tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post9127670065564918160..comments2024-03-27T20:48:39.389-04:00Comments on [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Foreign Adoptions Aren't Plunging Fast EnoughLorraine Duskyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-35846578763133926872012-08-27T15:58:27.893-04:002012-08-27T15:58:27.893-04:00Barbara, I did take a look at Sasha's blog. Th...Barbara, I did take a look at Sasha's blog. Thanks for sharing this. It's great that things have worked out so well for Sasha and her little sister. <br /><br />I still believe, though, that in spite of its successes, international adoption is not an effective way to help the vast majority of children abroad who need help. It can be very harmful, both in financing child abductions and in placing children in dangerous situations.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-19368009372932501882012-08-27T12:50:48.983-04:002012-08-27T12:50:48.983-04:00http://sasha-sashafromrussia.blogspot.com/
I don&...http://sasha-sashafromrussia.blogspot.com/<br /><br />I don't know if Sasha's blog will change any of your views about Russian adoption, but it might be worth a look. barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16121842711657226061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-68418572906842632662012-08-18T19:59:26.026-04:002012-08-18T19:59:26.026-04:00I love the quote by David Smolin at the end of the...I love the quote by David Smolin at the end of the article you recommend: "there is no fool like the one who wants to be fooled". He foolishly adopted two older girls from India without bothering to either learn their language or travel to their country. It's no wonder he adopted girls who'd actually been kidnapped. All the points in the article are valid and reiterated in many other areas. Again, though, there's no discussion of Russia. The only major problem with Russian adoption is people ill equipped to adopt an institutionalized child. Many of these kids who are only "social" orphans are third generation institutionalized kids. Their mothers and grandmothers never learned to bond or love anyone. They give up their children despite the government subsidies they'd receive for up to two kids. They won't even take money to keep their own off-spring. Experts have predicted that even with strong government and NGO support, as well as a necessary turn-about of the Russian economy, it would take 30 years to eliminate the "need" for Russian orphanages. They are unlike anything I've ever seen.barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16121842711657226061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-50127810740657821452012-08-17T20:03:13.306-04:002012-08-17T20:03:13.306-04:00I couldn't disagree more but appreciate your r...I couldn't disagree more but appreciate your replybarbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16121842711657226061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-91600743026923419512012-08-17T17:59:07.147-04:002012-08-17T17:59:07.147-04:00Barbara, We absolutely agree that Russian and othe...Barbara, We absolutely agree that Russian and other children are in orphanages and likely to stay there until they age out. <br /><br />The myth I mentioned was the myth that international adoption helps these children in any significant numbers. Most people who adopt internationally eschew children in orphanages and demand healthy infants as did Elizabeth Foy Larsen whom Lorraine wrote about in the previous post. I encourage you to read E. J. Graff's article, <a href="http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2008/10/15/the_lie_we_love" rel="nofollow">The Lie We Love</a> <br /><br />Now that it's tougher to get infants, some would-be adoptive parents are taking older or disabled children. Adopting a few thousand of these children does nothing to reduce the number of children in orphanages or living in dire poverty, which UNICEF estimates at one billion. <br /><br />Money spent on international adoption would be better spent on NGOs which provide education, funds to start small businesses, clean water, and the like. <br /><br />Couples willing and able to take older or disabled children should help needy American children where their efforts can make a difference.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-9193080715976858942012-08-17T17:10:54.159-04:002012-08-17T17:10:54.159-04:00Most parents who adopt from Russia are the first t...Most parents who adopt from Russia are the first to condemn the horrendous heinous acts of some adoptive parents. Sadly, all one has to do is turn on the news to learn of the latest parent (adoptive or not) who's abused or killed their child. Sadly, it's not a "myth" that these children are floundering in orphanages. If it were, they wouldn't be "graduating" in Russia with an average life expectancy of thirty years old. Many who are adopted at an older age are practically feral, and the adoptive parents haven't done their homework on how to deal with an institutionalized child. <br />Fortunately, you are absolutely wrong in that Russia has not curtailed adoptions. They have required people to travel 3 to 4 times to visit with the child (a good thing) but that makes it cost prohibitive for most people, hence the numbers have decreased. I know many families who've brought children home just in the last few weeks, and most adoptions are completed within a year. Sadly, despite strong efforts by the Russian government, domestic adoptions by Russians has barely budged. When Russians do adopt, they often fake a pregnancy and bring an adopted newborn directly home from the hospital. Their domestic system is no better than ours. <br /> <br />There has been human trafficking in Russia, but it's typically those children who've aged out of the orphanage, who have no one to care for them, who fall prey. <br /><br />I'm glad you live in a world where it's ok to have kids starving in an orphanage because it's not "foreign" to them. It must be great to be so naive. Travel over there and do your homework.barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16121842711657226061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-57214604417373075372012-08-14T21:12:41.063-04:002012-08-14T21:12:41.063-04:00Lori,
I agree with you. There are children in fost...Lori,<br />I agree with you. There are children in foster care who should be with their families and there's a real danger that CW officials will or are targeting young, attractive children in order to supply the adoption market. Richard Wexler of the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform has written about this. On the other hand, as a commentator wrote, there are kids who bounce back and forth between their home and foster care who would be better off in a permanent arrangement.<br /><br />I think long term guardianship might be preferable to adoption for some children in foster care who can't go home but need contact with their families. <br /><br />At the present, time, though, adoption is the only alternative for some children. It makes no sense for would-be adoptive parents to go to the ends of the earth for children when there are many here who would do just fine. The adoption industry portrays these kids as "damaged" and scares potential adoptive parents away from them. Then the industry palms off severely damaged kids from Russia, South America, and so on who would be better off in their own country where at least they know the language.Jane Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05669797756463841249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-59964580135377225582012-08-14T17:36:25.636-04:002012-08-14T17:36:25.636-04:00Given that there are so many children in foster ca...Given that there are so many children in foster care and children throughout the world who really do need homes, there is absolutely no need to encourage any more family separations. Given the fact that we do so, especially in the U.S., just shows that adoption really is a business and not about the welfare of the child. If we really did care about the child we would work our hardest at finding families for those who truly were abandoned not encouraging perfectly capable young expectant mothers to give up their 'desirable' infants to strangers.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-84533069801448389732012-08-14T13:26:03.044-04:002012-08-14T13:26:03.044-04:00While, Like Sunday, I know what it is like to be u...While, Like Sunday, I know what it is like to be unwanted, I am also a mother that was victimized by the foster care system.... We have to remember that children in foster care have families. If we encourage a great deal of adoption, the one thing we have to remember is that social services is not above "creating" new younger children, toddlers and infants that need adoption. After all, they get paid bonuses for adopting out children and no one wants that teen that is not ever going to be the perfect little one.<br /><br />Just saying - it all has a down side.Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05815710859859029536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-3414766705559452982012-08-12T13:57:29.837-04:002012-08-12T13:57:29.837-04:00What this doesn't tell or maybe can't is t...What this doesn't tell or maybe can't is that often there are families wishing to Foster/Adopt who continually watch the children in their care (whom the care for and love) bounced not back to their First Families, but rather through a flawed, scarred system until they themselves truly do become "the unwanted" as mentioned by Sunday above. It's hard to watch that when your family stands ready to adopt children of any background, sibling groups and those of an older age.<br /><br />So yes, we looked overseas to complete our family. ( we have one biological child) and found horrific conditions in all 4 of the "Babyhouses" we visited. The two children we were fortunate enough to bring home were both considered SN due to their Preschool age and developmental delays. Both were 4, significantly malnourished (wearing 12-18 month clothing), no emotional affectation and the scars from their institutionalized time is still with them 7 years later.<br /><br />And we? Couldn't imagine our lives without them. Were they true orphans in the Webster definition sense of the word? No. But their respective Overseas Mothers signed the paperwork allowing them to be placed for adoption, knowing the alternatives were grim. Many children in each of the Orphanages we visited did not have that same consent, as its routine for children to be placed in government care when the family cannot support them. Sadly for most, if not all, of them that is a life sentence, ending at age 15 when they age out of the system with little or no life skills, no financial, familial or other support. The rates of suicide and prostitution are astranomical. That too is fact.<br /><br />So why didn't we send aid to a First Family to keep in intact rather than adopt? Why didn't we rage against the systemic predujice against unwed or impoverished mothers? Why didn't we take a stand against the lack of social supports in place to support struggling families? <br /><br />Actually we did and do support such support groups doing meaningful work overseas; trying to make that very change.<br /><br />Change is slow and when trying to affect and influence a foreign government....well, tricky and complicated don't even begin to cover it.<br /><br />So 2 came home with us all those years ago and more than 30 have been supported in the intervening years by the awareness our adoption process brought to us.<br /><br />Why not U.S.? Well, the question should really be? Why not any child in need, regardless of where they reside. <br /><br />Why not U.S.? Well, we still await that placement here and still have watched even more children cycle in and out, continually; not to end up back home with their First Families or extended family but rather on to the next home, while our government tries to figure it all out.<br /><br />BethAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-38104408732139858372012-08-12T08:59:17.779-04:002012-08-12T08:59:17.779-04:00from a piece by Elizabeth Larsen (see earlier blog...from a piece by Elizabeth Larsen (see earlier blog) in Mother Jones, <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2007/10/did-i-steal-my-daughter-tribulations-global-adoption" rel="nofollow">Did I Steal My Daughter?</a>:<br /><br />"We never discussed adopting from the U.S. foster care system or an Eastern European orphanage; we wanted a baby who had never spent an hour in institutionalized care." and "(Wanting a girl, we'd opted for the sure bet that adoption offers.)"<br /><br />What can we do to make adopting from foster care the option for adoption, rather than export/import?Viktorianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-574300303008890516.post-47794379244657440252012-08-11T20:24:50.302-04:002012-08-11T20:24:50.302-04:00Thanks for the plug for US foster kids, Jane...the...Thanks for the plug for US foster kids, Jane...the last on the list of desired children.Sunday Koffron Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00859347065249826781noreply@blogger.com