tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post7357280274365287185..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Yes we can reform state adoption laws!Lorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-18739201989973801082010-09-23T20:48:53.793-04:002010-09-23T20:48:53.793-04:00Thank you so much for educating the public. This ...Thank you so much for educating the public. This is needed for adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents. How can we help change the laws in every state to help the biological parents?Jeannettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031950274392571035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-78768717306209696932010-09-22T10:17:35.106-04:002010-09-22T10:17:35.106-04:00Way to go.
The amount of time normally allowed be...Way to go. <br />The amount of time normally allowed before signing consent is woefully inadequate, IMO. <br /><br />In private domestic adoptions here in Ontario, the mother’s consent is only valid if the child is *at least* 8 days old at time of signing. Once consent is signed and has been verified by the agency, the adopters may take the child to their home.<br />If the birth father is acknowledging paternity, has lived with or supported the mother, he must also sign the consent.<br /><br />Following that, the biological parents have 21 days to change their minds. The withdrawal must be in writing and the natural parent(s) must obtain the revocation of consent form from the licensee or agency placing the child. <br />After that it is the responsibility of the licensee to return the child.<br /><br />Finalization usually takes about 7 - 9 months, during which time the adopting family is vetted by a social worker. After six months, the SW provides a report which is reviewed by the licensee, Ministry and Court. If everything is in order, the adoption is finalized. I do not know if there are any legal avenues through which to challenge the adoption during that time, if it can be shown that there was skullduggery involved.<br /><br />KippaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-50908847433906903332010-09-22T09:08:45.343-04:002010-09-22T09:08:45.343-04:00As someone who sadly knows firsthand the pressures...As someone who sadly knows firsthand the pressures put on girls to give their babies up and how the word 'love' is especially used to confuse us'If you love your baby you'll do what's best for him. A boy needs a father', I do not think there should be any time limit on the firstmother. When my social worker kept putting me off and telling me that I could have my baby back but 'we have to do some paperwork first' until I was so angry,scared, and unsure of myself that I doubted my ability to be a good parent. When a married woman has a baby, what I didn't know at the time was that they too are scared, but people and society surround them,encourage them and they grow confident as they learn and take care of their babies. When my parents went to the court to try and find out what happened to my baby, the lawyer in charge told them'I have girls calling me crying every day trying to find out about their babies and I can't tell them anything' It was like 'Ha Ha Ha you sucker I know where your baby is and I'm not telling you.' Another example of this female-hating culture of ours I tried to kill myself after that Thank God I didn't succed Things got better.I found my son, but what an unnecessary confusion and waste of time and energy for both me and him, He thought I gave him up because of something wrong with him.He was the cutest baby in the whole world and a very good baby too. When I showed his wife a picture of me holding him that someone took in the hospital, she looked shocked and started to say "But I thought you didn't wa...'and stopped.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-7998422733690819662010-09-22T00:05:36.053-04:002010-09-22T00:05:36.053-04:00I was very glad - at first - to see that you are l...I was very glad - at first - to see that you are looking into changing laws that give mothers more rights to raise their children, but I am strongly disappointed to see that you are calling on organizations such as the donaldson inst, and the child 'welfare' league. (Did either of these organizations stand up for Ashley or Janette or Heidi?) In any case they are pro-adoption and do not speak for me and it is nauseating that they have more say in how law should be constructed around mother/child separation than mothers who have lived through it. (What they know is through mining mothers of loss; it is not direct experience or knowledge.)<br /><br />My comment is not meant to be an attack on you Jane. I feel that this is a very important area that needs to be addressed and am happy that you are looking into it. But I am highly suspicious of those you are relying on and feel that it is another slap in the face to have adopters making laws on just what rights a mother has.<br /><br />I was surprised that other mothers had not commented on this post. I hope that they will, and that you will expand the topic to address some of my misgivings.<br /><br />Thank you,<br />CarolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com