Please. Don't insult my intelligence. Trump spokesman Rudy Giuliani and others of the Trump campaign who are trying to make an issue of Hillary's behavior toward other woman who slept with her husband may speak to the audience who already hate Hillary, but the argument is falling flat.
Not being nice to the woman who is sleeping with your husband--no matter how it was initiated--is what we humans do. We protect our own interests, our own marriages, our men from rivals. Instinctively, we pounce to trash the
other woman who is taking our sexual partner away from us. We know that sex is a strong kind of glue, and if our partner is sleeping with someone else, we know the connection he feels toward our own family, our child, may be in jeopardy. Why there might be a child born of that liaison, and then what? How will my own interests and children be protected?! What if he deserts me and our brood!
Send us back to the cave, and I dare say we might simply drive off the invaders. Today we usually resort to words, but what we don't do is invite them in for tea--unless we want our husbands to have an affair so we are free to have our own. Or our own marriage is simply a formality, a vestige of a past. The "open marriages" of the Seventies and Eighties that garnered so much publicity led to the breakup of a great many of those marriages.
I come to this story as the other woman in an affair that I had with the man who would become the father of my daughter, a daughter we--I--later surrendered for adoption. After our daughter was relinquished, I sat through a miserable dinner with his brother who basically treated me with disdain and spoke only to the father of my child, telling him how he must dump me and stay with his wife. One of the most humiliating couple of hours of my life. To him, I was just a young blond bimbo--Patrick was 14 years older than me--who should be squatted away like one gets rid of an insistent fly. He had no idea he was the uncle of my child, for he did not know about her--no one did. What Patrick's wife said about me could not have been pretty. So it goes was my attitude then, and is today.
DON'T INSULT A WOMAN'S INTELLIGENCE
After hearing Rudy Giuliani try to disparage Hillary as anti-feminist yesterday--because she wasn't nice to the women Bill dallied with--my bullshit-meter hit tilt. This is the man whose second wife found out he was divorcing her for the woman he was having an affair with when he divulged the news in a press conference. Today the story was on the front page of the New York Times--How Hillary Clinton Grappled With Bill Clinton’s Infidelity, and His Accusers. The story says that Hillary said some not-to-nice things about Bill's women overheard by others, that she sent some nasty emails about them, but that the Bill Clinton campaign was the guiding hand behind any smear job on the women. Apparently it got rough sometimes. Even an investigator was hired to dig up dirt on them. Of course that's ugly. But this happened in the middle of the campaign for president. Campaigns for political office are not sweet simple matters. Flinging dirt around goes back to Jefferson's time, when his liaison with Sally Hemings was trumpeted in a campaign song initiated by supporters of his rival John Adams. The campaign of 1800 was as brutal and merciless as today's; the only difference was that the candidates themselves did not dirty themselves by openly participating.
So do I think any less of Hillary as a feminist? Not at all. She did what most women would have done in the middle of a presidential-election campaign--or no campaign at all. Those who are trying to make hay over this issue--and it will come up again, make no mistake--will feed the Hillary haters and make the media quack, but for the rest of us, a big yawn. I was a Hillary supporter before and continue to be. I believe she will do more for women than any other candidate we have had in the office of President. She is likely to tackle gender equity for women and men doing the same job. And she will appoint Supreme Court justices who support choice--that means abortion--for women, when Trump will do just the opposite. He's even recklessly said he would consider criminal charges against women who have an abortion; his list of Supreme Court justices are anti-abortion and could make it even more difficult for women to get an abortion in those states where it is already restricted.
I know that some readers here are anti-abortion, but we have made our position clear in the past. First Mother Forum is pro-choice. If I had not had my daughter and given her up for adoption, it is entirely possible I would have had a daughter I kept, a daughter that did not bear the onus of being relinquished and adopted. If I had not given up a daughter, I would not have such an aversion to the thought of ever having another child. Losing a child to adoption is a scar that runs deep and never fully heals. Losing a child to adoption dramatically altered the course of my life, a life I would wish on no one. As someone once said of me--You don't want to end up like Lorraine.
WHY I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT HILLARY
Hole In My Heart was not published by a major publishing house. I know this because I was told by someone who was in the meeting when this happened. I see how, having been married to someone in the same profession, one's own accomplishments are sometimes slighted or even attributed to the man's simply because. I have heard my husband complimented for something I wrote in the local paper. (Happily he corrects them.) I had to stand up to family criticism--not from my immediate family--for keeping my own name back in the day before Hillary tried to do the same.
My emotional connection to Hillary is emotional and strong. I met her once when she was a senator, but it was brief, no more than a hello. I didn't have a camera and take a selfie with her. I wish I had. Don't tell me she is an anti-feminist because she wasn't nice to the women who were sleeping with her husband; don't drag her down because Bill was a philanderer. Hillary is my candidate and as I type this I have the Woman Card, the official Hillary for America Card, propped up against my computer.--lorraine
Comments that disparage Hillary, or wish to argue the abortion question, will not be posted. On Facebook I have studiously avoided posting comments about Trump on the pages of his supporters; but some have not accorded the same civility at my page, thus I have deleted comments, stopped friends of friends from commenting, and blocked some people. Same rules as here apply at Facebook.
How Hillary Clinton Grappled With Bill Clinton’s Infidelity, and His Accusers
Hillary Rodham Clinton is known to hundreds of millions of people around the world. Yet few beyond her close friends and family have ever heard her account of her extraordinary journey. She writes with candor, humor and passion about her upbringing in suburban, middle-class America in the 1950s and her transformation from Goldwater Girl to student activist to controversial First Lady.
A WOMAN IN CHARGE: The Life of Hillary Rodham ClintonThe nuanced, definitive biography of one of the most controversial and widely misunderstood figures of our time: the woman running a historic campaign as the 2016 Democratic presidential nominee—Hillary Rodham Clinton.
by Carl Bernstein
by Carl Bernstein
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