DNA reveals a mother who rejected contact. Maybe.

Lorraine

Dear Lorraine:

"Through DNA I have a close 2nd cousin match and with help from a search angel, I found my first mother. I have a younger brother from her. My problem is she said no contact when the Children's Home Society in Florida found her back in 2007. At that point I learned that she had not disclosed my existence to her family, but now with the DNA tests results and my tree on ancestry I won't be a secret any more for long.

"Trying to figure out what to do next--should I try to contact her again through a direct letter to her, with a few pictures? We look a lot a like.

An agency lies, a mother grieves, a son is lost

Lorraine with thinking cap in her garden 

A terrible "misadoption" story about the horrific Louise Wise Agency in New York City was in my inbox days ago, well before it actually appeared in The New York Times. It the story of a Jewish teenager who reluctantly gave up her son in 1961 after immense pressure from family, and critically, the agency worker who lied to her when she wanted to get her son back before he was adopted.

At the time. Wise (ironic name, should be Louise Liar) kept babies for a couple of years in some cases to see that the merchandise was healthy before the children were adopted. (What happened to those who were deemed unfit is unknown. But I have a good guess. More about that later.)That is what happened to Margaret Erle, who was a 17-year-old high school student when she became pregnant.

How an Open Adoption becomes 'Closed'

Ken Robbins, Houses by the Bay, Archival Digital Print

A few months ago we heard from a young woman who had recently relinquished her child. She was full of pain when she wrote to us, five months after surrender of her daughter. Her "open" adoption turned into a nearly closed one after the adoptive parents of her baby read about her sorrow on her blog. She went through an agency, American Adoptions, based in Kansas, but deals with placements all over the country. Their website shows many pictures of happy couples, with dogs, without dogs, whatever you are looking for. It makes the process of giving up your child seem like the ideal solution.

The Worst Adoption Agency in the World: Gladney

Troy Dunn, of The Locator, commented yesterday to the post about the antediluvian rantings of an adoptive mother over at Huf Po, when I mentioned that rumor had it that he did not take Gladney  (Center for Adoption) cases. Troy's--can I call you Troy? I'm beginning to feel like I know you-- comments are so revealing I wanted to make sure none of you missed them and so I am making them a post today: 

Hey ya'll,
Got a note from someone saying you had mentioned me and Gladney in the same post, so thought I would swing by and leave a quick comment on the topic.
We will on occasion work on Edna Gladney cases, but they have to have some data beyond that which is provided by Gladney files or non-ID.
The reason for our hesitancy is simple- the majority of the cases we have reviewed/researched/solved from Edna Gladney were stuffed full of pages and pages of falsified documents. While it is quite normal (sadly) for adoption agencies to falsify a few things in an adoption record, the Gladney files we have studied had been tremendously falsified, often times simply duplicated. I have seen several people all get the same photo-copied "non-ID" from Gladney staffers. I have located alleged birth mothers connected to Gladney cases only to discover she was simply a woman who's identity was used over and over, and has been located by multiple adoptees in search of answers, only to find intentinal dead ends built by Gladney staffers so many years ago. Makes me sad and angry all at the same time. Let me say for the record, I have no idea what Gladney's processes and procedures are today. The tradition of falsifying entire adoption files may be a thing of the past. Perhaps it wasn't even a "tradition". Maybe I'm wrong. ;-) All I can say is that in 20 years of working thousands of cases, I have NEVER seen as much falsification in any other agency in the U.S. as I have seen with Edna Gladney cases. Tragically, many of the adoptees who have come thru that agency have unsolvable cases since names, cities, hospitals and DOB's were faked in many cases. Perhaps they felt at the time they were right, but I stand here today to state- they were WRONG. And anybody who thinks lying to adoptees is "whats best for them" is misguided.
Have a beautiful Thanksgiving to you all. I do hope each of you are blessed to find that which you seek.
In your corner,
Troy
"The Locator"
www.wetv.com/thelocator