' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Adoptees (could be) banned from NC bathrooms

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Adoptees (could be) banned from NC bathrooms

A new North Carolina law prohibits local governments from enacting civil rights laws for gays and transexuals. It also requires that in schools and government buildings, people must use the bathroom that corresponds with their "biological sex" defined as the one "stated on a person's birth certificate." Presumably, North Carolina has hired scores of police to check birth certificates as people enter bathrooms.

Here's the rub for adoptees. Their birth certificates may be stamped "amended" which will indicate that something has changed from the original birth certificate and for all the cops know, that something might be their gender.

Although adoptees may argue that it was their name, not their gender
that was changed, the cops could decide to err on the side of being absolutely sure rather than common sense. Better let an adoptee pee in an alley than risk a trans sneaking into the "wrong" bathroom. Until they have their original birth certificate, theoretically adoptees could be barred from North Carolina bathrooms in public buildings. For an adopted North Carolinian obtaining their original birth certificate (and thus the right to use a facility based on gender) may be impossible since the Tar Heel state is one of 30 that does not allow adoptees to have a copy of their original birth certificate.

Okay, we are being satirical on the bathroom issue, but it is theoretically possible under both sets of nutty laws: those prohibiting trans to use the facility of their choice and adoptees who cannot obtain their original--and accurate--birth certificates.

According to North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory, the purpose of the law  is to "counter government overreach forcing businesses to allow men to be in girls' restrooms or shower facilities." It's hard to imagine that a man would don women's clothes, get hormone treatments to grow breasts, and maybe get surgery all to gawk at girls who would be in stalls with their private parts not visible to these alleged would-be wrong-doers. (Likewise, the danger of allowing adoptees to have their original birth certificates is imaginary.)

There is, however, one critical difference between the plight of transexuals and adoptees: Corporate America is enraged at the the shabby treatment of gays and transexuals. Ninety prominent leaders have signed a letter calling for repeal of the North Carolina law including the heads of Apple, Facebook, Airbnb, Yahoo, Salesforce, Marriott, Pfizer, Levi Strauss, Bank of America,. American Airlines, and Barnes and Noble.

Corporate American has not come to bat for adoptees. Perhaps it's time for those of us who work at those corporations to ask them to follow suit for adoptee and first mother rights, and to flex their muscles as well and never hold a conference in a state that does not allow adoptees access to their actual, original "birth" records, instead of that sham piece of paper with names that have been falsified.--jane
North Carolina Bathroom L
Pat McCrory
90 Big Name Businesses

Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA
"I loved this book. Unlike the author who was adopted, I just found out that my mother lied to me all my life about who my father was. I'm 66 yrs old! So needless to say, finding out this late in life was a mind blower. Richard Hill's story has inspired me simply because he was so tenacious about finding out who his birth parents were. The ebook also includes an addendum which explains all about DNA tests, how they work, and which one to use...I have been able to figure out which family I came from, but like the author, I'm still trying to figure out which of the three brothers was the culprit! It's been a very valuable tool."--Marcia Gorman at Amazon


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  2. I like the way you connected amending gender with amending other details on a birth certificate. You made me think of an old thing in a new way. Also, so glaringly true about the ire of Corporate America being high in one arena but not for adopted people.

  3. Realistically I do not think corporate America is ever going to come out with a position on adoptee rights to their OBC, just as they will never come out on a number of other worthy but special interest issues. I recently saw a post somewhere asking why they have not come out for abortion rights, with the explanation that corporations will not take on every issue, that is not their focus. The transgender bathroom issue is not really about birth certificates but about bathrooms, and everybody needs to use them, and every business has them. I am sure transgender people are in and out of the restroom that they look like they should use every day without anyone noticing or questioning. This has become a legal issue because it has been challenged and someone has passed an unenforceable transphobic law. It really has nothing at all to do with adoptees or OBC access, except as a satirical stretch. People can function just fine in their business life without their OBC,no matter how personally distressing and insulting lack of access is, but everyone needs to use the bathroom regardless of what gender they identify as.

    Corporations are not going to come out for adoptee rights because it really does not concern them. It is not seen as a huge civil rights issue, and I fear only a minority of adoptees and others involved in some way in adoption even see it as an important issue. Of course we are in that minority, we believe it is an important civil and human right and are fighting for it and will continue to fight, but we have to realize that tactics like looking for corporate sponsorship or trying to stage huge demonstrations where only a few hundred at most will ever show up is not going to work for us, we need to find other ways and look for how people working for change in laws that could not mobilize millions in support have managed to get their legislation passed anyhow.

  4. I just stumbled upon this searching for my older brother who was adopted and after reading Jennifer's comment I just had to respond..Jennifer we have looked for our brother for years but we always feel helpless because it was a sealed adoption and we have no rights to any info.
    And just a few years ago did my Mom find out she could register..reading your comment just brought tears to my eye's cause I know fear that maybe he did as you and didn't see we was registered I pray that is not the case..I can understand people's feelings but I'm just talking from a siblings point of view I pray every day that he finds us..I have even tried to contact that new show long lost family we are all desperately searching for him..in hopes he may even stumbled upon this as I did..I will post what I do know..my Mom was 14 pregnant 15 at birth she was sent to Fairfield home for unwed mothers in fairfield Connecticut gave birth to a son on April 18 1966 birth name Timothy Rossi..I just pray one day we all can reconnect my Mom pains for her son every day she truly loves him and wishes she never had to put him up for adoption



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