Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Natural parents have the natural right to nurture their children

Declaration of Independence
This Fourth of July will again celebrate liberty, one of the unalienable, natural rights with which we are endowed by our creator as declared by a small group of men in Philadelphia 236 years ago. This Declaration gave rise to the greatest nation the world has ever known. Subsequently the authors of the United States Constitution declared through the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments that liberty could not be taken away without due process of law, that is through fair procedures.

In a long series of cases, the United States Supreme Court has held that the right to liberty includes "the fundamental liberty interest of natural parents in the care, custody, and management of their child."

Bill of Rights
Nonetheless states  effectively abrogate this right through laws allowing natural parents to lose their children through procedures that are far from fair. States allow mothers to sign irrevocable consents to adoption, often within minutes of birth, or even worse, to sign consents before birth with only a short revocation period. States do not require any counseling for mothers about the effects of adoption on themselves or their children or about services which would help them nurture their children. States effectively deny fathers any process at all. Once children are adopted, most states deny them the right to know who their natural parents are.

On this Fourth of July, as we enjoy our hot dogs and beer and fireworks, let's dedicate ourselves to passing laws to protect parents' fundamental right to the care, custody, and management of their children and to the right of children to be raised by their human creators.

"The right of parents to direct the upbringing of their children is among the 'unalienable rights' with which the Declaration of Independence proclaims all men...are endowed by their creator." United State Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

"The birth family constitutes the preferred means of providing family life for children." Child Welfare League of America.

The Declaration of Independence
The United States Constitution

From FMF:
What We Think of Adoption

NOTA BENE:  I tried to fix the font of this post and ended up deleting some language. I've re-written it but unfortunately lost the original posting of the comments. We've reposted the comments, but of course the original time when they were posted has been lost and there are a few other idiosyncrasies you may see. Please excuse us lowly and lame bloggers. 


  1. Amen! on Natural parents have the natural right to nurture their children 1
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    on 7/4/12

  2. We, as a Nation, must rethink our behaviors with regard to ourselves, our personal liberties and the power we have given a few over us. Let it be today. on Natural parents have the natural right to nurture their children

  3. I second that Amen.

  4. I would like to have the title of this post as a bumper sticker on my car. This is what irrates the hell out of my with PAPs. The Adopted Ones had a blog post recently where an article mentioned that PAPs are FORCED to wait such a long time for a child. Forced my arse. No one is entitled to someone else's child. The only people entitled to a given child are the woman who delivered the child and the man who fathered the child. End of story

  5. Excellent post! Happy 4th to ALL Americans!!

  6. Amen to that too Robin. We can probably put that up on cafepress as a bumper sticker!!!

  7. adoptionvictimeswithavoiceJuly 5, 2012 at 9:46 AM

    Yes, we need to keep educating the new generation of emoms who are falling on hard times about the realities of adoption. Perhaps the government one day will step up and not allow the human imperialism of adoption that occurs now. I pray that one day the focus in adoption is on family preservation and not on money and the hope of acquiring a "forever" child to adoptive parents who have more resources and power. I believe that day is not far in the future

  8. aI am an adult adoptee and I just celebrated my 20 yr reunion anniversary with my first mom last month. I never doubted that I would search; I just questioned the how and when. I was born in 68 and was a babyscoop baby. I am also married to an adoptee-in reunion who I met nearly 18 yrs ago at an ALMA meeting where I was a search assistant and offered him help in finding his father after a successful reunion with his mom. Our two daughters have a confusing family history with so many grandmothers on their family tree. I just found your blog and am reading thru it and enjoying it immensely. My search and reunion was the best thing I ever did for myself and I count my blessings everyday that my mom and family is back in my life.
    I have recently returned to the adoption movement after life interrupted and I feel like I am coming home! I am thrilled to see firstmoms writing about their feelings and work in the movement and I am more than happy to do everything I can for my part in it. I have been emailing and writing senators and representatives in NY (where I was born/adopted) and have started attending local CUB meetings in FL where I now live. Please feel free to email me directly at with any questions or if I can be of assistance with any of your endeavors!

  9. Welcome, Leigh! We have 691 posts since we began writing this blog in May of 2008. You will find the search function at the bottom of the entry page useful in helping you find blogs on the topics you are most interested in. Jane and I use it ourselves to find the earlier, related blogs we often list at the end of the current post.

    Your voice is welcome.

  10. all i want is my "original" birth certificate but the State of New Jersey tells me NO. I'm going to be 65 next month, how about giving an adoptee a break.

  11. Give that Governor (Christie) of yours a smack in the head! He outta know better. He outta have more humanity. And a diet.

  12. "Natural parents have the natural right to nurture their children..."

    Tell this to all the self entitled adopters of the world who think they possess, control and own OUR children. It doesn't seem to be sinking in...

  13. I had a hard time this 4th of July. For the first time, I was acutely aware that one of my ancestors came to this country from Great Britain and was instrumental in our country achieving its independence.

    Thanks to closed adoption, I was never supposed to know this. I was never supposed to know that a man whose genes I carry helped to accomplish such a remarkable feat and that my family played such an important part in our nation's history. Oh, and this lineage is entirely through the male line so my ancestor's last name is what would have been (should have been) my maiden name.

    These closed OBCs really piss me off. There is no excuse for denying anyone the right to know his or her genetic heritage whether it is illustrious or not.

  14. Take a look at the video of the adoptees getting their OBCs in Rhode Island, in the sidebar. It is heart-wrenching and makes it so obvious that preventing all from having theirs is a great injustice.

    But Chafee got the bit about Steve Jobs wrong!

  15. Mr Chafee,

    Did get it wrong about Steve Jobs. Mr Jobs wanted to know was able to search and find his mom,dad and a full sister.

    Those who make remarks like that show the know nothing of losing their families to adoption. Just plan ignorance spoken at a moment these adoptees are finding out who they are and who they were born to without interference.

  16. That video of the OBC ceremony in Rhode Island is very touching Thinking of Rhode Island reminds me of Block Island(in RI) where I will be going this summer and thinking of Block Island reminds me of the waves on the boat trip over there. How does this relate to adoption? you might wonder When the waves of baby=loss start washing over me again as they have been doing lately and seem too strong to rise out from under(sort of like birth pangs I like to think) I try to do something or use some piece of technology (usually I go on my computer-no computers in 1970-no laptops anyway) that didn't exist then. That way I think I am reassuring myself that even though that horrible pain has come back I will never lose my baby again because things are different now. Credit cards didn't exist then either-at least I didn't have one-things could have been so different if they did

  17. You are right about credit cards and the ability to get an easy loan that did not need anyone's approval would have made a difference for some. But there was so much societal pressure to relinquish.

    The shame I felt was bottomless.


  19. Oh yes, natural parents have the right to nurture their children. Those mean, undeserving, kidnapping, baby-brokering adoptive parents are just mean people who victimize fertile women and deserve infertility, right?

  20. From Starcasm:

    Just as we’re all finally dry-eyed after the emotional 16 and Pregnant Season 4 finale with Kristina Robinson, we have another heart-wrenching story from Season 5! 16-year-old Lorelei announced on Twitter that she will be featured on the popular MTV docu-series next season, and has been uncharacteristically very forthcoming with specific details surrounding her pregnancy and her plans to give her daughter Arianna up for adoption, including the shocking announcement this weekend that Arianna was returned to her by her adopted parents because of health issues!

    Thanks to a reader who sent us to the website where you can read all the dirt on the young mother stars of 16 and Pregnant.

  21. Well shouldn't you be cheering? A birth mom got her child back.

  22. Lolan

    Sorry for the delay in responding. You need to talk to a lawyer and find out about the adoption laws in your state. If you don't know any lawyers, go to this site and click on your state. It will give you information about free legal services for low income people as well as a link to the lawyer referral service of your state bar. Find Legal Help


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