgeois liberal organization that's what it does.Marley Greinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15184124024369071862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-82021482072859916852010-09-02T07:06:24.302-04:002010-09-02T07:06:24.302-04:00Part II from the Narrative of the lif of Frederick...Part II from the Narrative of the lif of Frederick Douglass: <br /><br />I never saw my mother, to know her as such, more than four or five times in my life; and each of these times was very short in duration, and at night. <br /><br />She was hired by a Mr. Stewart, who lived about twelve miles from my home. She made her journeys to see me in the night, travelling the whole distance on foot, after the performance of her day's work. She was a field hand, and a whipping is the penalty of not being in the field at sunrise, unless a slave has special permission from his or her master to the contrary--a permission which they seldom get, and one that gives to him that gives it the proud name of being a kind master. <br /><br />I do not recollect of ever seeing my mother by the light of day. She was with me in the night. She would lie down with me, and get me to sleep, but long before I waked she was gone. Very little communication ever took place between us. <br /><br />Death soon ended what little we could have while she lived, and with it her hardships and suffering. She died when I was about seven years old, on one of my master's farms, near Lee's Mill. I was not allowed to be present during her illness, at her death, or burial. She was gone long before I knew any thing about it. <br /><br />Never having enjoyed, to any considerable extent, her soothing presence, her tender and watchful care, I received the tidings of her death with much the same emotions I should have probably felt at the death of a stranger. <br /><br />Called thus suddenly away, she left me without the slightest intimation of who my father was.<br /><br />The whisper that my master was my father, may or may not be true; and, true or false, it is of but little consequence to my purpose whilst the fact remains, in all its glaring odiousness, that slaveholders have ordained, and by law established, that the children of slave women shall in all cases follow the condition of their mothers; and this is done too obviously to administer to their own lusts, and make a gratification of their wicked desires profitable as well as pleasurable; for by this cunning arrangement, the slaveholder, in cases not a few, sustains to his slaves the double relation of master and father.no_slappzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04207475509053402475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23931814297105740562010-09-02T07:03:34.300-04:002010-09-02T07:03:34.300-04:00I think the opening paragraphs of Frederick Dougla...I think the opening paragraphs of Frederick Douglass's autobiography are appropriate:<br /><br /><strong>Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave</strong><br /><br />Chapter 1<br /><br />I was born in Tuckahoe, near Hillsborough, and about twelve miles from Easton, in Talbot county, Maryland. I have no accurate knowledge of my age, never having seen any authentic record containing it. <br /><br />By far the larger part of the slaves know as little of their ages as horses know of theirs, and it is the wish of most masters within my knowledge to keep their slaves thus ignorant. I do not remember to have ever met a slave who could tell of his birthday. They seldom come nearer to it than planting-time, harvest- time, cherry-time, spring-time, or fall-time. <br /><br />A want of information concerning my own was a source of unhappiness to me even during childhood. <br /><br />The white children could tell their ages. I could not tell why I ought to be deprived of the same privilege. I was not allowed to make any inquiries of my master concerning it. He deemed all such inquiries on the part of a slave improper and impertinent, and evidence of a restless spirit. <br /><br />The nearest estimate I can give makes me now between twenty-seven and twenty- eight years of age. I come to this, from hearing my master say, some time during 1835, I was about seventeen years old. <br /><br />My mother was named Harriet Bailey. She was the daughter of Isaac and Betsey Bailey, both colored, and quite dark. My mother was of a darker complexion than either my grandmother or grandfather. <br /><br />My father was a white man. He was admitted to be such by all I ever heard speak of my parentage. The opinion was also whispered that my master was my father; but of the correctness of this opinion, I know nothing; the means of knowing was withheld from me. <br /><br />My mother and I were separated when I was but an infant--before I knew her as my mother. It is a common custom, in the part of Maryland from which I ran away, to part children from their mothers at a very early age. Frequently, before the child has reached its twelfth month, its mother is taken from it, and hired out on some farm a considerable distance off, and the child is placed under the care of an old woman, too old for field labor. <br /><br />For what this separation is done, I do not know, unless it be to hinder the development of the child's affection toward its mother, and to blunt and destroy the natural affection of the mother for the child. This is the inevitable result.no_slappzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04207475509053402475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-80880552374051713322010-09-02T01:20:04.627-04:002010-09-02T01:20:04.627-04:00Such a packed post but I'll confine myself...n...Such a packed post but I'll confine myself...nothing quoshes an adoptee's interest in their biological families- they just needed to ask!<br />Fear of adoption rates going done? In the normal world that's something to be celebrated.Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55794495368896126812010-09-01T23:43:52.713-04:002010-09-01T23:43:52.713-04:00Wow, that's really disturbing. Serious blow, ...Wow, that's really disturbing. Serious blow, in my mind, to the ACLU's credibility. Thanks for raising awareness of this.Carla Moquinhttp://www.bringperihome.comnoreply@blogger.com