To say that the adoption commercial you are currently running for the "open heart" jewelry is triggering negative emotions with millions of people does not adequately describe the feelings that those 30 seconds rile up in me, as well as millions of other people, birth mothers as well as adoptees.
While you celebrate the happiness of the couple who receive a newborn baby, you denigrate the impact of the adoption on the mother who has recently given birth and is reeling with the loss of her child. You may have seen animals with newborns on nature programs on television, and seen what happens when newborns are separated from their mothers. Whales, lions, horses--all have that instinct to keep their newborns close. It is not different for humans. No mother gives up a child without trauma.
One of the misconceptions in adoption today is the concept of the child as a "gift." This particular Kay commercial fosters this concept by pairing the baby with a gift of jewelry. Mothers who surrender children do it for various reasons, but all boil down to one central fact: they believe they are unable to provide for the child and surrender to forces greater than their ability to resist. No teenager, nor an indigent middle-aged woman who cannot provide for another child, has a baby merely to give it as a "gift" to someone else. Though agency workers implant the idea of adoption as a loving "gift" to an infertile, needy couple, the unseen woman behind that closed door in your commercial is deeply grieving with a sorrow that will last her entire life.
Likewise, adopted people do not want to be thought of as "gifts" who are easily traded from one
family to another. That reduces them to objects, not human beings with feelings and ancestral connections to the people they were born to.
Sincerely, Lorraine Dusky
Please add your voice to this campaign to stop that ad from running. Take a moment write to Mark Light via email or snail mail, and do leave comments, both here and wherever you can. Please leave your comments here at FMF.
CEO and President
Sterling Jewelers (parent company of Kay)
Fairlawn, OH 44333
Email Mark Light at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You can see the ad at:
As well as leave a comment and a thumbs down:
Waiting to Forget: A Motherhood Lost and Found
by Margaret Moorman us a mother's story of coming to terms with the child she gave up for adoption over thirty years ago. In 1965 Margaret Moorman was unmarried, pregnant, and still in high school. Forced by societal pressures to give her baby up, she suffered emotional trauma both before and for years after the birth. At forty, she gave birth to a daughter and found herself terrified by the possibility of losing her younger child, a fear she can now trace back to her uncertain decision to give up her son. Beautifully written, a compelling writer handling the subject with grace and eloquence.