' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Dusten Brown: A Father's final words to his daughter
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Friday, September 27, 2013

Dusten Brown: A Father's final words to his daughter

baby-veronica-horse
Veronica with her father, Dusten Brown
Veronica Rose Brown (who will soon be called Capobianco, one assumes) is now back in South Carolina with Matt and Melanie Capobianco. This transfer of four-year-old Veronica from her natural father and family to genetic strangers has angered and hurt a great many adoptees and birth parents. The taking of the child to be raised by parents not her own has opened up the old wounds we had that stem from our own situations. Eventually, our anger and turmoil will recede again, for a while, until there is another case that so captures our imagination. Following is his statement on the transfer of his daughter, Veronica.--lorraine

“The last few days without Veronica in our home have been more painful than words can describe. We are heartbroken at the loss of our daughter. I moved heaven and earth for two years to bring Veronica home to her family where she belongs. And when I finally picked her up for the journey back to Oklahoma two years ago, we looked into each other’s eyes and it was like we had always been together. That bond was instantaneous, and nothing can break it. Veronica is my child, my flesh and blood, and I love her more than life itself. And to our daughter, Veronica—Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you so much, and we cannot wait until we see you again. We will see you again.”
--Dusten and Robin Brown

15 comments :

  1. It angers and hurts adoptive parents too. Well, those of us that believe in ETHICAL and MORAL adoptions anyway. And there are already two more cases like Veronica's gaining attention. Baby Desarai and Baby Jerrad. Both sets of adoptive parents are fighting to keep children whose father's never consented to adoption. It's sick and disgusting. Sadly, those of us on the moral and ethical side of adoption, adoptees, adoptive parents, and first parents alike, are hoping that Veronica's case will be a springboard to change laws that allow this kind of thing to happen. Unfortunately on the reverse, the adoptive parents of this world who want a baby at ANY cost see it as a springboard to be able to fight back and think that just because the Capobianco's won, they can too. It literally makes me sick to see such entitled, selfish PAP's say they "love" these children. Love is not self-serving!!

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  2. At this point all we can hope for is that Ronnie Brown (always!) will be OK. This article is a nice, clinical synopsis of the fallout from all of this for her:

    http://www.today.com/moms/two-abandonments-impact-baby-veronica-tug-war-rages-4B11241831

    Of course the article doesn't address possible identity and assimilation issues that could plague her for the rest of her life, especially given how emotionally shallow and self-focused the Capobiancos are. But regardless of how badly I want karma to bite her adoptive parents in the a*s, I want a life of acceptance and peace for Ronnie Brown.

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  3. So is her right to a best interests hearing completely off the table now?

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  4. Lorraine, you are so right about the old wounds opening up. The number one reason I lost my daughter was poverty. And perhaps this is why this particular case has hit me so hard. If Dusten had a rich, powerful lawyer and, had he been rich and powerful, the Crapos (and yes, Robin, I agree that this is a fitting name for these extremely selfish people) would have lost. And I do believe that Dusten, Robin will once again be family and this could happen as early as 12 as Veronica will be of age to have a voice. She certainly will not have to wait until 18 if she gets access to info that will help her. Perhaps a way could be found to make this happen. I pray fervently too, that Dusten will find tons of support on the net and that he becomes aware of blogs and links such as yours.

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  5. Dusten and Robin's letter was beautiful. It brought me to tears (again). But it also gave me hope. Dusten hasn't given up. He's still fighting. And they are Ronnie's mommy and daddy, and nothing can ever change that. I am even making an exception to my usual policy and saying that I think Robin Brown is V's mommy. She's the only woman in this whole nightmare who deserves the title. Veronica will always be a BROWN and I hope when she is old enough that she will legally change her name back. Names are important to us adoptees, and there is no piece of paper on earth that can change our bloodlines.

    I will admit I've only seen one picture of the Crapos with Ronnie since they took her under threat of violence. I can't bring myself to look at any more. I am already suffering sleepless nights and buckets of tears. I don't need to add vomiting to my list of afflictions. Ronnie is smiling in the picture, but her eyes aren't clear and bright and filled with unadulterated joy like they are in the pics with the Browns. And Melanie Duncecap Crapobianco's smile, well, it looks, imho, MANIACAL (forgive my 6th grade humor).

    I read that the C's are planning a big welcome home party with PURPLE balloons. But Ronnie's favorite color is PINK. Not surprisingly, the Browns threw a pink-themed birthday party for Ronnie when she turned four. Because they care about Ronnie's wishes, Ronnie's preferences, Ronnie's likes. Maybe the C's just think purple is a child's color. When a child learns that her likes and dislikes, feelings, etc., are taken into consideration, she learns that she's important, that she's valuable, and that her wants and needs should be respected. I can't say I see that happening with the Crapos. Everything is about them.

    So many people say they grew up in an unhappy home, a dysfunctional home, a broken home. And here we have a little girl who was growing up in a wonderful home, a home filled with love, where she was well cared for and happy. And she gets forcibly removed from that home. Children should be removed from their homes because there is abuse or neglect, never when they are thriving and loved to pieces by their own blood relatives. The U.S. has completely lost its moral compass that this could even happen.

    I think we all need to flood the White House with emails and phone calls that we are outraged by this so-called adoption.

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

    Oh, and Mitt Romney has a new adopted grandchild. It's a boy and he's black.

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  6. http://www.tulsaworld.com/article.aspx/Sunday_Final_moments_before_Baby_Veronica_handover/20130928_11_0_Theyto503619?subj=298

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  7. From the above story:

    They told her to pick a few toys to take with her, but Veronica refused.

    “I don’t want to go,” she said, according to sources familiar with last week’s hand over. “I don’t want to go.”

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  8. Robin can you imagine how confused Ronnie Brown must be with all the hoopla surrounding her? The smile means absolutely nothing. In fact, I recall reading an article where the reporter mentioned how Ronnie has been so used to the publicity surrounding her story, she automatically turns and smiles when she sees a camera. What a life, poor girl.

    And I can't stand to look at Melanie. There is something obsessive and ugly about her smile, you are absolutely right. I hate that Ronnie Brown got dealt such a bad hand - the "Veronica Rose Capobianco" hand. So messed up.

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  9. @Jay,
    I am amazed by your story and how you saw the light. I'm sure there are many adoptive parents like you and Aimee who see the truth about what happened to Veronica.

    Interesting what you said about the reporters. I saw a 2nd pic in the Tulsa World article. Ronna has a half-smile, but her eyes are frightened. It's funny, Dusten smiles like that, too, when he's under stress. I noticed that he looked like that during the court hearings in OK, and we now all know things were going terribly for him. Maybe she inherited the behavior. And I'm sure the Caponappers are releasing their best pictures. Maybe in that first picture they even said, "Veronica, smile for the camera and we'll all go out for cookies and ice cream". You never know.

    I'm curious to see if there will be pictures of Ronnie hanging all over Matt. I always see the C's holding her. She never seems to lean into them, to want to be physically close to them the way she does with her DADDY. In Oklahoma, her favorite sport seemed to be 'hop on pop'.

    I'm not buying what the Crapos are selling.

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  10. The only thing good about these pictures and this publicity is it will give Dusten and Robin, and the rest of the Brown family, the opportunity to see her and to see how she is doing.

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  11. @Robin - you are right and the pictures will also give the Brown family clues to Veronica's whereabouts and hopefully they will be able to see her at school-related functions (disguised of course). I'm wondering how the Crapos and the counselors will address her questions about why she was taken from her father. If she's lied to, that opens the door to a future lawsuit, especially if medical folks are involved. Additionally, the very fact that the Crapos would subject Veronica to this emotional trauma now and in the future, definitely raises a huge red flag about their own mental health. And thank you Robin for keeping on top of this situation.

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  12. Melanie Capobianco smiles like a cat who had just eaten the canary.

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  13. @Anon 7:15pm

    Mel's smile is giving Dusten the finger. It says..."nanananana, I got your kid and there's nothing you can do about it." Of course they had to falsify legal documents, break the law, and threaten to take V at gunpoint to "win", but, hey, all's fair in love and war right?

    The only way this case would have been ethical, moral and LAWFUL is if a judge had reviewed the facts, turned to all the parties and said, "GET OUT OF MY COURTROOM. THERE WILL BE NO ADOPTION. GIVE THIS MAN HIS CHILD. CASE CLOSED!

    Since nothing even remotely close to that happened, we are all in deep sh*t.

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  14. Its sad. I am sorry for how these two have been separated. I just cannot imagine how he can hold up, or how the life is drained out of the little one. Obviously our social system is morally depleted.

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