tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post5915253058396595635..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Would updated medical information have saved my daughter's life?Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-6092230941294433162010-09-10T00:58:11.918-04:002010-09-10T00:58:11.918-04:00People die every day because mean, selfish, apathe...People die every day because mean, selfish, apathetic people sealed birth records and keep them sealed.medical malpracticehttp://www.medicalnegligenceie.com/medical-malpractice/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-82883025144480370502009-10-21T17:31:17.601-04:002009-10-21T17:31:17.601-04:00I continue to be disgusted by the callousness show...I continue to be disgusted by the callousness shown by the adoption industry's secretkeepers. Apparently their secrets are more important than other people's lives. That says a lot about whether they are acting in the best interests of mothers and adoptees... or themselves.Triona Guidryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00969598333210972017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-26243910342205981422009-10-21T08:00:20.191-04:002009-10-21T08:00:20.191-04:00Lorraine,
Your story is maddening. The agency was...Lorraine,<br /><br />Your story is maddening. The agency was withholding vital information regarding the health and well-being of a child. They were negligent, it would seem. If privacy was an issue, then the information could have been shared with the a-family and the doctor anonymously.<br /><br />The thought of little Jane wearing a hockey helmet to school is heartbreaking. What I don't understand is why the adoptive parents weren't demanding that the agency contact you for health information. Wouldn't knowing that the doctor wanted information from you be enough cause for extreme concern? <br /><br />Something could have been done to help Jane with the seizures had people actually used their brains and put logic ahead of fear; instead they protected the adoption system's barbaric secrecy proviso.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13757981963159861606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-10513329325693329142009-10-20T17:55:01.638-04:002009-10-20T17:55:01.638-04:00Me: sick/allergies out of control
Computer/interne...Me: sick/allergies out of control<br />Computer/internet connection: sicker.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-1803647400573375562009-10-19T17:00:03.575-04:002009-10-19T17:00:03.575-04:00Dear Eliza
Many mothers were told not to look for...Dear Eliza<br /><br />Many mothers were told not to look for their children because they were told that they would mentally and emotionally destroy the adoptee. <br /><br />Many mothers were told to sit and wait to be found. <br /><br />Many mothers just don't feel they are worthy of their children.<br /><br />Many older mothers may not understand how to use the Internet to search. <br /><br />Many mothers believe that they don't have the right to search.<br /><br />Most mothers want to be reunited but they are afraid of hurting the adoptee, afraid that they are not good enough or feeling so shamed by their families that they don't know how to - but most want to. <br /><br />I had the reverse situation.<br /><br />My son did not look for me.<br /><br />Long story short - I managed to find him and asked him why he didn't look for me.<br /><br />He said that he thought that I would be disappointed that he was not a doctor or lawyer - how sad.<br /><br />However, he was very happy that I found him and I have not been disappointed. I am in fact very proud of him and his accomplishments. <br /><br />Some people such as my son want to be found but they don't search for a whole list of reasons.<br /><br />I hope that brings some comfort and understanding to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-20822621473827646102009-10-18T20:37:38.037-04:002009-10-18T20:37:38.037-04:00Eliza,
I think it is most unlikely your birthmoth...Eliza,<br /><br />I think it is most unlikely your birthmother does not want to be found. The birthmother hiding in the closet is largely a myth perpetrated by some adoptive parents and some segments of the adoption industry.<br /><br />Although you don't have any records, you can have a successful search. Check out the search tips on the Bastard Nation and the American Adoption congress websites. Register with the International Soundex Reunion Registry, ISRR.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-85373570114236625482009-10-16T10:48:02.977-04:002009-10-16T10:48:02.977-04:00Ugh, this makes my heart ache and me feel generall...Ugh, this makes my heart ache and me feel generally panicky. I was adopted in 1981 in NYS and only now, 28 years later have I found the courage to start the search for my origins. And I have been naively surprised to find...NOTHING. The adoption agency has somehow "lost" my records; the lawyer said even if he could give me my files without my AP's consent--which he can't--they were left at his old firm which has a policy of destroying files after 10 years. I was 10 years old when my files were potentially all burned up!! <br /><br />Thankfully I am very healthy--good teeth and everything ;). But my husband and I are thinking about having our own children and all the books say, "talk to your mother about her labor experience." Sadly, that is not helpful in my case. I understand NYS wanting to give people a "right to privacy", but there is no "right to absolute secrecy" which agencies seem to love to grant. <br /><br />On the other hand, I am very nervous that my own natural mother is not like you and does not want to be found. Maybe she is that woman whom all APs seem to think the mother of their child is: emotionally distant and incapable of wanting their child.<br /><br />Thank you so much for your writings!! Please keep up the good work!eliza maynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-10618430443176200622009-10-16T08:07:30.519-04:002009-10-16T08:07:30.519-04:00DES was also given to mothers to stop their breast...DES was also given to mothers to stop their breast milk. That would be a double whammy of DES if the mother had taken this drug during pregnancy to prevent miscarriage.<br /><br />According to the US Department of Toxicology, DES is more toxic than mustard gas and it is known to be a cancer causing agent.<br /><br />In 1978, the FDA removed postpartum lactation suppression to prevent breast engorgement from their approved indications for DES. <br /><br />DES is now only allowed to be used in cases where the person already has cancer (mainly advanced prostate cancer and advanced breast cancer in post-menopausal women).<br /><br />Mothers who were given DES for all of the above reasons have a higher rate of breast cancer which often does not appear until later in life.<br /><br />There is another thing that would have increased DES ingestion which would be a third whammy to any mother who had it during pregnancy to stop miscarriage and milk.<br /><br />During the 1960s DES was used as a growth hormone in the beef and poultry industry. It was later found to cause cancer and was phased out in the late 1970s.<br /><br />And people wonder why the cancer rate is soaring among the elderly.<br /><br />The Journal of Clinical Oncology predicts a 67 percent increase in the number of adults age-65-or-older diagnosed with cancer, from 1 million in 2010 to 1.6 million in 2030 in the US.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-74804567797831456142009-10-15T09:30:14.995-04:002009-10-15T09:30:14.995-04:00Adoptees die every day from diseases/conditions th...Adoptees die every day from diseases/conditions that medical history could have provided the necessary information to find a cure, to get a "closer" examination, or to get the proper medication to sustain life. <br /><br />People die every day because mean, selfish, apathetic people sealed birth records and keep them sealed.<br /><br />I'm so sorry about your daughter. Both of you were treated like "industry" discards given no human rights, no compassion. As if human relationships are any business of the "state" or any profitting "industry".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-29390273772927143232009-10-14T23:20:51.574-04:002009-10-14T23:20:51.574-04:00Lorraine, I understand your pain. My mother was t...Lorraine, I understand your pain. My mother was taking DES (1961, MI) when she was pregnant with me, also something that was to supposedly make sure I was a boy. She had a plan and girl boy girl boy was it - I was definitely not a boy. <br /><br />When I got pregnant, I was terrified. I had been on the pill and had been treated 90 days prior to conception for cervical cancer (probably caused by the DES and other drugs). When I was 9 months an a couple of weeks pregnant, I got really scared and did all the things that they said would help induce labor - moved furniture, drank nasty fish oil, anything anyone had told me. NOTHING. Finally, on her father's birthday they took me into the hospital (she was now 5 days from being an 11th month baby). They discovered that I was indeed in the beginning stages of labor and that the baby was in trouble.<br /><br />Someone must have loved me, because after a 5 more days of them attempting to induce (ha ha) labor into a later stage, there was nothing. The head of obstetrics entered my labor room and talked to me for a minute. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. She told me either they did a c-section or we would both die. <br /><br />The hemotologist had to redo my blood line (they gave me the wrong blood) and they broke my water. The minute my blood show occured I could feel what I had not been feeling. OMG it hurt. I would not dialate. Apparently the cryosurgery had damaged my cervix (I thought). <br /><br />Needless to say we both survived. But, after reunion, I found out that my daughter had the same exact problem with dialation. She had both her children c-section. <br /><br />So, I wonder if I have another thing to "thank" my mother for.....<br /><br />Too bad my daughter had no medical history. Even though her adoptive parents had a complete record of her birth. Always the lies.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.com