tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post7851791857879841065..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Navigating between Two Mothers: Biological and AdoptiveLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-24934057106621816002009-06-17T04:59:45.594-04:002009-06-17T04:59:45.594-04:00"Two halves NEVER supposed to meet, yeah, and..."Two halves NEVER supposed to meet, yeah, and when they do that's when there is a problem."<br /><br />That is one of the many reasons I took my reunion trip alone.<br /><br />Transracial adoptees don't always have sealed records, BTW. It depends on the country and the circumstances. Sometimes information is withheld, like in Korea. Other times it is simply missing, like in China.Mei-Linghttp://littlewing04.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-69054598957949181602009-06-15T11:25:04.940-04:002009-06-15T11:25:04.940-04:00OHHHHHHHHH. THANKS everybody... for the encouragem...OHHHHHHHHH. THANKS everybody... for the encouragement.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-80165321507067734302009-06-14T23:33:53.439-04:002009-06-14T23:33:53.439-04:00Lorraine, how courageous of you to write so openly...Lorraine, how courageous of you to write so openly and honestly about the downside of reunion. Hard work, I know. I applaud you! And like osolomama, appreciate reading your story. Keep at it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-234722539953884412009-06-14T12:08:01.555-04:002009-06-14T12:08:01.555-04:00Two halves NEVER supposed to meet, yeah, and when ...Two halves NEVER supposed to meet, yeah, and when they do that's when there is a problem.<br /><br />After all that's isn't what the sealed record's were supposed to do.<br />They were supposed to "protect" those who adopt from "intruders" those pesky, mothers, who can't get over it or move on.<br /><br />Amazing as it is WE as mothers are expected to move on but when it comes to those who adopt they "CAN'T and don't move on if they can't have a baby until they acquire a baby, then they can move on with sealed records in place.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38880560768487410742009-06-14T10:10:28.724-04:002009-06-14T10:10:28.724-04:00"So it's not just two worlds, it might be..."So it's not just two worlds, it might be people you would otherwise *never* hang out with."<br /><br />Two halves that are never supposed to meet.Mei-Linghttp://littlewing04.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-52134785510676120242009-06-13T13:07:08.070-04:002009-06-13T13:07:08.070-04:00Was going to leave a comment yesterday but then I ...Was going to leave a comment yesterday but then I couldn't say what I wanted to so well. First, just to let you know that I really *enjoy* these excerpts from your book (though enjoy is not really the best word--appreciate might be a better one). But yesterday's post got me thinking how the two sets of parents might not have anything in common with each other, except the child. So it's not just two worlds, it might be people you would otherwise *never* hang out with. Also, nothing is going to put a relationship in the toilet faster than thinking the "other people" somehow disapprove of one. This is why reunion seems like not just any relationship. The complication factor is exponential. <br /><br />Not that I have started searching for information for Sim about her parents, I lapse into fantasies at times that have to do with them being. . .maybe. . .sorta like us: city people, cooking people, talking and debating people, bellylaugh and pranking people. Then I have to remind myself this is all just speculation. However, since my daughter has some of these traits, it gives me a happy feeling by spells. <br /><br />(WTF am I getting myself is my other reaction at times.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-55816711508634403432009-06-12T19:49:14.367-04:002009-06-12T19:49:14.367-04:00Lorraine,
An interesting excerpt from your writin...Lorraine,<br /><br />An interesting excerpt from your writing. Do you think they would have welcomed you or let you in if Jane had not had her health issues or the low self esteem you spoke of? <br /><br />I think a lot of time when there are issues, health, misbehaving etc those who adopt hope that we mothers can help in some way. A lot of time we can't but when things go smooth I would figure they would think why rock the boat in their teens. <br /><br />I found my son in his late twenties at the right time he was heading in the wrong direction.<br />He was able to get on his feet but it took awhile and I supported him 100% he had to fight his adopter and his ex for visits with his daughter. Adopter begged him to NOT take his daughter from her, but thought NOTHING of taking his daughter from him. She was used to taking what she wanted and was a taker. So was his ex they both still are never giving anything just taking. <br /><br />I can't imagine being involved in my son's like when he was a teen. But you can be sure if I were he would have had the support he didn't get when he played sports. I went to all my son's sporting events, all my son's were supported, even during practices, <br />I was there watching them. I also traveled with my family to games, which were hours, away, we spent the night many times after games in a hotel.<br /><br />My found son did NOT have that support, why I am NOT sure, his adopter had divorced the first guy she adopted with and had married her boss. It wasn't like she just couldn't get away. She had no traveling as when one lives in a city surrounded by many other cities the competition is usually in the next town. Close by to drive and be home that night. I wonder if the new hubby had anything to do with that situation?<br /><br />I told my son one time when he took me to a place he had played baseball that if I had gone to his games, it would have been like seeing his dad play ball again. They were and are so much alike when he told me what positions, he played in baseball I said I could have told you. <br /><br />gAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com