tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post6914125629537658425..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: NJ Bill Voted out of committee to full Assembly. At bleeping last.Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-66879518248526217292010-06-18T16:12:38.046-04:002010-06-18T16:12:38.046-04:00Boy, Cully, this woman is a whackjob. Could she b...Boy, Cully, this woman is a whackjob. Could she be Elaine's birthsource? But I do see she posts on other topics.Marley Greinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15184124024369071862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38203266274884776532010-06-17T16:16:58.206-04:002010-06-17T16:16:58.206-04:00Marley,
I do believe that the Face Book lady can b...Marley,<br />I do believe that the Face Book lady can be found at <br />http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/06/nj_assembly_committee_approves_5/1607/comments-2.html#postComment <br />she's posting as Nora's Tea Party.CullyRaynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-28669629566927199902010-06-17T15:21:10.574-04:002010-06-17T15:21:10.574-04:00Lorraine,
You are dead on. I sat in the committee ...Lorraine,<br />You are dead on. I sat in the committee room for the entire hearing, having been a subject in Jean Strauss' film "For the Life of Me".. That damn adoptee who had the audacity to speak out against the bill got my dander up too. After listening to her pine over how much she loved her adoptive parents and didn't want to hurt them by looking for her natural parents (I struggled with that years ago myself prior to having my own children), I finally asked her when she was done if she, in fact had children of her own to which she answered no and likely never will! No small wonder she opposes the bill and doesn't care about her own family medical history..If this legislation passes, I would suggest she could find her birth parents without even mentioning it to her adoptive parents..I did just that myself..I would also suggest that once the legislation passes, she will likely reconsider searching for her own birth parents (something I also did :).<br />I have three children of my own and that is one of the primary reasons I searched for my own birth parents when the law passed in Massachusetts less than 3 years ago. Found my mother, four years too late, as she had already passed away at the age of 85, but was able to get her medical history, which is of great value to me and to my own children! Haven't found my birth father yet, but am getting close. Also found out that my birth mom who lived and died in Maine, had been searching for me (her only child)as well...surely would have enjoyed a wonderful reunion had our legislation passed four years earlier than it did..The folks from adoption agencies around the country had never had a legal or moral right to grant privacy or anonomity to birth parents giving up their children for adoption, nor should they be allowed to do so moving forward..part of the reason why Catholic Charities and similar groups are opposed to this bill, as the Catholic orphanages and adoption homes that I know of here in Massachusetts seemingly guaranteed privacy to birth parents over the past six or more decades. In addition, they also want the money to continue to flow into their coffers as a result of assisting adoptees with their searches. Also noticed from those who spoke at the hearings the following: For adoptees to reunite with their birth families, each group that opposed wanted to be part of the reunion (get this! when each spoke: Catholic Charities wanted a mediator in the room, the ACLU wanted a counselor in the room, while the State Bar Assoc. wanted a lawyer in the room!!!.)...sound familiar? likely because they all seem to want to keep their hand in the till (or in the adoptees pocket!) It's an outrage..This bill needs to be signed into legislation in New Jersey, just as it has been into several other states over the past decade. I have already written my letter to New Jersey's governor imploring him to sign this bill, once the full Assembly passes it, and put this long overdue legislation into place for New Jersey adoptees and birth families, and I suggest that anyone who reads this might consider doing the same..Thanks again for Lorraine...well done<br />DKAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47305955273824397842010-06-16T20:23:02.954-04:002010-06-16T20:23:02.954-04:00I agree with you Lorraine, the adoptee who testifi...I agree with you Lorraine, the adoptee who testified that she doesn't like facebook and that she was adopted by "beautiful" people struck me as just a confused person who was acting on an impulse she didn't even understand. I mean doesn't she start out by saying that she is having company at her house? Also, I think at one point she mused that it may not be a bad bill.<br /><br />I think she was feeling her identity is threatened by knowing the truth. As someone who has been in reunion for a long-ass time, she is right. Her sense of self will probably be at the least greatly altered by knowing the truth.<br /><br />I almost didn't survive it, so I can have some sympathy for her. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, identity is well the basis for everything else. I mean that was what was really for sale in adoption, my identity. <br /><br />I am still glad I know.joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15658928829424953809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-7872746753882747652010-06-16T18:18:21.904-04:002010-06-16T18:18:21.904-04:00Lorraine,
I believe compromise is better than no ...Lorraine,<br /><br />I believe compromise is better than no compromise and no open records. Compromise is part of every aspect of life. It is what it is.<br /><br />Elaine was great and her testimony was excellent.<br /><br />I was also very pleased that the NJ Medical Associatin came out in favor of the bill with very strong language about adoptees not being able to access personalized medicine because of the closed records law. I would have been a perfect case study because my state is a closed records state as well and my medical care would have been as different as night and day if family medical history was available.<br /><br />61 adoptee whose records were opened AFTER my events...far to late.Sandynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-29661808782500621972010-06-16T17:31:20.362-04:002010-06-16T17:31:20.362-04:00What is saddest about this bill is that it has mad...What is saddest about this bill is that it has made no impression on our regular opponents or most of the NJ Press that all the concessions of vetoes, white-outs, medical records, sealing Safe Haven records permanently were made. Read the editorials, and the many ignorant comments of the general public. It is discouraging.<br /><br />I believe that a clean bill could have gotten just as far, and do not think this one will get past our Republican conservative Catholic governor. He is in the Bishops' back pocket and will jump when they say so.<br /><br />I really hope that if this bill fails a clean one rises again. It has been shown that all the compromises have not satisfied our enemies at all, nor impressed the press who regularly oppose us here. What the compromises have done is split the adoption reform community, and if passed, given birth parents rights we never had before and mostly do not want to prevent adoptees from obtaining real rights. <br /><br />The whole thing is just sad, and did not have to do down this way.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-41114386832641700442010-06-16T15:52:39.710-04:002010-06-16T15:52:39.710-04:00The adoptees who show up against this bill...they ...The adoptees who show up against this bill...they are like people who do not have motorcycles showing up to protest the motorcycle helmet law. WTF are they doing there? Why are they so fearful of letting other adopted people have their birth certificates? <br /><br />All I can think of is this is due to some demented reaction to being adopted and the need to externally express gratitude to one's adoptive parents. It's sick sick sick.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-86335424622075308122010-06-16T15:49:21.733-04:002010-06-16T15:49:21.733-04:00Because this post is an amended version of the pos...Because this post is an amended version of the post earlier that day o the NJ adoption-reform bill, you can also read comments on same subject under the previous post. <br /><br />Sorry about this, but I felt I wanted to expand on this. I continue to believe this bill, with it's one-year information veto window, is the best that is going to pass and it's a hell of a lot better than nothing.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-87909911710666053332010-06-16T12:11:36.364-04:002010-06-16T12:11:36.364-04:00My letter to the Star Ledger
eletters@starledger.c...My letter to the Star Ledger<br />eletters@starledger.com<br /><br />Here is the editorial I am responding to:<br />http://tinyurl.com/24g3q9o<br /><br />To the Editor:<br /><br />I am a mother who gave up a child for adoption in NJ. I resent your speaking for me and others like me in your recent editorial. Adopted adults should be able to request their original birth certificate just as we non-adopted citizens can, with no need for permission from anyone, including the natural mother.<br /><br />Sadly the bill now under consideration does not do this, so in its present form I cannot support it, much as I would like to be able to. There should be NO NEED to ask permission of me for my son to request his own original birth certificate if he wants it. Rather than worrying about notifying birthmothers about this bill, which will cost 90 thousand dollars at a time our state is in fiscal crisis, the bill should be amended so that adopted adults pay a nominal fee to vital statistics to request an uncertified copy of their OBC and get it, no extra cost to the state, no intrusion into personal relationships that can be worked out in private.<br /><br />I was never promised confidentiality or anything else by the state when I surrendered my son. He is an adult in his 40s now and should not have to ask my permission for anything. Nor should any exchange of private medical information between us have to go through a third party, the state. As adults we can handle that quite well on our own.<br /><br />Adoptees deserve the human right of access to their original birth certificate with no conditions or permission.<br /><br />maryannemaryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55938943389259189052010-06-16T09:42:20.933-04:002010-06-16T09:42:20.933-04:00That puzzled me, too, Cully. Although I oppose th...That puzzled me, too, Cully. Although I oppose the bill, her opposition didn't make any sense. She didn't seem to have a strong reason why they should remain sealed, and she's not forced to get an OBC. It's very difficult to get anyone to show up for a hearing, even those with strong thoughts about an issue. If she had no strong thoughts, then why bother. Why not let well enough alone. Something is missing. Do you have her name. She may have been recruited.<br /><br />MalreyMarley Greinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15184124024369071862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-20929137072476660502010-06-15T16:19:19.142-04:002010-06-15T16:19:19.142-04:00"I also heard an adoptee testify against the ..."I also heard an adoptee testify against the bill; I can not for the life of me understand why the woman just can't let it be. If she doesn't want her non-fake birth records, fine. But why deny the thousands who do? What is so fearful to her that she has to actively work to punish others who want to know the truth of their identities? She's like a house slave speaking out against the end of slavery because she might lose her home..." <br />So VERY true! I don't get it either... if they aren't Adoptees or Natural Mothers then why don't they just leave it up to the ones it actually concerns? And if they are Adoptees or Natural Mothers and they don't want information or contact then Fine! no one is going to force them to do anything. Like I wrote about - these people are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. <br />CullyCullyRaynoreply@blogger.com