tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post617273542975720885..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Baby Veronica: Brown released on bail for second timeLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-57931194698800926862013-09-07T14:41:31.480-04:002013-09-07T14:41:31.480-04:00I was adopted as an infant by people who are much ...I was adopted as an infant by people who are much like the Copabiancos. My aparents are incredibly wealthy people, not bad people, just very self centered. In hindsight I blamed myself that I could not be what I felt like I should be for them....I dressed like my mother, decorated my house like her, went to my dad's college. I had to do these things to fit in.<br /><br />When I finally met my father at age 46 things really began to change for me...lo and behold, I was so much like HIM. It was not my fault after all. <br /><br />It is very hard for me to think about Veronica...I have a real kinship with my father...I finally know what family feels like...and I think she has that already where she is and she may lose that...and just like my family, infertile people wanted a baby and she has not choice. I wish we had a time machine to fast forward and see what her life will be like both with her dad and family and with the Copabiancos...I think I can forecast what would happen...law be damned....how many unjust laws have we been faced with? Just because a law exists does not mean it is just or right. Lee H.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-60364221632973730472013-09-07T14:30:33.423-04:002013-09-07T14:30:33.423-04:00Yo Oliver, thank you!
Dusten Brown is a champion ...Yo Oliver, thank you!<br /><br />Dusten Brown is a champion of father's rights, just as you say, and no matter what happens he will inspire other men to fight for their children when their mothers would give them to strangers. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-84663662720993798802013-09-07T12:30:49.121-04:002013-09-07T12:30:49.121-04:00scalia's dissent in the Supreme Court was bril...scalia's dissent in the Supreme Court was brilliant. Adoption has made odd bedfellows on the court and it could hardly be said that this is a conservative only issue. <br /><br />I'm an attorney that represents a lot of fathers and occasional mother, in these matters and I find them to be a heartbreaking riddle. <br /><br />I love this case. Db is a champion here whether he realizes it or not, there are those of us that are inspired by this traction and are willing to fight harder. Too many people have been duped too long by the adoption industry. Olivernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-52975694088362337342013-09-07T08:51:03.164-04:002013-09-07T08:51:03.164-04:00If the Capo's do succeed in getting custody of...If the Capo's do succeed in getting custody of Veronica, this case will have set an extremely frightening and dangerous precedent. It basically says that a non-genetically related couple can wave a few PAPERS at an unmarried parent and say "You HAVE to give us your child. You have NO say. We have MORE rights than you do. And if you don't hand her over, you will go to prison." This sounds like some kind of Orwellian nightmare to me.<br /><br />The United States could be a great country, but we seem to have lost our moral compass.<br /><br />@Anon 6:54pm,<br />The South Carolina Governor did send an extradition order and Gov. Mary Fallin of Oklahoma recently signed it. She had originally said that she wouldn't sign it as long as Dusten Brown tried to work with the C's. The Brown camp says they had offered the Capo's the opportunity to see Veronica but they refused. The Browns are justifiably wary that the minute the Capo's get their hands on Veronica they will whisk her away to SC, never to be seen by the Browns again.<br /><br />KEEP VERONICA HOME!Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-62107759412500921572013-09-07T08:19:39.721-04:002013-09-07T08:19:39.721-04:00Oh, I am still hoping with every fiber in my being...Oh, I am still hoping with every fiber in my being that Dusten Brown gets to raise his little girl and that Veronica gets to be raised by her daddy. But in my heart, I am sick with the feeling that after the Supreme Court ruling, and the quick response of the South Carolina court in the Capobiancos favor, it is more unlikely than ever. However, if there is a hearing that has to do with the "best interests" of the child, and the Cherokee court can prevail (it is hard to imagine that they would decide to take her from her daddy), I fear for the worst: that she is given to genetic strangers, Matt and Melanie Copabiancos. <br /><br />Yet you will find on adoptive message boards people who are cheering like crazy for them. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-69638389422732524982013-09-07T08:01:27.243-04:002013-09-07T08:01:27.243-04:00What kind of people must the Capobiancos be, that ...What kind of people must the Capobiancos be, that they could be doing this, continuing this fight? They must be pretty heartless is all I can say. I'm just heartsick about this case. But I am still holding out hope that there will be a positive outcome, and Veronica will get to stay with her father.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06222871697045360999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-69083287376293239522013-09-06T22:07:25.623-04:002013-09-06T22:07:25.623-04:00Having seen how much my own son suffered when he w...Having seen how much my own son suffered when he was separated (permanently) from his birthmother when he was three years old, I would implore the Capobiancos to give up their fight to wrest Veronica away from her father. I consider adopting my little boy to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me, but I am sorry for my son's sake he has had to mourn his birthmother. It would be unconscionable for the Capobiancos to tear Veronica away from her family at this point. Further, if they "win" Veronica now, they surely will lose her later, when she realizes that THEY inflicted this pain on her. (I believe the reason my son has been able to bond so well with me is that I was not part of the process of his being separated from his mother, and, as he grows older, the facts will support his instincts.) If I knew the Capobiancos, I'd urge them to sign away their rights to Veronica in exchange for the chance to build a friendship with Veronica's whole family. If they really love Veronica, they would be happy to visit her in Oklahoma and to have Veronica (and her sister) visit them in South Carolina. It would not be the life the Capobiancos had planned, but it would be a life with far less suffering for Veronica.Ginger Hayesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-193740308705492832013-09-06T21:02:20.598-04:002013-09-06T21:02:20.598-04:00Some positive news -- orphanages in Moldova and ot...Some positive news -- orphanages in Moldova and other countries are shrinking and closing. These countries, Moldova, Romania, Georgia, and Rwanda have learned what the US has learned over the past 80 years -- that orphanages and institutions for children with disabilities are harmful to children. Most of the children in orphanages have families and children do much better staying with their families. Helping families is far cheaper than running orphanages.<br /><br />From "The Economist" 8/17/13 <a href="http://www.economist.com/news/international/21583665-orphanages-are-closing-not-quickly-enough-nanny-state" rel="nofollow">The Nanny State: Orphanages are closing , but not quickly enough</a>Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-8222693115055447852013-09-06T18:54:53.136-04:002013-09-06T18:54:53.136-04:00"In South Carolina the penalty for custodial ..."In South Carolina the penalty for custodial interference is a 5 year prison term. How on earth did our country get to a place where a man can be sentenced to prison for raising, providing for, protecting and loving his OWN CHILD?"<br /><br />If the penalty is 5 years it sounds like a felony. I'm pretty sure the U.S. states have to extradite intrastate for a felony, once a request is made by a Gov., according to the US Constitution. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-28428905303354986472013-09-06T17:58:58.464-04:002013-09-06T17:58:58.464-04:00Change of venue and time for peaceful protest in S...Change of venue and time for peaceful protest in South Carolina.<br />Saturday, Sept 7th, at 1pm in Columbia, SC.<br /><br />https://www.facebook.com/events/525725224187048/?ref=3Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-30763560454577209852013-09-06T17:41:21.217-04:002013-09-06T17:41:21.217-04:00In South Carolina the penalty for custodial interf...In South Carolina the penalty for custodial interference is a 5 year prison term. How on earth did our country get to a place where a man can be sentenced to prison for raising, providing for, protecting and loving his OWN CHILD? <br /><br />We hear so much about deadbeat dads and yet here is a man who may be punished for stepping up to the plate. Dusten Brown had his first daughter after two years of marriage to his first wife. He was engaged when Ronnie was conceived and he wants to be responsible for her. He strikes me as far less flighty and commitment-phobic that many men of his generation. Hardly the loser, slime bucket that the other side is portraying him to be.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-18240844990752825222013-09-06T16:55:29.405-04:002013-09-06T16:55:29.405-04:00
I am not familiar with intrastate extradition law...<br />I am not familiar with intrastate extradition law, but I suspect the answer to the question about jail time relates closely to that issue.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-72806043692639040272013-09-06T16:31:08.182-04:002013-09-06T16:31:08.182-04:00Let's not give up. It's not over yet. I ag...Let's not give up. It's not over yet. I agree that the tide is turning. I'm seeing more and more articles and comments that side with Dusten Brown. Anyone with a conscience can see that you don't have to go to such lengths to steal a child from a perfectly fit biological parent.<br /><br />I don't think Ronnie will be okay if she is, in fact, adopted. I think she will be destroyed by it. She may not show it in public, but remember, in the not too distant future, she will be able to read and understand all of the horrible things the Capos and their supporters and their legal representatives have said about HER father. And yes, Dusten Brown will always be her father. There is no piece of paper on earth that can change that. Just think, she will have to try to love and respect her adopters (not parents) when she knows that they trashed her own father in front of the whole world. My APs have never said a disparaging word about my natural parents. And my natural mother has never said a bad word about them. As it should be.<br /><br />Have you noticed that the Capo supporters keep trotting out the same old tired argument about how Dusten acted 4 plus years ago? That's because they have nothing else. They all know perfectly well that Ronnie is safe and loved to pieces.<br /><br />There is such a cute picture of Dusten and Veronica reading "Green Eggs and Ham". Personally, I think "Hop on Pop" would be a better selecton. That little girl loves to snuggle with her daddy like there's no tomorrow. I just don't see that happening with Matt C if he does manage to 'legally' kidnap her. There is one picture of Veronica on Matt's lap and while she is smiling, she is also pulling away from him. Nothing like she is with her REAL daddy. <br /><br />Adoption, the gift that keeps on destroying.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-84613757137291234472013-09-06T10:41:18.652-04:002013-09-06T10:41:18.652-04:00Thanks for the link to the Haire of the Dog articl...Thanks for the link to the Haire of the Dog article, theadoptedones. It is a good article that reflects my own feelings. <br /><br />I don't understand understand why the virulence that is coming from so many (from both sides). I wish people would be merciful and understand that Veronica would want to stay with her father, who she should have been able to be with from early on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-90022088784167229012013-09-06T09:17:52.212-04:002013-09-06T09:17:52.212-04:00All of these comments saying it basically over and...All of these comments saying it basically over and he will lose his daughter to these vultures make my heart sink to the pit of my stomach. He STILL has her. Lets not give up on him and any natural family who has to endure this horrific injustice all because some stranger cant become pregnant...PhoenixRisinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07655924058370540037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-58013312522031886032013-09-05T21:42:26.591-04:002013-09-05T21:42:26.591-04:00I think we care so much because we understand the ...I think we care so much because we understand the horrid cost to Ronnie if she is given to the adoptive couple. Any mother that relinquished because she was told that her child was better off with two parents, and then found out that her child cried for her most evenings, knows that adoption is a life sentence for a child. I really don't care about Dustin Brown all that much. I give him credit for doing right by his daughter. But it's Ronnie that keeps me up at night. Sure she'll survive with the C's. Most of us get through adoption loss one way or the other. But WHY? Why does she have to cry herself to sleep. The C's think it will end in a couple months. I think they are ca-ra-zy. She will cry out for her father and her family at different times in her life, her whole life. Please Lord, change adoption law in our country. It's the children who turn into adults that are paying the price. Darn shame.Barbara Thavishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646036820037271522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-43855171089213018872013-09-05T21:23:09.841-04:002013-09-05T21:23:09.841-04:00Sometimes it takes "obtuse" thinking to ...Sometimes it takes "obtuse" thinking to reconcile law and justice. The two are not always synonymous. Without what was at one point deemed "obtuse" thinking, we never would have seen cases like "Brown vs. the Board of Education," (desegregation in schools), "Loving vs. Virginia" (right to marry interracially), "Griswold v. Connecticut" (right to plan the birth of one's children) and many other seminal cases come to pass. I am sure Rosa Parks was considered "obtuse" in her day for having the nerve to think maybe she shouldn't always have to sit at the back of the bus, just as Dusten Brown is currently considered audacious for having the nerve to think he should be able to continue to raise his biological daughter in their home.<br /><br />The optimist in me says that the "Baby Veronica" case is turning the tide of social consciousness, creating an awareness that the law does not necessarily protect a child's interests in the best possible way. The gap between the numbers of Dusten Brown vs. Capobianco supporters is narrowing and I believe one of the reasons that is happening is because many people see an injustice, an unnecessary abrogation of Veronica's fundamental right to her biological family.<br /><br />All the maligners of Dusten Brown (and there have been some terribly mean, sometimes libelous things said) cannot explain this basic disparity: even if Dusten Brown is indeed all of those things, even if he did indeed abandon Veronica's biological mother, that behavior did not come close to meeting the standards that states apply to terminate the parental rights of children in foster care. The states give the parents of children in foster care many chances to rehabilitate because they recognize the importance, to a child, of being with a fit biological family. For the law to apply a completely different standard, a low threshold for terminating the rights of an unwed father when the biological mother voluntarily relinquishes their child, is a disparity that has got to be addressed. If anything, it should be a LOT harder to terminate parental rights in a situation that does not involve a protective issue (child protective services) than it is for cases in foster care.<br /><br />I too do not think Dusten Brown will prevail because the Capobiancos will hound him into submitting to the law - a law that is unjust (barring a miraculous opening up of the Capobiancos' hearts and understanding about adoption). I can only hope that Veronica's high profile case serves as the nucleus for legal and social reform. I can only hope that, one day, we will have a different kind of "Adoptive Parents vs. Baby" case, one that applies a more uniform, more forgiving standard that parents must meet in order to keep their children; one that recognizes the tremendous value, to a child, of being raised by his/her biological family as long as that family is taking care of and keeping the child safe.Jay Iyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01592280612055255470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-36394402378599562912013-09-05T18:09:20.342-04:002013-09-05T18:09:20.342-04:00We may hope that at least some young mothers will ...We may hope that at least some young mothers will learn in time from all the media attention that adopters include some really bad people. You know, always looking for the silver lining of the thundercloud.Theodorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14634057445114838262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-8926869321038668512013-09-05T18:08:16.639-04:002013-09-05T18:08:16.639-04:00Lorraine,
You will enjoy this post...
http://www...Lorraine,<br /><br />You will enjoy this post...<br /><br />http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/HaireoftheDog/archives/2013/09/05/the-capobiancos-should-stop-fighting-for-custody-of-baby-veronica<br /><br />theadoptedonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23348363605501290962013-09-05T16:48:14.017-04:002013-09-05T16:48:14.017-04:00Kellie, Margie, my heart is in my gut as I read an...Kellie, Margie, my heart is in my gut as I read and write about Dusten Brown and Veronica. I am sure it will be day of many tears, no matter who wins. But it is impossible to have any sympathy for the Capobiancos, who should have folded their tents once they realized that Veronica had a father who was willing and wanted to raise her. Their actions are unconscionable. <br />Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55949802880910844252013-09-05T16:23:49.120-04:002013-09-05T16:23:49.120-04:00That commenter, like many who come down for the Co...That commenter, like many who come down for the Copobiancos, mistakes law for justice, and wrong for right.<br /><br />There is simply no moral way that this adoption can be justified. Those lobbying for the adoption can quibble all they want about legal technicalities, but the fact is that this man has tried from the start to be a father to his little girl.<br /><br />Many things disturb me about this case, but I think the worst is the fact that the Copobiancos have found a way to justify proceeding. I honestly do not know how they will look the adult Veronica in the eye and square their actions with her.<br />Margie Perscheidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231774423690681167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-27236240081520422972013-09-05T16:16:21.148-04:002013-09-05T16:16:21.148-04:00My daughter and I have been following this story c...My daughter and I have been following this story closely on Facebook, too. When one sees a new update, she informs the other. It has brought home to both of us the feelings of losing her daughter, my granddaughter, to adoption. Maybe because of our loss, I too believe Dusten Brown will lose in the end. I don't want to say that, but I've seen so many natural parents lose their children it seems impossible to imagine a different outcome. I hope I am wrong. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07165737918653065179noreply@blogger.com