tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post4718086663916005669..comments2024-03-14T17:59:30.786-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Foreign adoption may save 'one child' but hurts manyLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-30402255857532164692013-01-31T17:57:05.579-05:002013-01-31T17:57:05.579-05:00COMMMENTS CLOSEDCOMMMENTS CLOSEDJane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-42679868173998582422013-01-31T17:56:08.199-05:002013-01-31T17:56:08.199-05:00The point, Curious, that if the people who comment...The point, Curious, that if the people who commented here had altruistic reasons for adopting foreign children rather than ignoring American children, they would have stated the reasons. <br /><br />Spending fifty grand to go halfway around the world for a child when that money would help many (there's that word again) girls escape the sex trade and ignoring children here in the US is putting the wants, if not the needs, of the adoptive parents before child welfare.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-72332745461443694722013-01-31T16:29:14.606-05:002013-01-31T16:29:14.606-05:00I guess I am just not getting the blanket statemen...I guess I am just not getting the blanket statements:<br /><br />"The simple answer that if the primary reason for adopting was to meet the needs of a child, those who adopted from abroad would have adopted an American foster child."<br /><br />You can't want to meet the needs of a starving child in another country?<br /><br />I know many adoptive parents. One in particular comes to mind. They have 2 bio children, plus a foster child, plus a child adopted internationally and to generalize that as " those who adopted from abroad would have adopted an American foster child." just doesn't make sense to me...so b/c out of their 4 children, the one they adopted internationally is b/c they were not looking at the needs of that child?<br /><br />"People whom I've known and read about"<br /><br />Still a blanket generalization so maybe you should meet more people b/c people I have known and people I read about that have adopted internationally reached out to an area they felt touched by and felt compelled to (by whatever driving force that you want to call it). <br /><br />Though I will say that the Op-ed from Pastor Kim Do-hyun presented a governmental problem and issue that needs to be addressed and he did this without assuming (and we all know what assuming does...I always think of Felix Unger from the Odd Couple when I think of assumption - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEP1acj29-Y) that those "who adopted infants from abroad give as their reason that it was quicker than adopting American infants and that they did not have to worry about natural parents wanting the child back or coming into the picture later"Curiousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-88898542634986477442013-01-31T16:03:06.621-05:002013-01-31T16:03:06.621-05:00Yes, Curious, children all over the world are dyin...Yes, Curious, children all over the world are dying from malnutrition, war, and natural disasters. US adoption agencies could shift, and maybe are shifting, their businesses to new countries. <br /><br />What will we get? More corruption, kidnappings, the sale of babies just as we have seen in Guatemala, Cambodia, Ethiopia, China, and other countries where US and foreign officials stopped or curtailed adoptions. <br /><br />Regarding my statement "First let me say that many foreign adoptions are not based on helping needy children but in getting children to meet the needs of would-be parents." <br /><br />The simple answer that if the primary reason for adopting was to meet the needs of a child, those who adopted from abroad would have adopted an American foster child.<br /><br />Those who posted here, mostly those who adopted older children from Russia, and others I've known who adopted older children said they did not adopt a foster child because (a ) the child might be returned to his natural parents or (b) foster children have more severe behavior problems.<br /><br />People whom I've known and read about who adopted infants from abroad give as their reason that it was quicker than adopting American infants and that they did not have to worry about natural parents wanting the child back or coming into the picture later. <br /><br />These are not child-centered reasons.<br /><br />In fairness, I should add that some people I know who adopted from abroad or commented here now know the value of children learning their origins and support their children in trying to find their first families. <br /><br />For those who want to help children in poor countries, I recommend "Half the Sky" by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn to learn about ways of providing meaningful help to children at risk of starvation and abuse.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-83251651795474511982013-01-31T15:50:44.824-05:002013-01-31T15:50:44.824-05:00Robin, I think you must mean there are supposed to...Robin, I think you must mean there are supposed to be NO oversights. Yes, adoptive parents should be held to a higher standard. I don't think and didn't say they shouldn't be. They should also be vetted thoroughly before being allowed to adopt. Perhaps if the Harrisons had been properly vetted Dima might have been spared. It was without doubt a flawed system that put him with these people - what, for instance, was he doing in daycare? He had only been adopted three months before his death! I also agree with you no that adopted child should be abused EVER. Actually I don't think *any* child should be abused EVER. There's no excuse for abuse, whatever the circumstances and whoever the abuser. <br /><br />Although Dimitri'ss death was a tragic accident, Chase Harrison was guilty of extreme negligence and should not have been acquitted of involuntary manslaughter. I don't understand why he was acquitted. He also deserves to be included on that infamous list of adopters who caused the death of the child under their care. Nevertheless, there have been far worse (in the sense that the abuse was deliberate and ongoing) cases of abuse of Russian adoptees by their American parents. But the Duma made the political decision to name the act after Dimi, perhaps because the adoption had not yet been finalized and he was still a Russian citizen at the time of his death. Maybe also because of the way the American media glommed onto the tragedy. But it is a fact that last year there were at least thirty-one deaths of children in the U.S from being left in cars in hot weather, and over 400 during the last ten years. Tragic though it is, it would be odd if none of these had been adoptees. <br /><br />"It is not the same as the BSE where all white unwed mothers were forced to give their children to strangers just because they were single." While it is certainly true that many, maybe most, white unwed mothers lost their children to strangers during the period from the end of the Second World War to the '80's, it didn't happen in "all" cases. "All" is a bit sweeping. I know two women who, with support from friends and family, managed to raise their children through the early years. Both of them later married. Of course, if help hadn't been forthcoming they wouldn't have been able to manage.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-70941461420310689712013-01-31T15:27:32.940-05:002013-01-31T15:27:32.940-05:00Theodore said "Russia SIGNED that convention ...Theodore said "Russia SIGNED that convention in 2000."<br /><br />My mistake, Theodore. I meant ratified. The Russian Federation are signatories to the convention, but have not yet ratified. <br />So the agreement is not officially valid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-84789250136234067992013-01-31T15:27:30.076-05:002013-01-31T15:27:30.076-05:00@Curious
AT (Attachment Torture, I mean Therapy) i...@Curious<br />AT (Attachment Torture, I mean Therapy) is PROOF that AM's (Adopting Morons, I mean Adoptive Mothers) ONLY care about themselves. So is letting an adoptee get labeled with ADD (when they only want their real mothers) and get put on toxic drugs for it. So is putting an adopted teen in a psych ward when the teen doesn't belong in one because(and can suffer permanent damage from the "therapies" there)her Royal Entitledness doesn't want to deal with the normal rebel years teens go through (which AM's see as ungratefulness). So does calling an adoptee or foster child who gets food in the kitchen after dinner because they are still hungry "stealing" and a thief". I could give you 100 more examples. Babies and children are adopted for the adoptive parents ego trip and so adoption agencies can make money. End of story and I agree with Jane on all she has said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-32746708666087480102013-01-31T14:26:26.137-05:002013-01-31T14:26:26.137-05:00Foreign adoption may save 'one child' but ...Foreign adoption may save 'one child' but hurts many still has me curious as to what the solution is?<br /><br />Now we know Jane's solution is that people should just stop adopting all together and hopefully the collateral damage won't be that bad b/c hey: "Even at the rate of 5,000 children per year, it would take 140 years to empty the orphanages and by that time another 7,000 would be in them"<br /><br />So really why bother trying right?<br /><br />And of course: " Regardless of what action we take on Russian adoptions, in the short run, children are going to die or suffer severe abuse."<br /><br />So once again why bother? If it's going to happen anyway why would one even try? That attitude is indicative of where we are as a society today...why bother...<br /><br />And most of this post is pointed directly toward Russian adoptions but what about severely impoverished countries?<br /><br />Places like The Democratic Republic of the Congo where there are an upward of 5 million orphaned children. Children that death is imminent if they aren't adopted. <br /><br />Could we use the argument that adopting children from the Congo will only cause, create or aide corruption? A place where all there is, is corruption?<br /><br />And let those children die b/c "Hey we could never save them all any way!"<br /><br />Places like Kenya that have "The Abandoned Baby Center", yes a center set up exclusively to provide some form of care for babies that have lost their parents to AIDS or that have literally been left on the side of the road.<br /><br />Their goal is to place the children with Kenya families but there is literally "No more room at the Inn" and are trying to get the government to change international adoption laws to give these children a chance at a home.<br /><br />So what is the answer? What is the solution? <br /><br />And how would "saving one" from these conditions hurt many?<br /><br />I don't see any statistics represented that shows how it hurts?<br /><br />I see a lot of generalized statements: " First let me say that many foreign adoptions are not based on helping needy children but in getting children to meet the needs of would-be parents." <br /><br />But no real proof. How can you say "many"? How do you know this? Does "many" have a number associated with it? Like a couple is two and a few is 3 or more? Are there any stats? Or are you just projecting? Where is the research that says "Why yes, yes indeed those looking to adopt do so in a foreign land so that they can eradicate the first parents!" <br /><br />You feel that "many" do but do you know that for sure? <br /><br />Without facts it is just an opinion. Like the Op-ed section of a newspaper and sure it is okay to have an opinion and write an Op-ed and read an Op-ed but you can't present that as facts. Another practice indicative to many issues in society today. <br /><br />1,500 people die per day in DRC because of the conflict. A day!!<br /><br />And yes I have also seen your list of international adoptees that are against international adoption but where is the list of those that are for? Is there statistical information to support this. <br /><br />See that is where I am curious? I am curious as to the legitimacy of this claim for all circumstances and I am curious as to concrete solutions based on facts. <br />Curiousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-86781490500081078192013-01-31T14:19:54.023-05:002013-01-31T14:19:54.023-05:00God this, God that. If God really was good or even...God this, God that. If God really was good or even existed he would of let you infertile bitches get knocked up so you couldn't steal other women's children and abuse so many of them...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-9671136904921324662013-01-31T13:02:57.376-05:002013-01-31T13:02:57.376-05:00I am a firstmother 30 years ago I knew someone who...I am a firstmother 30 years ago I knew someone who grew up in an orphanage(never adopted) We were rommates in a psych ward Her little boy was sick and needed heart surgery She had trouble with the the stress I had trouble dealing with the stress of not knowing where my baby was. I haven't thought about this in a long time Funny how this blog triggers so many memories and feelings We spent our time together for the few weeks we were in the lonny bin except when her husband visited and I disappeared into the music room and let them have the room to themselves. Eventually she recovered and went back to her life as a suburban wife and mother and I recovered(sort of) and got a job in the city as a computer programmer, saved up some money, and hired someone to find my son.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-53394683317015380682013-01-31T12:57:52.652-05:002013-01-31T12:57:52.652-05:00Anomymous, Russia SIGNED that convention in 2000.Anomymous, Russia SIGNED that convention in 2000.Theodorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14634057445114838262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-63527187184448469992013-01-31T10:53:58.778-05:002013-01-31T10:53:58.778-05:00Thank you, Robin, for a jolt of sanity here. Thank you, Robin, for a jolt of sanity here. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-1569074359101111552013-01-31T08:49:48.579-05:002013-01-31T08:49:48.579-05:00To anyone comparing children raised by their bio-p...To anyone comparing children raised by their bio-parents being abused and adopted children being abused, you need to understand this. Adopted children are PURPOSEFULLY PLACED in their adoptive homes to get a BETTER LIFE. There are supposed to be oversights, there are home studies, criminal background checks, attorneys and social workers are involved in the case. No adopted child should be abused EVER. It is not the same as the crapshoot of being born and raised by sh*tty parents who are abusive.<br /><br />As an adult adoptee, I am offended by the comparison. If you do not understand the difference then you do not understand adoption at all.<br /><br />International adoption is a very complex issue. It is not the same as the BSE where all white unwed mothers were forced to give their children to strangers just because they were single. Being an international adoptee would be incredibly difficult. I can't even imagine losing my homeland, culture, language, and being raised halfway around the world by people with a different religion, race, etc. Would it be preferable to life in an orphanage? In the majority of cases, yes.<br /><br />As for foster children, I can't believe someone had the nerve to say don't adopt these children because they are too damaged. Talk about blaming the victim. It is not the child's fault that s/he was abused, abandoned, neglected, whatever the case may be that landed her in foster care. It is enormously cruel to paint all foster children with the same brush. And to then punish them further by saying that they don't deserve a loving home.<br /><br />Maybe you need to tune into "The Bachelor" on Monday nights. There is a lovely young lady named AshLee who was a former foster child, adopted at the age of six. She is beautiful, intelligent and seemingly kind-hearted. I am sure she is far from the only foster child to make a success of her life. <br /><br />At this point I don't think I've added my 2 cents. I think I've added my whole $12,650 adoption tax credit :)Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-73017158152446427022013-01-30T21:22:49.586-05:002013-01-30T21:22:49.586-05:00Jane said " Focusing on the few leaves the ma...Jane said " Focusing on the few leaves the many ignored."<br /><br />Not that "If it saves one, it will all have been worthwhile", but it is difficult, if not impossible, to encompass the many. <br />I do find the "waiting it out" comment a cold-hearted response to the situation of institutionalized children in Russia. <br />I suppose that in a way, and perhaps in the minds of those who oppose international adoption in any form, it turns those who are actually doing the waiting into involuntary martyrs. But even martyrdom requires a degree of compliance with the circumstances, a certain understanding and anticipation of the instrumentality leading to events. These children have no such agency. Not that children ever do.<br /><br />I would like to have been able to believe thsat the Dmitry Yakelov act was a right deed for the wrong reason, but it seems to me now that neither deed not reason have much rightness about them. Russia has known for a long time that its support system for children and families is inadequate: <br />http://www.rferl.org/content/<br />Russias_Medvedev_Urges_Action_Against_Child_Abuse/<br />1511570.html<br />Medvedev said "We need a normal system of childhood protection in the most accurate sense of this word. Today there is no such system in the country, and these deplorable figures prove this," <br /><br />Regardless of its eventual outcome, which I hope will be positive, I believe the Dmitri Yakelov act was a cynical maneuver timed to distract from the Magnitsky affair, the trial for which has just been adjourned. To read more: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/<br />9831930/Absurd-Sergei-Magnitsky-trial-adjourned.html <br /><br />And, oh look: http://www.spotlightnews.com/news/2013/jan/25/police-child-left-freezing-car-eight-hours/<br />Almost identical situation to the Chase/Dima tragedy, father taking child to day care on way to work, forgetting child who is left in car for eight hours. Difference being the father is the kid's REAL daddy, and the kid didn't die. <br /><br />I only hope that Russia will eventually sign the Hague convention and cooperate with other nations to ensure its directives are being followed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-42278352393803908212013-01-30T16:48:26.960-05:002013-01-30T16:48:26.960-05:00Thanks,Robin,
Yes, that is exactly what I meant. ...Thanks,Robin,<br /><br />Yes, that is exactly what I meant. Focusing on the few leaves the many ignored.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-9163716231474661362013-01-30T16:29:07.592-05:002013-01-30T16:29:07.592-05:00America has the right to decide how many deaths ar...America has the right to decide how many deaths are too many in their country. Russia has the right to decide how many deaths are to many for them to trust the U.S. with their children. Looks like they decided 19 was enough. Especially since the U.S. treated Dima like trash by not prosecuting his murderer for manslaughter. The decision has been made. Now, are you going to act like the typical American entitled adopter and whine about it or are you going to work on reform and rebuild the trust that was lost when Dima died and nobody could be bothered?<br />The choice is up to you because I don't think your entitled hand wringing is going to change Russia's minds.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-81717904348755061042013-01-30T15:54:57.403-05:002013-01-30T15:54:57.403-05:00I think Jane's point is that trying to solve t...I think Jane's point is that trying to solve the worldwide problem of abandoned and neglected children by adoption is like trying to contain the ocean in a thimble. The more I learn about how children are horribly mistreated throughout the world, the more ashamed I am of the human race.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38012161680589377662013-01-30T14:47:18.696-05:002013-01-30T14:47:18.696-05:00I feel like I have to comment on this post. As a f...I feel like I have to comment on this post. As a firstmother, I can only imagine that if I was in an orphanage, I would certainly want to be adopted by some good people. I agree that when large sums of money are involved some people will do anything-kidnap,coerce whatever-to get the babies to sell,er, provide for adoption,In some places there are even baby "farms" set up to provide the supply to fill the demand. In the end, I am not that extreme,however, that I think babies shouldn't be adopted from orphanages. I personally know 3 who were adopted from orphanages-1 from Guatemala, 1 from Vietnam and 1 from the US(a long time ago) All are doing well Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-89028614201150445352013-01-30T14:01:55.277-05:002013-01-30T14:01:55.277-05:00Also... I can't believe Jane implied she would...Also... I can't believe Jane implied she would rather have "orphans" wait it out in orphanages.<br /><br />I get where she is coming from, but still...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-53244634995015759782013-01-30T13:59:50.600-05:002013-01-30T13:59:50.600-05:00From a transracial adoptee, I must say that even w...From a transracial adoptee, I must say that even when adoptive parents have the best of intentions, have a loving home, and raise the child well, there is always this sense that these parents did not "have" to adopt this child.<br /><br />These parents did not "need" to adopt. They were not "obligated" to save a child via adoption. No one "expected" them to do it.<br /><br />So the child is seen as having been "saved", even if it was merely based upon a desire to parent and love a child. <br /><br />There is no getting away from that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-36979979751267501562013-01-30T11:16:18.527-05:002013-01-30T11:16:18.527-05:00Does it occur to any of you frantic adoptive paren...Does it occur to any of you frantic adoptive parents of Russian children that Jane does have a larger point? You are all so enraged that your personal choice has been criticized that your overlook her point--that the whole system of international adoption is rife with corruption, there is little to no oversight, and each adoption fuels the continual dumping of children because some nice wealthy American couple is going to come for them.<br /><br />None of you can see beyond your blinders.Sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-75165596698369332382013-01-30T10:28:15.113-05:002013-01-30T10:28:15.113-05:00So, 19 children adopted from Russia have died here...So, 19 children adopted from Russia have died here. Okay. What about the (average) 5 children per day who die of abuse and neglect in America (mostly by their "natural parents")? What about the 695,000 children who victims of maltreatment? <br /><br />For those of you who say 19 deaths is too many...what about those American children? Do you know what the most comment "consequence" for child abuse in America is? Probation and child-rearing classes, if anything at all is done. <br /><br />For those who said that abuse is common in Russian families...abuse is just as common here in America. SAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-83287896909124819372013-01-30T08:22:23.220-05:002013-01-30T08:22:23.220-05:00Regarding the child Chase Harrison/Dima Yarkolev a...Regarding the child Chase Harrison/Dima Yarkolev and his case, many of the Russian adoptive families that I personally know were OUTRAGED by that case. Regardless of country of birth, cases of children left in hot cars happen every year. I have no comprehension of how this happens, but alas, it does. No child should be killed at the hands of their parents. However, the issues there are with our legal system -- and that's a whole other topic for a different thread. During the same period of 20 years, it is estimated by a Russian journalist, that over 1200 Russian adoptive kids were killed at the hands of their Russian adoptive parents. However, this doesn't receive the same press as the horrible Americans. Abuse is common in Russian families, sadly. So tell me that the 19 cases int he US have not been politicized? Relations between our two countries are not great right now - in fact their President wants to pass a ban on Russian govt workers not being able to marry US citizens. Yup - no political issues there. <br /><br />As far as the poster who came from the US foster system - I have read and re-read this thread and I don't see ANYONE rallying for the rights of these Russian children EVER calling US Foster kids worthless and damaged. We are PRO adoption advocates who simply choose Russia as the country we adopted from. No one ever said the children are damaged -- but the SYSTEM is broken. And before you crazy anti adoption ppl start thumping that adoption is horrible, I don't believe any of us want to see a child ripped away from their FM -- but let's face it, there are many FMs who CHOOSE, of their own will to proceed with a birth plan.<br /><br />The agency I used did not have slick campaigns. SHE -- yes, one woman, has a website, that isn't updated very often. She's passionate for children and the fact that they deserve homes and not orphanages. Finally -- on that note, I LOVED the comment "I have 'heard' that there are many oprhanages that are nice and run by ppl who care" - LOLOL again, you HEARD -- go travel and find those orphanages. Many of the ppl who work there DO care about the children, but at the end of the day, nothing can replace a HOME with a mom/dad. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-53880946424518777792013-01-30T02:12:31.320-05:002013-01-30T02:12:31.320-05:00Once again Barbara, you have missed the point. Thi...Once again Barbara, you have missed the point. This isn't about who gets pregnant and who is cold hearted and who is scum of the earth. And comparing those of us who disagree with the American court system giving a pass to a man who committed manslaughter with Nazi's is just hysterics on your part. <br />Unlike you, I do care about what happens to these orphans once they are in the U.S. and I hope that perhaps Americans will wake up and change the way they treat these children. 19 deaths is too many. Russia thinks so and it's their choice who they deal with when it comes to adoption. And they don't want to deal with Americans taking their children home with empty promises and then leaving them in cars to perish. You compare life in an orphanage to rotting in Hell? What about Dima and his day spent in a 120 degree car? Is that the life you want to promise? 19 is too many. 19 is enough. We can do better for these kids.<br />And btw, you still haven't explained to me how "rescuing" one child from an orphanage helps all the rest you didn't take home. How does that work?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-18565763230623500442013-01-29T23:28:00.819-05:002013-01-29T23:28:00.819-05:00Yes, another Anonymous, Dima did die at the hands ...Yes, another Anonymous, Dima did die at the hands of his adopter. Blame the attorneys in the US that there were no consequences. Our country is full of the scum of the earth lawyers who worry about getting criminals off rather than worrying about what's right. I never said anything about blaming "mean old Russia" for not letting us adopt their kids. I don't care if they let Americans adopt their kids. I do care if they tie them to beds and let them rot. Some people turned a blind eye to the murder of Jews during the holocaust too, because, well, we needed to worry about OUR people here at home. So, ok, let's just agree that Jane is right. Let's just let the kids rot in hell and hope someone else decides to take care of them. What a great world. Let's take no responsibility for anything. Hey, get pregnant, get an abortion or abandon the child for someone else to care for, tie handicapped kids to a bed in an orphanage and turn your back and hope for the best....you folks keep cheering about how that's all for the best; I'm going to keep trying to help the orphans, their biological mothers, all the NGOs that care when their governments don't. barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16121842711657226061noreply@blogger.com