While we at First Mother Forum encourage mothers to tell their children who their fathers are, we know it's not rare for mothers to be reluctant to reveal this information--or to downright refuse to tell. Adoptee/memorists B. J. Lifton, Amy Dean, Jean Strauss, and Zara Phillips write of their struggle to learn their father's identity. Lorraine readily shared information with her daughter Jane about Jane's father. Blogger Jane didn't need to tell her daughter Rebecca who her father was--she found him before she found Jane. We understand the need to know about one's father, and appreciate the frustration when mothers refuse to tell. Since we don't believe that people in general and birth mothers in particular are cruel, we offer
Nashville, the ABC nighttime drama, plunged head first the other night into the complex issue of when to tell someone the truth about biology--as in, that baby is yours. Before we get to the heart of the matter, a recap is in order here for those who aren't regular watchers: Guitar player, singer, all-around-cool-but-troubled guy Deacon Claybourne is the biological father of superstar country singer Rayna Jaynes's oldest daughter, Maddie. She discovered this amazing fact about herself when she was 12 or so, and found her birth certificate. Now Maddie, after a growing relationship with her natural father, has posted video of herself singing a song she says she wrote with her "dad"--and then uses the name "Maddie Claybourne" (not her legal name). Her legal name is that of the man Rayna has been married to since before she was born, and whom she thought was her daddy in every sense of the word. All hell breaks loose.
