tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post5501163732394950782..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Crittenton today: Serving marginalized teensLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-86135697042673552582024-03-14T16:57:37.639-04:002024-03-14T16:57:37.639-04:00Thanks for your comment and your sensitivity. Yes,...Thanks for your comment and your sensitivity. Yes, the repeal of Roe v Wade is tragic. I note that two of the justices who voted to overturn Roe are adoptive parents, Justices Roberts and Barrett.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-48336445617340672262024-03-14T09:47:35.627-04:002024-03-14T09:47:35.627-04:00My aunt was sent to the SF Florence Crittenton Hom...My aunt was sent to the SF Florence Crittenton Home for Unwed Mothers when she was 16, in 1951. Her father insisted. My nana had to take her to SF, leave her there, and come home acting unphased in time to make dinner for the younger daughters. Noone ever brought up where L, was for all those months. Her son found her in the 90s. My aunt hadnt spoken about it for 40 years until he contacted her. Her kids, sisters, spouse--noone knew. The shame women were forced to hold on to is heartbreaking. The repeal of Roe v Wade is tragic. bald spothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10619364504304343222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23637874168068953782020-10-24T00:53:59.455-04:002020-10-24T00:53:59.455-04:00Katie, take a look at FMF's Resources page. S...Katie, take a look at FMF's Resources page. Some places that may help your Aunt in her search. Your Aunt can meet other first parents and learn their experiences through Contacting Concerned United Birthprents (CUB). <br /><br />As for me, my daughter who was also born in San Francisco contacted me in 1997 when she was 31. There's been ups and downs but we have a good relationship now.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-20055958569510099782020-10-23T14:56:18.986-04:002020-10-23T14:56:18.986-04:00...and in case my email isn't shown under my p......and in case my email isn't shown under my profile, here it is:<br /><br />kathryn.a.corr@gmail.com<br /><br />Thank you so very muchKatieCorrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08076563122251200441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-39592677270201349622020-10-23T14:55:22.765-04:002020-10-23T14:55:22.765-04:00My Aunt was in one of these homes in San Francisco...My Aunt was in one of these homes in San Francisco during 1965. She was sent there by her parents and had no desire to give up her child. There she and the other women were physically abused by nuns, some were sexually abused. They were treated like slaves doing menial tasks (like scrubbing toilets and showers with their toothbrush). When she had her daughter, she was allowed to hold her for a few moments. Then a woman came in with a form saying she had to sign it because it would put her daughter in a foster home until she could get on her feet. She never saw her daughter again. This has destroyed my Aunt. A few years later, my Aunt gave birth to my wonderful, amazing, (everybody's) favorite cousin. He was biracial and my Aunt was heavily discriminated against, so she fled Michigan, worked her butt off to buy 2 plane tickets and took her son and her to Hawaii. They had the most wonderful life for 23 years in Hawaii. They were absolutely best friends. My cousin was such an exceptional person that even my racist grandparents fell in love with him. Sadly, my cousin died tragically at 23 and my Aunt witnessed it. Now my Aunt is over 70 years old and I honestly don't know how she made it this far. She's such a strong and incredible woman. She has been searching for her daughter ever since 1965 and cannot find her anywhere. I have done loads of research and I cannot find her anywhere. Please, if you can offer me any advice, shoot me an email. My Aunt wants to at least know what happened to her daughter, whether that news is good or bad. We have done DNA tests and nothing connects. Her daughter was born April 15 1965 at St Elizabeth (children's?) in San Francisco. Her adoption was through Catholic Services. If you were there during that time, I would be forever grateful if you would reach out to me even if just tell me what your experience was like. My Aunt has been having serious health issues over the past year and I so want this for her while she is still with us. Thank you so muchKatieCorrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08076563122251200441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-72123759815283543412020-05-18T20:58:29.213-04:002020-05-18T20:58:29.213-04:00After graduating from high school in 1966, I disco...After graduating from high school in 1966, I discovered I was pregnant after breaking up with my boyfriend of three years. At that time, options were limited for girls and mother went looking for a way to help me. After a failed attempt (thank goodness) to seek a solution in Mexico, or telling a local doctor that I'd kill myself if I went thru with the pregnancy, a meeting with a private attorney who connected young girls with infertile parents, to being told that "I was a horrible person & a sinner" by a nun from a Catholic organization - well, that just touched a nerve in my mother (I of course felt awful) so after defending me, we left. In the car, she reassured me that she would find a place where I would feel safe and supported during my pregnancy so I could make a clear decision whether to keep the baby or not. I don't recall how my mother discovered Florence Crittenton in San Francisco but, I've never forgotten how everyone I met made me feel - safe & supported. I spend the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy there and I'm so thankful for that opportunity. Staff connected me with a doctor at University of California San Francisco Medical Center, I learned how to get around the City using public transit, provided classes on nutrition and what to expect before and after delivery. There were individual and group counseling sessions which were an invaluable part of the whole experience. It was truly a life-changing experience for me. Getting to know the other girls/women at the Home, what brought them there, their hopes and expectations - it made you feel that you weren't alone in your struggles or more importantly, made you think about what you wanted for your baby. My son Matthew was delivered on May 2, 1967, and we reunited in 2016. His father and I remained friends up until he passed away from complications due to a stroke less than a month before I found our son. Ours was a rocky relationship for many years but we always hoped we'd find him - unfortunately, our son never got to meet him. I've been lucky to share so much about him, our love, my decision to choose adoption, and the experiences I had along the way. I was fortunate to meet his birth mother before she passed away a year ago and I especially cherish the last few conversations we had. She knew I was very cautious about not wanting to overshadow her relationship with him (or her other children) so she told me, not to worry and that "there's enough love all around - I was lucky enough to be his mom for the first fifty years and now you can be his mom for the next fifty". What a gift.<br /><br /> Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376095588099689478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-2145602131689960852019-11-21T06:10:04.243-05:002019-11-21T06:10:04.243-05:00I too was at at brighton from 9/1975 - 1/1976 and ...I too was at at brighton from 9/1975 - 1/1976 and stayed for a few days with my daughter until we were allowed to go home.<br />I gave birth at Boston Lying In.<br />I was 1 of maybe a handful of girls during that time that kept her baby.<br />The folks at the house were supportive and helpful.<br />Providing us with basic living skills.<br />Although it was a sad and difficult time, I would not change my decision to go to the house. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02014437894813795742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-54270409824913032362017-01-04T19:56:49.614-05:002017-01-04T19:56:49.614-05:00Thanks for the update on the SF Crittenton Home. I...Thanks for the update on the SF Crittenton Home. I did not stay there but I went there for advice just before my daughter was born in 1966. It was the only institution connected with adoption that I had heard of. <br /><br />Contact the Crittenton home and ask if they have records on your mother. Here's the link to their reunion registry. http://www.florencecrittentonhome.com/Index.html Let us know what you find out.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-20931064919174473082017-01-04T19:00:47.595-05:002017-01-04T19:00:47.595-05:00I was not adopted, I was raised by my single mothe...I was not adopted, I was raised by my single mother. Recently I found out that my mother was an unwed mother in the mid 1950's. The address of the Crittenton House was on my birth certificate. I had googled the address before but nothing much came up and the original building had been torn down. To make a long story short the name on my birth certificate of the father is a dead end and I presume fictitious. Through DNA I was recently contacted by what would probably be my birth father's niece. My mother and him have both passed so answers are hard to come by. Searching I found the address in a San Francisco city directory and listed as the Critteton Florence Home. Googled the name and the rest as they say...My question is: would they still have records from that far back? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-46633276484216480442016-03-04T22:09:00.059-05:002016-03-04T22:09:00.059-05:00Contact Florence Crittenton's national office....Contact Florence Crittenton's national office. They may be able to help you. http://www.nationalcrittenton.org/<br /><br />Also, check out FMF's Resources page for information that can help you search. The link is on the right-hand sidebar. We wish you well in your search. Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-82438193907896768202016-03-04T17:58:53.472-05:002016-03-04T17:58:53.472-05:00I was at the Brighton home in 1970. I gave birth a...I was at the Brighton home in 1970. I gave birth at Boston-Lying -in for women and now trying to find my child. I had an ok experience but did not to be there in the first place. However, my mom would have suffered loss of face at the hospital she worked at if I have given birth there. I want to find my daughter and just keep running into dead ends. The Hospital is a different name and I don't know if Crittenton keeps records that far back. Can you shed some light on if they do keep records ? I had my high school ring stolen from my dorm and when Dr's came to speak to the girls he made the statement that more than 1/2 the girls would be back. I challenged him on that comment and was an outspoken person most of the time. Not sure they liked me very much. Don't really care, I just want to get information from them. Can you help?Dragonfly#2https://www.blogger.com/profile/10952011985334557489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-87598483529490806012016-03-04T17:58:28.113-05:002016-03-04T17:58:28.113-05:00I was here in March 1970 and gave birth in June. I...I was here in March 1970 and gave birth in June. I did not want to go here but it would have been very awkward for my mom to have me at home. I was 18 and was not prepared to raise a child in any fashion. I thought what I did at the time was the best for my daughter. However, I did put up a small argument that my daughter was not to go into foster care but to leave the hospital with a family. I would not sign her papers unless i knew for a fact that would happen. I'm sure they did not like that very much and my social worker was annoyed i'm sure. But I'm now trying to find my daughter and have discussed this with my family they are all ok with it. I don't know if my daughter would be fine with it, but i would love the opportunity to give her that choice to meet me or not. I have tried numerous times to find out the birth records with no success. The hospital has since changed names and I don't know if Crittenton keeps records that far back. Any suggestions would be welcome. Thank you. Dragonfly#2https://www.blogger.com/profile/10952011985334557489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-39725571604839599862016-03-04T17:47:53.906-05:002016-03-04T17:47:53.906-05:00I was at the Brighton home in 1970. I gave birth a...I was at the Brighton home in 1970. I gave birth at Boston-Lying -in for women and now trying to find my child. I had an ok experience but did not to be there in the first place. However, my mom would have suffered loss of face at the hospital she worked at if I have given birth there. I want to find my daughter and just keep running into dead ends. The Hospital is a different name and I don't know if Crittenton keeps records that far back. Can you shed some light on if they do keep records ? I had my high school ring stolen from my dorm and when Dr's came to speak to the girls he made the statement that more than 1/2 the girls would be back. I challenged him on that comment and was an outspoken person most of the time. Not sure they liked me very much. Don't really care, I just want to get information from them. Can you help?Dragonfly#2https://www.blogger.com/profile/10952011985334557489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-35464935008392658512012-09-07T14:41:50.602-04:002012-09-07T14:41:50.602-04:00I also "resided" in Brighton one summer,...I also "resided" in Brighton one summer, and contrary to the posts' I've read about, the staff was wonderful and supportive.Almost all the posts I've seen, say the birth moms wanted to keep their babies.That's not what I saw. Most, nearly all,thought adoption was the right choice for them.I clearly remember one woman that had given birth and was back at the home, arguing with her parents, because they wanted her to keep the baby, but she was adamant about giving him up.Another womens' boyfriend came home from the service on leave, and wanted to take her out and get married, and she said no.There were a few that would have liked to parent, but didn't have the support they needed.<br />Sue b.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-57194194445150144872012-07-14T19:52:02.907-04:002012-07-14T19:52:02.907-04:00I resided at a Crittenton House in Brighton, MA in...I resided at a Crittenton House in Brighton, MA in 1960. Much as I didn't want to, I surrendered my daughter for adoption, as it seemed the best thing I could do for HER. I always felt that the staff at Crittenton were so supportive as to make that time almost bearable. At no time was I pressured to give up my baby. I was offered counseling every step of the way. They even secured free legal assistance for me that convinced the birthfather to share my expenses. <br /><br />I have recently published a novel based on my experience in which Crittenton House comes off as a mainly supportive environment. Check out it out at Amazon:: Intermission: A First Mother's Story.<br /><br />Recently, while doing research for this book, I visited the same Crittenton in Brighton to refresh my memory. I was so pleased to see that now their main purpose is to assist young women who want to keep their babies.Betsey Norlandnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-66557729446804521852012-06-03T13:59:17.319-04:002012-06-03T13:59:17.319-04:00Me too, Janet... I didn't "want" to...Me too, Janet... I didn't "want" to sign, but I did...<br /><br />She had a heart condition, and I had no medical insurance and no place to go... unfortunately, they did NOT tell us "other" options! Just sign...Leenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90706041055713114002012-06-02T10:32:49.848-04:002012-06-02T10:32:49.848-04:00After reading this post I can't help but wonde...After reading this post I can't help but wonder to this day why we just resigned ourselves to the fate that we couldn't raise our own child. I am sure that many went down fighting but as much as I knew I didn't want to sign, I did.<br /> And as Jane said they just assumed that is what we wanted and didn't really bother to tell us there may have been another way.Janetnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-20032276725995522682012-06-01T19:09:35.671-04:002012-06-01T19:09:35.671-04:00Gail, Robin,
You're right. I doubt that all t...Gail, Robin,<br /><br />You're right. I doubt that all these young women "wanted" to place their babies. I think "wanted" was the word the social worker used. I suspect many of these young women were like me, resigned to their fate. The SWs assumed that adoption was their choice and didn't bother to explore other options with them.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-12809675064097396222012-06-01T17:50:48.277-04:002012-06-01T17:50:48.277-04:00@Robin - Thank you for taking the time to question...@Robin - Thank you for taking the time to question the use of the word "wanting" in reference to losing a child to adoption. I suspect it's very rare for any woman to "want" adoption for her child. I personally don't know a single one.Gailnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-78069015507412327672012-06-01T12:03:31.532-04:002012-06-01T12:03:31.532-04:00"... that San Francisco was swamped with sing..."... that San Francisco was swamped with single pregnant women wanting to place their babies for adoption"<br /><br />I wonder if WANTING is really the operative word here. Should be more like, had no other choice. Also, how telling that there were so many of these facilities in the country with so many unmarried pregnant women and yet society was still pretending that sex was only for marriage.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-81259263112836883092012-06-01T11:30:10.446-04:002012-06-01T11:30:10.446-04:00I was not pregnant when I was in Paterdale (a Crit...I was not pregnant when I was in Paterdale (a Crittenton home in Phoenix, AZ), but I remember it well. I was a young girl, age 12. The pregnant girls were so sad and the nuns and staff there were so very unkind. <br /><br />I stayed there for over 3 weeks as a child waiting to be returned to home or placed in foster care. I will never forget the girls... the young mothers.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com