' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: NJ Bill Voted out of Committee to Assembly. At Bleeping last.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

NJ Bill Voted out of Committee to Assembly. At Bleeping last.

The adoption reform bill in New Jersey was voted out of the Assembly Human Services committee last night: Six Democrats voted to send the bill to the entire Assembly; four Republicans abstained from casting a vote. (WTF is wrong with all of them, I want to know. Or is it just a matter of, this is a Dem bill, we don't want to vote for it and any human rights that Dems support?) But I digress.

The testimony ran on for hours, and the hearing lasted from just after two p.m. until 7:30 p.m. What I heard (had to leave at 6:30) was incredibly powerful--at least from our side of the fence. Pam Hasegawa pointed out that the original legislation from the Forties has no indication legislators meant to "promise" anonymity or secrecy from one's own child; an African American women spoke powerfully about her need to know; others spoke of not being able to get a passport because their amended birth certificate was stamped more than a year after their birth; others talked about the problems with health information. One woman who discovered she was adopted at 41 said that she had been giving doctors false information all her life--well, I forget how tragic and stupid it is sometimes to not have your birth certificate, but it was all there in strong, irrefutable language. I cheered as I listened on the computer, and I cried. Elaine Penn spoke too, in clear forceful language even though her first mother is someone...who's somewhat deranged.

Some of the antis were clearly rattled by the testimony but still they droned on, talking about how changing the law will increase abortions, which we have the stats to prove them  wrong (check the AAC site) but still they state this falsehood. It must be because they have imprinted in their minds the weak and weary women at the point of surrender. Hell, I was obsessed that the birth of my daughter not be posted in The Rochester Democrat & Chronicle back in 1966; but I never never ever wanted her to now know who I was. That was the saddest truth of relinquishment.

But now the bill at last moves forward.--lorraine


  1. I am SO sick of the oppressors and their bogus abortion argument, that is nothing less than another branch of the Birth Mother Privacy Lie that they try to grow on our Family Tree. Oh yes, women who conceive out of wedlock are so hysterical about their "sin", they are so ashamed, they would rather kill their child, then let their child see their face! Save it....I had a baby out of wedlock too, and I never wanted her to never know who I was. I hated her woman abusing Father too, and I never concealed his name from her either. Granted, there are some irrational women like poor Elanie's "maternal source" who grab The Church's bull(shit) by the horns, but one must wonder if this woman is even for real, as Elaine herself wondered blogposts ago, if this woman is even her Mother. I have wondered for a long time if we are if matched with those who gave birth to us. Considering how much The Industry lies, I do not think it is outrageous to wonder if reunioun is used to play games with our hearts as well. Why should we trust people who mix up birthdates and tell us they don't have our time of birth when they do?....Why Birth Mother Privacy is not seen as a form of outright child abuse by social losers, Adoption Agencies, The Church and the government continues to infuriate me. Denying your child the right to know who conceived and bore them because of no fault of their own, ie: their parents were not married and letting one's child feel shamed just for BEING, is nothing less than total emotional abuse and neglect. These type of parents should be OUTED for the abuse they spew, NOT honored for it. And even though the percentage of "birthparents" who act this way is very small (less than 1%) even this percentage is much to much, as no child should ever have to go through this indignation, or be forced to beleive the lie that we bastards are so dirty our own parents refuse to acknowledge us. We are people. Human beings. We do not deserve to be insulted in this way while our oppressors make MONEY off this slap in the face. I am very glad this bill was thrown out, and I can not wait until those in Congress finally see how wrong it has been to throw illegtimate babies out with the bath water too...

  2. A bad bill moves through and hopefully gets flushed.

    A compromise on civil rights is basically agreeing with the opposition's "right to privacy" lie and then asking for crumbs.

    Like adoptees don't have enough obstacles in our lives. Getting our birth certificates should be as simple to get as the non-adopted folk do. That's the bottom line.

    Compromising means you accept LESS. That is unacceptable and gross.

  3. I'm listening to the hearing now. They are all talking the talk. Don't they listen to themselves? Have they even read the bill? They should be on the other side of the aisle opposing this mess.

    This bill has to die. "Proponents" are supporting an anti-rights bill that if passed will not only kill any chance to restore the rights of all NJ adoptees but gives "birthparents" a new right--and endangers the hard-won victories in Oregon, Alabama, New Hampshire and Maine.

  4. As much as I adore Elaine, I could not support this bill. I know some people think that change comes with small steps, but I just cannot get behind a bill that continues discriminating against some adoptees.

    I doubt it will go through...at least I hope it does not.

    Again- I know people have worked very hard and think that accepting compromise is at least doing something.....

    But at the end of the day, as others have stated,this was a reunion bill- NOT an equal rights bill. It cant be, as long as some adoptees are still discriminated against.

  5. If you are going to comment here, please go to the next post (Tuesday, June 15) on the same subject. An expanded version of this post. And if you are back here and posted, please post your comment under the newer post. Then I will delete this post.

  6. I support this bill and have a great respect for the voluntary efforts of those who did not give up.

    Before Rosa Parks could claim that seat on the bus - she had to be on the bus. I hope the operation of this new law will inform the public regarding how necessary it is to treat everyone born in NJ equally. The education and the lobbying will not stop with this bill. At some point every 18 year old will get their OBC.

    Meanwhile the bill has other good points - like giving adoptive parents information they should have. The offensive disclosure veto has a 12 month limited duration.

    Support this bill - draw distinctions as appropriate and educate about what might be better, but support the bill.

    If someone gets a clean bill introduced I'll help.

    C. Swett
    member NJ and NY bars
    Bronx County Adoptee



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