' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Angry Someone attacks adoptees and first mothers!!! She/he is very very mad

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Angry Someone attacks adoptees and first mothers!!! She/he is very very mad

Comment left today: 
Vroswell has left a new comment on your post "Adoptees to Get their Original Birth Certificates ...":

"The so called first mother's on this site get no sympothy [sic] from me. If you wanted to know your child you shouldn't have been too lazy too raise it. As for the idiotic adoptees on this site you should be grateful you weren't aborted, which is what's happening to a lot of other babies because selfish people like you keep pushing at these laws. Stop trying to invade and destroy the life of the very woman who chose to save yours!!!"

Wow! One angry dude. 

This comment just came in. I wasn't going to post a blog tonight, but you know, sometimes this stuff just screams to be posted. I can't even imagine what to say to someone like this. Nor do I know why this type is so light. But what I would be willing to bet a thousand bucks on is that this person has their original birth certificate, or can get it, or doesn't need it, or has always known without question who they are, where s/he came from, where s/he were born, possibly down to the minute, as I do. Or could it possibly be from a  first/birth mother who has refused contact but finds herself trolling the Internet and OMG! came upon us band of rowdies? 

I have just heard about the case of a first mother who married the father and not only has she refused contact, she won't give the adoptee any health information. That's one cruel nasty woman. People have a right to know where they came from and who they were at birth. It's only human to want to know. And because I know there are women like that, I am not making the assumption that the writer is an adoptive parent. People find all kinds of ways to justify their opinions. I post this here as a reminder of the kind of attitudes that we still face here in the land of the free, the United States of America.

One does need to correct the impression (of Vroswell, aka Bitter Invectivee), that women are having abortions to prevent contact someday...that is simply not true. In fact, some states that have open access to original birth records have lower rates of abortion that states abutting them. Find that stats at American Adoption Congress.  (And while you are at the site, sign the birth mother petition. They are trying to reach a thousand names--they are at approximately 900 now.)  Add Your Name to the Cause


  1. This comment sounds and smells like a bitter, unfit, nutbag adopter to me! Classic adopter rage and hatred towards mothers and adoptees. Classic adopter abuse!

  2. .....if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...it's usually an ap or a pap.

    An idiotic, abortion loving and ungrateful bastard

  3. Troll or temper tantrum - I can't tell.

    Full of self-contradiction of course.

    Mothers who were "too lazy" to raise their children (but want contact after the APs did all the "hard work") would have aborted if they thought those kiddies would ever be able to find them.

    I remember someone with a similar rant at HuffPo - parents who don't want contact need to be protected from selfish adoptees AND parents who DO want contact have no right to it because they gave away their kids fair and square. No backsies.

    Where's the part about how OBC access will ruin the economy? May as well get blamed for that too. It's a wonder how we can all sleep at night!

  4. Wow is right! And I dare say this person hasn't been paying attention to the presidential original birth certificate controversy either. Or maybe they are OK with the fact that any adoptee could face the same drama if they were to run for president one day. Having access to ones own personal legal documentation is a basic human right. What I hoo-hoo!

  5. Vroswell - first off, no one wants your sympathy. As far as the "idiotic adoptees" - I can only ask this - when you were adopted, did you think you were idiotic? I hope not. Or are you an adopter? Either way, no woman saved my daughter from abortion, only from living a normal life - too bad you are deluded by the message that you are trying to present.

    I will pity you, and ignore you . Your rant is not only ignorant, it is poorly written and there are no facts that support your statements. Come back with some research that is done by someone that does not have a vested interest in the results..... so, no churches or religious affiliates and no adoption agencies. Until then - GROW UP. Thank you.

  6. I'll get right on working super hard to be grateful just as soon as what the dear, angry commenter can tell me something to be grateful for that doesn't contradict itself lol.

    But I do agree with one thing. She's not my "so called first mother," she's my mom. Good call anon.


  7. Vroswell sounds like the angry cousin of Nancy Efay!! Too creepy to be real...or maybe I'm just wishing. If this is a real person they have major judgmental issues. Probably hates gays, Blacks. Hispanics, and don't even get her started on "welfare mothers!"

    In other words a BIGOTED MORON!!!

  8. This is the kind of comment that should be ignored. Clearly screaming for attention and you have given it to him. I went to the link of Vroswell and found a brand new blog, just one post very like this one, full of misspellings. A new stalker perhaps?

  9. "They" say stupidity is the most abundant element in the universe. This troll makes me think maybe "they" are right.

  10. Troll. Don't feed.

  11. I have followed this blog for quite some time, but have never commented. Believe me, sometimes I have wanted to. I just never have because typically when someone voices a different opinion on this blog, they are attacked. I agree with some of the things you address here, and some things I disagree with. One thing I agree with is that the person who is the author of the comment you posted is ignorant, rude, and a whole lot of other adjectives I shouldn't say in front of my children. However, when people like Anne make general statements such as "This comment sounds and smells like a bitter, unfit, nutbag adopter to me! Classic adopter rage and hatred towards mothers and adoptees. Classic adopter abuse!", it's offensive to me.

    I adopted two children during the "semi-closed" era of adoption. I guess that makes me and bitter, unfit, and a nutbag? Just because I adopted? I WANTED my adoptions to be open. In fact, I immediately started trying to make contact with the birth parents of my children. It took some time, but I finally found all of them and we enjoy an open relationship with each of them. I have willingly and happily shared any and all information they asked for. I have included them in the lives of their/my children. I love them. I honor them. I don't have rage and hatred toward them, and I certainly don't abuse them.

    I don't dispute the fact that there are some people out there that do not have the same respect for first/birth mothers. Please just don't lump all adopters in the same category.

  12. This commenter is for sure a flaming a**hole and a troll. As someone else said, don't feed it. There is no point in speculating on who it "might" be, adoptive parent, closet mom, anti-abortion nutter, or whether or not this person has their OBC. This troll's ignorant comments speak for themselves. Ignore it, move on, nothing to see here........

  13. Well, I just did check out Vroswell's one-post blog, which seems to have been started because we and others like us have gotten on her nerves. She doesn't say who she or he is--adopter, adoptee, first parent.

    No matter, it is hard to figure why s/he is so against people knowing who they are when they were born? What are people like that afraid of?

  14. And to Not Kim:

    Jane and I do know that some adoptive parents are the opposite of this woman, and are glad to know them. Thanks for commenting here and reminding us.

    Please come back and we'll try to hold down the invective, but we do have mothers here who were lied to by the adoptive parents, and what were supposed to be "open" adoptions quickly closed. So some commentors are dealing with a lot of very hurt, and often rightfully angry, emotions.

    And though I suspect she is an adopter, until she or he says so, all we know about her or him is that he or she is ignorant and unable to have compassion for others.

  15. She said "a" nutbag adopter, not "all adopters are nutbags."

    Nothing like the privileged end of the constellation asking the least-privileged to dance around their feelings. *sigh*

  16. Ignorant, rude, and very presumptuous. I afree that feeding trolls usually only encourages them. It is sad that attitudes like this are so pervasive in discussions about adoption.

    I have to laugh, though, when I think that this person thinks he or she hurt my fee-fees by telling me I should be grateful my mom didn't abort me. I believe abortion would have been the kinder choice, both for my mom and for me. But it wasn't my choice to make.

  17. The attitude expressed in this comment was actually fairly common at one time albeit usually not stated in such a crude and misspelled way. "Let sleeping dogs lie and BE GRATEFUL!"

    It's hard to tell which side of adoption s/he comes from. At first I thought she was a bmother who is deep in the closet and doesn't want anyone rattling her skeletons. But maybe s/he is just a closed minded person who makes his or her living off of closed adoptions.

    As for abortion, my first mother would not have had an abortion since she very much wanted HER child. It was society that said she was unfit to raise me. It was not at all that she didn't want to and hardly because she was too lazy (how insulting!).

    Lorraine wrote:
    "I have just heard about the case of a first mother who married the father and not only has she refused contact, she won't give the adoptee any health information. That's one cruel nasty woman."

    That sounds to me like one cruel nasty woman dealing with a whole lot of guilt.

  18. Lorraine, thank you. I am not here to diminish anyone's pain. I want to learn and share. Mostly, I don't want to be labeled negatively simply because I am an adoptive mother.

  19. Sad that the whole world has to revolve around adopters and that they continually try to silence adoptees. This forum is ridiculous if people cannot comment as insecure adopters cannot handle the truth. It serves no one but them if people cannot comment. But that is classic as that is who adoption serves, hook, line and sinker.

  20. Vroswell is an anti-open records nutbar who is kidding their deluded self they can undermine the credibility of the open records movement by prompting other nutbarsof the opposite persuasion into making comments like the one that described "adopter rage and hatred towards first mothers and adoptees" as "classic", as in "typical".

  21. I made the major mistake of trying to post another view on this person's...er, ah, blog? Then I realized that was just what she wanted me to do. This is not someone who will accept a rational argument. Nor will she keep her opinions on her blog or with like-minded people. This is someone who is pissed, a poor speller and has nothing better to do than lay all her insecurities out in the open. Delete...Ignore.

  22. Ok, one question where is this blog? I would love to read it. The writing style is extremely familiar and I would like to double check it.

  23. Lori, just click on VRoswell's name in the blog You'll get there. I suspect most of the traffic at her blog is from FirstMotherForum.

  24. Lorraine, I found it, thank you. One thing that strikes me is that the writing style is very familiar to me and the things said I have heard before, from the person whose writing style matches this..... Some days I wonder if ignorance or flat out stupidity is the reason for this bologna.

    There is a difference between genius and stupidity - Genius has boundaries.......

    I just wish the writer would stop drinking their brand of koolaid and get kelation (sp?) treatments for their brain.



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