Are birth mothers encouraged to stay in the closet?
Damn straight they are. Coming off the philosophical pap of Professor Kimberly Leighton last week on the Diane Rehm show*, the other day at the "I Love Adoption" page on Facebook, I ran smack into a poem called Emotions. It is our understanding that the I Love Adoption page, with its more 4,972 "likers" at this writing is administrated by "The Adoption Center." A quick perusal of the website of The Adoption Center yielded no physical address, no last names of anyone, and only 800 phone numbers, so their location requires more digging but a source tells me they are situated in my least favorite state, Utah. Where signing away your baby can be done as quick as you can have 'em.
Anyway, Emotions, have these lines, which I interpreted (with my suspicious mind) as being against reunion:
and then these two lines, purposefully cryptic:
"A heart is always a heart
And a rose is a rose is a rose, as someone wrote before me. I mistakenly assumed the writer, Internet,was an adoptive mother or someone--for reasons of her own--against reunion. Until I tracked down Mrs. Van Sleet on the
"I’ll be taking classes to prepare myself for a future in adoption counseling. Having spoken at multiple High Schools in Michigan and Tennessee, I’ve already had the chance to help some teenage girls better understand their options in unplanned pregnancies. I’ve also been fortunate enough to share my story at birthparent retreats, supported by the 'On Your Feet Foundation.'" OYFF was started by adoptive parents, adoption professionals, and a birth parent who recognized the need for practical help for women who had chosen adoption for their child. One wishes the OYFF had offered some practical help to young mothers so they might be able to stay on their feet--with their babies. One wishes someone had given Catelynn and Tyler some
I hope when Carly [their relinquished daughter] is old enough to realise [UK commenter, UK spelling] what you guys did for her, she will be very grateful that you made that selfless decision for her. I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your story!
That's the same ole' baloney we mothers were fed back in the Sixties. We wonder if Baby Carly will one day also become a spokesperson for the "selfless" decision of her parents. By the standard of these countless pro-adoption forces, anyone who wants a baby just needs to go to some poor part of town, or to a poor country like Haiti, and grab one when Real Mom is turned away. Some days you just feel cranky about this relentless promotion of adoption, and today is one of them. --lorraine
See also: Inconsolable grief