' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Adopted boy missing: for nearly 10 years.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Adopted boy missing: for nearly 10 years.

One reason we think adoption sucks is this: Another horror story hits the news. Read about it here.

Consider this, a boy of eleven--an adopted boy named Adam Herrman--goes missing in 1999 after a "spanking" with a belt (isn't that usually called a whipping?) and his adopters do not report him missing. For nearly ten years. All the while Valerie and Doug Herman collect $700-a-month state adoption assistance because, they say, if they reported him missing the state might take away two of their other adopted children, Adam's siblings. They had already lost one child the state removed, so far don't know why. They don't want to talk about it.

According to Valerie's sister and the couples' two biological children, who are older than Adam, their parents punched and kicked Adam over the years, beat him with a belt buckle and kept him chained to the bathtub faucet. Valerie Herman denies the allegations but admits that he was sometimes locked in the bathroom at night after they found knives under his pillow when he was about eight. Read more about the adopter mother's denial of abuse in The Wichita Eagle.

Okay, all those pro-adoption people who are indeed loving parents will say this is an aberration. Point taken. But if the child had been born to the Herrmans, unless they are deranged, they would have sought help and different treatment for a child that is possibly schizophrenic. If a natural child away, they would have gone to the police immediately, not simply told relatives that he had gone back to state custody, a neat excuse.

A brother of Adopter Valerie Herman doesn't believe her excuses. Read a report from KWCH .
He thinks the child is "gone."

The boy's biological father, Irvin Groerninger, says that after a divorce when the boy was 18 months, the three children were removed from the mother's home after allegations of abuse. A trucker from Indiana, he then tried to get custody but welfare officials terminated his parental rights. Why does it always seem that the state is often so eager to terminate parental rights? The man is a trucker and some official probably sniffed his nose at that. Reminds me that in the Jessica/Anna case, the biological father was a trucker and that was always mentioned.

While we can't say that keeping the natural parents involved, or keeping the birth records not sealed, would ever prevented this kind of incident, the miscreants who uphold laws that keep records sealed might consider that being adopted is not the same as being born into a family. Whatever arrangements Groerninger would have made, they were almost certainly going to be better than locking the kid in the bathroom and/or chaining him to the faucet. And if he had gone missing, it's likely that someone would have noticed.

Can we blame family members for not being more vigilant about what happened to their "nephew"? Perhaps. A simple excuse--he went back--is plausible enough.

But in a family not "created" by adoption, there is no neat excuse to cover up when a child goes missing. Family members know the kid can't be sent back.

This can now be added to the list of adoptions gone wrong--where nobody did anything until it was too late. The Herrmans deserve more than simply having the other children removed. They should be jailed for at least ten years. That's assuming they did not murder him. So far no bones have turned up. --lorraine

PS: For another tragic story, read Jane's comment that follows.


  1. This case is another tragic instance where a state has taken a child from his biological parents and put him in a far worse situation. Although states are supposed to monitor, these children they often fail to do so.

    On January 6, 2009, a foster father in Portland, Oregon, Cesar Cruz-Reyes, was sentenced to 30 months in jail for beating his two year old foster daughter. The child was placed in foster care after her parents were arrested on a meth charge. The father either bashed or beat her head so violently that she fell unconscious with bleeding around her brain and eyes. She suffered brain damage and possible blindness in one eye.

    Caseworkers did not interview the foster father prior to placing the child with him and his wife, didn't make sure he had completed foster parent training, and didn't do a criminal background check on a number of his aliases. The little girl's parents say they complained to a caseworker about bumps on their daughter's head, scratches on her cheeks, and chunks of missing hair but were ignored.

    Even though the girl's parents have completed drug treatment, the state has refused to return her and an older brother to them. Meanwhile, the foster parents have regained custody of their two children.

    Of course the state has refused comment, hiding behind a claim of privacy.

    Abuses in the nation's child welfare system are well documented, see the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform website, www.nccpr.org. These abuses will continue until federal and state officials make family preservation a goal.

  2. So many red flags there.

    First of all why are these people who lost their foster license allowed to keep "any" kids at all foster or adopted?

    Way to many of these fosters are in it for money. Its a adds to their income and managing a mobile home park can't pay that much. The boy's own father was denied (he drove a truck) and then the state pays a complete stranger money to keep them. Another red flag,,,but who's counting.

    The spankings were another red flag so they took the boy out of the home for two days?

    Then there were the reports of abuse by the "family" members, another red flag there. But why weren't they reporting abuses?

    Ten years is a long time, the body is long gone, for sure, I bet they killed him and have been caught in the lie.

    Oh, foster/adopter Valerie did return one check.

    The trauma was the thing that got me. They were afraid of losing a child that wasn't even their own?
    They were afraid that the police would find out, its not about he losing the kids in my opinion.

    I am still looking for a therapist that understands losing a baby at birth is trauma and has affected my whole life.This is trauma has been in my life for 42 years and I don't see it going away even in reunion.

    But those who adopt are traumatized,and lose a child are traumatized give me a break.

    Jane the story that you reported is disgusting. They should sue the state for the abuse of the baby. That poor baby and even after parents jump through hoops they can't get their kids back. WRONG. Its a total disregard for families, and adoption is the money maker in most states, as the states receive money from federal government for each adoption. That's is corruption in my book.


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  4. I thought you believed schizophrenia was caused by demonic possession? Should age matter, then? Ever see "The Exorcist"?

  5. You always play the devil's advocate Mairanie don't you? You have a truely I would say, an evil agenda. Always over critizing, always wanting to act like an authority, always wanting to pick fights...Yes, I do beleive schizophrenia is due to demons because it is a punishment from God which is stated in the OT and that is how he did it, with demons and spirits that is why stupid doctors can't find a cure for it. But that ailment is totally differant than demonic posessision like that little boy had, that the Exorcist movie was based on. Being possesed by the devil and being schizophrenic due to demons are two totally differant things. But if you were educated in any way, shape or form about the spiritual world you would know that. But you aren't.

  6. Got me there; nope, I'm not "educated" to believe illness is caused by demonic possession, the world is 6000 years old, UFOs or Bigfoot are real. I don't hear voices either!



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