tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post8669571574228717750..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Equality begins with the right to know who you areLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-4917841554611679572013-04-08T11:53:58.337-04:002013-04-08T11:53:58.337-04:00Diane- I would contact the state back and ask to s...Diane- I would contact the state back and ask to speak to a supervisor. While your actual physical certificate may have been destroyed- is your whole file gone? Why couldn't they create a new OBC or send identifying info via the documentation in your court file? Where you adopted in IL? Only good thing about this is that your firstmom wouldn't be able to ask for her name to be deleted because she would be told the same thing!Reneenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-86303413733755242392013-04-07T19:13:32.405-04:002013-04-07T19:13:32.405-04:00http://www.foundlingmuseum.org.uk/events/view/fate...http://www.foundlingmuseum.org.uk/events/view/fate-hope-and-charity/<br /><br />Mothers have been separated from babies they loved for a very long time. This is an exhibition of tokens left with foundlings in London in the 1700s, finally reconnected with the stories of the admission of the babies to the Foundling Hospital. It is very sad, a great number of them died in infancy, but also a touching tribute to mothers' hope for reunion, no matter how slim the chance. Giving them this dignity is right; how much better for our legislators to give it to living individuals today.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-32157745139177696382013-04-07T17:03:02.843-04:002013-04-07T17:03:02.843-04:00Diane, One last suggestion--do you have any idea w...Diane, One last suggestion--do you have any idea where you were adopted from? If it was an agency, you may have more to go on. Or there may be somebody in your family--if your adoptive parents are deceased--who knows something. A friend of my husband's did not start seriously looking until both parents had died, and when he asked his aunts, they knew exactly who his parents were. His father was married, had an affair with the maid. Sounds very Downton Abbey, but that's how it was. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-5285321842450087742013-04-07T16:31:01.133-04:002013-04-07T16:31:01.133-04:00Oh, Diane, that's awful that Illinois destroye...Oh, Diane, that's awful that Illinois destroyed your OBC. <br /><br />It's possible that the person who gave you the information didn't look hard enough. You could call the department and ask a supervisor if there was any way to get your OBC or reconstruct it. Perhaps the county in which you were born has a copy. <br /><br />You could contact Rep. Sara Feigenholtz, the sponsor of the Illinois bill, and ask if her staff could double-check to be sure what the state told you was accurate.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09715622112694146946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-33506688638710434172013-04-07T12:06:53.167-04:002013-04-07T12:06:53.167-04:00Hi Susan. Yes, you can use my letter.
Diane, tha...Hi Susan. Yes, you can use my letter. <br /><br />Diane, that is devastating news. Did you ever request your non-identifying information from the agency that managed your adoption? There still may be some files out there to work with. <br /><br />HeidiMswandergirlhttp://mswandergirl.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-6513117346777335302013-04-07T05:04:47.612-04:002013-04-07T05:04:47.612-04:00I am an adoptee born in Ill. I was absolutely exta...I am an adoptee born in Ill. I was absolutely extatic to recently discover they have passed legislation in the past 2 years giving me the long awaited for my right to know my beginnings through the OBC. I sent in my $15.00 and certified my letter to the Dept. of Vital Statistics. I received a very rapid response requesting me to fill in an overlooked line of information. I certified that copy and awaited until this past <br />Friday only to be completely deflated by their response. I was told that in 1967 over 300 OBC's had been destroyed while converting them to microfilm. I am still stunned! What recourse do I have now? Thanks, DianeDianenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-24783883696289659732013-04-06T10:10:59.232-04:002013-04-06T10:10:59.232-04:00Ms. Wandergirl,
What a fabulous letter! May I us...Ms. Wandergirl,<br /><br />What a fabulous letter! May I use it in a future blog post expressing my disgust with these birth-parent vetoes?Susan P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-45084842957743719072013-04-05T16:51:14.983-04:002013-04-05T16:51:14.983-04:00Whew... I finally tried to pull my thoughts togeth...Whew... I finally tried to pull my thoughts together and sent an email. <br /><br />=====<br /><br />Dear Ms. Rivers,<br /><br />I was disappointed to view your testimony this year 'in support' of SB 5118. Whereas you, as a leader of this state, could have spoken to equal treatment for all citizens, you chose to promote your own special interest over common sense. <br /><br />This bill does not balance the rights of adoptees and birth parents. As I understand it, any birth parent born in this state who is not an adoptee is able to secure her/his own birth certificate without obstruction. Instead, the amendment to the bill allows birth parents to obstruct an adoptee's access to their own truthful birth certificate and perpetuates society's belief that adoptees who seek out their identity are ungrateful, disruptive and villains of some mythical crime that they did not commit. <br /><br />I am a human being. I am not a secret. Although, as a feminist, I do have compassion for women who are treated poorly due to unexpected pregnancies, I do not take responsibility for how these same women choose to build the foundation of past or current relationships. As in any relationship, an individual takes risks by keeping secrets and/or omitting the truth. As an adoptee, I bear no responsibility for my birth mother/father's choices. <br /><br />This bill should be about equal rights. Period. As a tax-paying citizen of this state, I should be treated the same as any other citizen when I interact with government employees. I should not be treated like a second-class citizen by government employees whose attitudes and actions reflect discriminatory law. If SB 5118 passes with the non-disclosure amendment, the state of Washington will continue to discriminate against a class of people who did not choose to join the group to which they belong. <br /><br />Adoptees will continue to fight discrimination in Washington as well as other states in this union. We will continue to do work to promote identity discovery and development using traditional search methods, technology and emerging science (DNA doesn't lie). We will continue to tell the adoptee story and not allow those with special interests (harboring shame, promoting secrecy) to skew reality. Your attempts to put adoptees in their 'rightful place' fuel the movement. Even if one of these discriminatory bill passes, you can be sure that you have not heard the last of us. <br /><br />Best regards,<br /><br />Heidi<br />resident, taxpayer and citizen of 36th legislative district<br /><br />=====<br /><br />Lorraine and Jane, thank you for your investment in time, money and emotion in regards to creating change in Washington. <br /><br />HeidiMswandergirlhttp://mswandergirl.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-18412463756432948792013-04-05T16:49:23.432-04:002013-04-05T16:49:23.432-04:00"I read in today's Times a quote that sti..."I read in today's Times a quote that sticks in my craw: ...Justice Ginsburg quoted the legendary Justice Benjamin N. Cardozo: 'Justice is not to be taken by storm. She is to be wooed by slow advances.'"<br /><br />I totally agree, Lorraine. Reminds me of the BS of Plessy v Ferguson and the 60 years of "separate but equal" that wasn't. Embarrassing. <br /><br />I was talking with my adad about the Washington bill and the Missouri nightmare and he said, "Most states still want to treat adoptees as personal property." Sad, but true. ms. marginaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03854609171313401651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-61978364047341589562013-04-05T16:41:09.839-04:002013-04-05T16:41:09.839-04:00My name is Maureen Jo Pelletier-Begley
Mother'...My name is Maureen Jo Pelletier-Begley<br />Mother's name on O.B.C.<br />Shelia Dickson Davis ( Dickson maiden name I think )<br />Father's name<br />James Tyler<br />Mom was born in Texas<br />Dad was born in North Dakota<br />My Dad worked for the phone company and was 31 to Mom's 23.<br />Any thoughts Susan?<br />Anything would be greatly appreciated.<br />God Bless You,<br />MaureenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-44298175492045066302013-04-05T11:07:09.392-04:002013-04-05T11:07:09.392-04:00They Do see the unfairness and injustice of it all...They Do see the unfairness and injustice of it all. That isn't the real problem. The real problem is that they don't fucking care.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-31475047010602086442013-04-05T10:22:57.715-04:002013-04-05T10:22:57.715-04:00If you are taking the time to read the comments, p...If you are taking the time to read the comments, please take the time to comment at the WA legislative site. Link in blog post. <br /><br />If you don't do it, who do you think is?Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-23079300791237963262013-04-05T10:21:50.350-04:002013-04-05T10:21:50.350-04:00Renee: I too have a hard time understanding how l...Renee: I too have a hard time understanding how legislators do not see the total injustice and unfairness of sealed records. This idea of "protecting" first mothers is bunk. I think some of the male legislators are protecting themselves, or a family member who is in deep hiding, which is what I suspect about one of the staunchest enemies of open records we have in New York, Helene Weinstein. She is an influential legislator and has blocked us at every turn. It is obviously personal with her. <br /><br />I read in today's Times a quote that sticks in my craw: ...Justice Ginsburg quoted the legendary Justice Benjamin N. Cardozo: “Justice is not to be taken by storm. She is to be wooed by slow advances.”<br /><br />That didn't work with slavery did it? And does it work with people wrongfully convicted of crimes they did not commit, because of prejudice? "Slow advances" should not be how these bad laws in state after state are repealed. It should happen in one fell swoop because they were wrong when they were became law.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-40880051451718080372013-04-05T08:52:21.112-04:002013-04-05T08:52:21.112-04:00Thank you both for your insightful comments. I do...Thank you both for your insightful comments. I do not understand how legislators just can't see the unfairness of it all. I love my firstmom dearly- but she did sign away parental rights. Why should she now have the right to block my original birth certificate? (she would never-but I am one of the lucky ones.) Every once in a while I again send away for my non-id or update the NYS registry. I found my mom in 1992- but my amom destroyed all my paperwork to my search. My records were one of hundreds that were burned in an Iron mountain fire in 1997 in NJ. I was adopted thru Catholic Home Bureau. I can't help but wonder if there is a way that we can use the fact that hundreds of records were destroyed to do a class action lawsuit or to help push thru a clean bill. My non-id from NYS registry came yesterday- just that my mom was 19 and american(USA is what it said for Nationality) and my father was 23 and Italy. THAT IS ALL. I would have been devestated had that been the only info i recieved. These gov'ts and agencies have too much power to play god over us all. Reneenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-7757196234984237612013-04-05T01:15:12.762-04:002013-04-05T01:15:12.762-04:00Is there any case law on suing for a BC, especiall...Is there any case law on suing for a BC, especially in cases where the practice interferes with citizen rights of adoptees? I would guess that citizenship rights and civil rights trump a fictitious right of biological parents.<br /><br />It seems to me that this is the only way forward. There doesn't appear to be much "kindness of strangers" when the issue is managed by unaffected people, particularly people in the business of making money from ownership of individuals.SaraCnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-21237483648382059872013-04-04T21:27:29.663-04:002013-04-04T21:27:29.663-04:00Susan,
Jane and I supported the measure in NJ fo...Susan, <br /><br />Jane and I supported the measure in NJ for the same reason as you--it seemed that after 30 years it might happen and the birth-parent window to file a veto ended after a year. But after Christy refused to sign the bill and sent out a lengthy press release supporting a even more stringent law, we came to the same conclusion as you. The permanent veto totally stinks. I know the legislators will say, we had to compromise, but this is an unacceptable compromise: the veto makes it not a "right" to have one's one birth certificate, but something granted by permission of another person, the first parent. It's like the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing only those slaves who were in the state the North was at war with. The sad thing is, if this passes, we do not have a Lincoln to come along and push through the 13 Amendment. I fear the veto will stay forever.Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-76115051356667273602013-04-04T18:55:56.293-04:002013-04-04T18:55:56.293-04:00These birthmother vetoes that extend into the futu...These birthmother vetoes that extend into the future are totally unacceptable, as they bestow upon original parents a legal right that they have never had. I was able to hold my nose and support the NJ legislation that gave original mothers a one-year period to white-out their names, not because I thought it was the right thing to do, but because I thought the legislation would finally, after 30 years, get us to where we need to be. Now I'm not sure I can even support that concession, as I agree with you that every human being has the right to know his or her own story and possess his or her own documents. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that as an adult adoptee, I own myself. My original family doesn't own me, nor does my adoptive family. If my original birth certificate doesn't belong to me, who does it belong to? Perhaps we will have to wait until the time is right, or for another court case, to receive fair and just adoptee rights legislation.Susan P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.com