tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post7916588654124024094..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: After The Wedding is a story about a mother and daughter reunion; Catch it On DemandLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-46412776831218292712021-04-17T22:37:51.982-04:002021-04-17T22:37:51.982-04:00I'm having a Firstmotherforum movie weekend. W...I'm having a Firstmotherforum movie weekend. Watched this one tonight on your recommendation and, like The Other Son, I found this one also worth watching. I, too, appreciated that there was no demon. People were portrayed as decent humans, doing the best they could in any given moment. Probably like most people. I'm glad you found it and shared it :-)Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-44453745334770529372021-01-20T11:43:21.815-05:002021-01-20T11:43:21.815-05:00A mother will cry for her baby, always.A mother will cry for her baby, always.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-21075329220646204212021-01-05T12:41:38.973-05:002021-01-05T12:41:38.973-05:00Hi Lori, hope you had a reasonable Xmas I am here ...Hi Lori, hope you had a reasonable Xmas I am here in the Uk and an older adoptee in my 50`s and I can say for certain that it is your daughter that is missing out over here our records have been available since 1975 but we have to jump through the hoops to get them having counselling sessions before we can even access our records. I knew that if I found and met my mother that it wouldn't be easy and there would be lots of unconscious emotions flying around as well as a lot of cognitive dissonance from both sides lol and I was prepared to work through all of that. From my side as an adoptee from the 60`s I never knew in all my 50 odd years what a bond with a parent was I was rejected in the end by my adopters due to my A mother not being able to give birth herself and I was adopted twice because of my A father dying suddenly and my A mother remarrying. But the brief bond with my natural mother showed me what it was like to be bonded ..alas she sensed this and took advantage I realise now just how alone I have been but as strong as the bond that I feel for my natural mother is (I would do anything for her) I cant allow her to hurt me in the way she has been doing. So if your daughter is young she will come to realise she is missing out on that bond with you I hope she can and will resume contact with you. As to being dark and negative that is how my b mothers husband described me lol which is not in anyway how I am. I told him that there is a difference between negativity and an all encompassing deep intense situation that doesn't happen everyday but all he wanted to do was minimize the whole situation as did my B mother, I feel sorry for people who cant feel deeply as ones whole life is nothing but shallow. Make no mistake having deep intense feelings shows that you care, my B mother to me is so important but I cant allow her to have that power because of want she does with it. Here is a quote you may have read it all ready how some adoptees feel... A baby will cry for it`s mother even when that same mother has set it on fire Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-85904530971086439132020-12-25T14:59:32.726-05:002020-12-25T14:59:32.726-05:00Anonymous, Don't feel alone. I did that for 1...Anonymous, Don't feel alone. I did that for 15 years with my daughter... sadly, she has decided that I am the problem (I am a dark and negative person- her words) and we have had no contact for a few years now. Maybe it is a good thing? sigh... Merry Christmas.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-73186351344571778692020-11-22T16:53:22.646-05:002020-11-22T16:53:22.646-05:00thank you Lori for your kind words, no I believe t...thank you Lori for your kind words, no I believe the situation with my birth mother is beyond my capabilities, if it was any other person I would have run a mile away but I failed to protect myself and left myself open to be taken advantage of, I kept thinking it will get better the next time and then the next time, a hard lesson to learn but at least I've learnt it, thank you for your support keep safe and have a peaceful Xmas.. to you all. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-3814039373921556292020-11-18T14:44:36.490-05:002020-11-18T14:44:36.490-05:00Anon 10-18; I wish I could make it all go away for...Anon 10-18; I wish I could make it all go away for you, however, seriously, that is a very damaged person and not a healthy relationship. I am not sure you can fix this. I do applaud your keeping your child out of it, as it does not appear to be a positive environment for the boy. I can say that an abusive relationship is not going to get better until the abuser gets help. Good luck.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-26968111759290174672020-10-18T19:05:28.142-04:002020-10-18T19:05:28.142-04:00sorry to post this here but I need some advice hav...sorry to post this here but I need some advice having found my birth mother and been in reunion for almost a year now, it has been a struggle right from the beginning with her being rude and her husband and some lies along the way (understandable really) and she is still keeping me a secret from the rest of the family (she has told them that I died) another issue has now come up she tells me that I owe her because she gave birth to me. I know that she is old and not so well but I have found myself supporting them with food and running errands for them, when I sound reluctant she starts being very rude shouting and saying that I`m a disappointment to her. I`m not allowed to mention the adoption because that is all in the past She`s also saying that I`m selfish and trying to keep her away from her grandchild (my son) who is severely disabled and I really don't want him upset by all of this. I`m at a loss at how to turn this round or even if I want to. Every time I try to address the issues she laughs and tells me to just get over it ...I would be grateful for any help/ advice or suggestions on how i deal with this thank you and I hope you are all staying safe. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-78069713024391312642020-10-12T17:04:42.468-04:002020-10-12T17:04:42.468-04:00Thanks for the heads up Lorraine. I'll see if ...Thanks for the heads up Lorraine. I'll see if I can track this one down for the weekend. Jane, Casa de los Babys sounds like it would be very painful to watch. Fiamettahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01440784377905168941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-56356923048745073752020-10-06T17:23:46.190-04:002020-10-06T17:23:46.190-04:00Another excellent film. Casa de los Babys https://...Another excellent film. Casa de los Babys https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0303830/ Six women wait in an hotel in an unnamed South American city to pick up their babies from a baby broker. The film shows how cras, arbitrary, and sad adoption is.<br /><br /><br /><br />Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.com