tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post4038219271433513363..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Are the birth fathers pushing this depressing statistic?Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-22050455171097915092009-02-08T13:43:00.000-05:002009-02-08T13:43:00.000-05:00I would suspect that Jacy Boldebuck was making it ...I would suspect that Jacy Boldebuck was making it up as she went along. I don't suppose that she has figures, which is why she doesn't respond. <BR/><BR/>I don't think that there were that many fathers named on the OBC, at least from the BSE. Even today, unless a man acknowledged paternity legally, or by DNA Testing, in Texas at least, his name will not appear on the birth certificate. <BR/><BR/>I think that the fathers of the children, in large part, are as absent today as they were in the past. I didn't see them lining up to acknowledge paternity then, and today, while they may not actively decline, they are still not lining up to find their children. I think for the most part the fathers are sort of a non-issue.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17088288948654864117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19088110682303485442009-02-05T11:13:00.000-05:002009-02-05T11:13:00.000-05:00As I said, I've emailed and asked Jacy Boldebuck t...As I said, I've emailed and asked Jacy Boldebuck to clarify but she has not responded. <BR/>--lorraineLorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-76718989734959520812009-02-05T10:05:00.000-05:002009-02-05T10:05:00.000-05:00Okay, so perhaps I'm confused. If both parents na...Okay, so perhaps I'm confused. If both parents names are on OBC the both parents MUST agree before either can have contact? Like if mom agrees and dad doesn't the adoptee can still meet mom? or not? or vice versa...<BR/><BR/>That would explain a higher refusal rate. I absolutely think her figures should be clarified because I can see a group who is against open records (such as LDS Church, etc...) latching on to those statistics and quoting them in their arguments.<BR/><BR/>:) KristyKristySearchinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04154155815657401289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-31940190045975333322009-02-04T20:09:00.000-05:002009-02-04T20:09:00.000-05:00Your hypothesis is a good one, and certainly allow...Your hypothesis is a good one, and certainly allows for the possibility that my speculations could be way off. OTOH I have a hard time believing that there are *that* many evil dads out there, screwing things up.<BR/>It's curious that Boldebuck herself doesn't offer that up as a possible reason. <BR/>"About half of the parents Boldebuck contacts say No to contact. That could be because a birth parent 'was hidden away in the home and shamed,' Boldebuck said. Sometimes the adoption file reveals the child was conceived as the result of a rape." <BR/> It would seem then that the nay sayers to whom she was referring were approached and then refused.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-79227292396253162652009-02-04T15:56:00.000-05:002009-02-04T15:56:00.000-05:00In my case both my name and the birth father were ...In my case both my name and the birth father were on the OBC.<BR/><BR/>The CI tracked us both down and made initial contact with both of us simultaneously. It was not necessary for both of us to agree.<BR/><BR/>This was in the state of Maryland.Angellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02400662014485775139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-81860441507409551852009-02-04T15:19:00.000-05:002009-02-04T15:19:00.000-05:00So if the father's names were on birth certificate...So if the father's names were on birth certificate BOTH signatures are needed, in order, for the intermediary to do their job?<BR/><BR/>So some mothers who were not "allowed" to put dad on birth certificate will have an easier time than those of us who were allowed to put dad on original?<BR/><BR/>Most of the time I would venture to say its the mother that searches anyway. Fathers have a way of disappearing, kind of like they wished, we mothers would have forever. Even with sealed records, we have found, and reunited.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com