Gay marriage is going to happen, whether or not the Supremes come down on the right side of history or not--but us? Adoptees can't get no respect! And forget about us first mothers! We signed the paper under the OLD RULES that allowed for no contact, no knowledge, no anything in relation to our babies, and those rules now are in place, no matter that we had no choice! I remember so well the social worker saying: If you don't agree to never knowing what happened to your daughter, we can't help you. I signed, under duress, a forced confession.
I see the gay-marriage advocates on television talking about how this momentum occurred as more and more individuals came out of the closet and thus their parents and brothers and sisters and cousins had to re-think their position about the rights of a gay person to be treated like the rest of us. Now we need adoptees to step out of the sidelines, to stop waiting until their adoptive parents die, to come out and say now: I WANT TO KNOW MY TRUE HERITAGE.
And yes, now we need every first mother who ever thinks about her baby to come out of the shadows and say: We do not want anonymity. And even though there are those who do cling to it, consider this: It is inherently wrong to deny someone the knowledge of who they were at birth simply to spare these women, and men, embarrassment, no matter how long they have been lying by omission to their families and friends. Birth happens, and everyone deserves to know their true identity.
We need the momentum for change to be so pervasive that we will not encounter new laws that go halfway, and give some adoptees the right to their identities, and deny others because of the specter of a few mothers-in-hiding who want to stay there. We must not let them prevent all men and women adopted as children be free from the shackles of archaic rules that have no place in today's society.
We need the sisters and brothers and spouses to speak up about this when talk of "equal rights" passes on the lips of someone nearby. On Facebook today someone who was demonstrating at the court in DC said that she said that adoptees need their rights too, so they don't end up marrying their brothers and sisters, and the guy standing next to her said, Right, I never thought of that, my wife is adopted! We need everyone to speak up, today, tomorrow, and the day after that.
And if that happens, change will come in our lifetimes.--lorraine
Jane will be back tomorrow or very soon with a report on the second hearing on the bill in the state of Washington.