' [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: Once again women's voices ignored as Kavanaugh goes slippen' and sliden' to the Supreme Court. SNAFU.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Once again women's voices ignored as Kavanaugh goes slippen' and sliden' to the Supreme Court. SNAFU.

Dusky testifying at a NY legislative
 hearing on sealed records in 2014
This was going to be a blog only about what will happen to the women who end up with a forced pregnancy if Roe V. Wade is rolled back by the anti-women's rights judges Trump and the Republicans are sending to the Supreme Court. One more vote there and Roe is toast--just as Trump promised on the campaign trail. The blog in question was written more than a week ago when technical difficulties swallowed it. (I will get to that later.)

Life then intervened (related to the ankle issue, getting two new-to-us vehicles that do not aggravate said ankle, a local political commotion we are involved in, and finally, relatives visiting for the weekend which provided a welcome respite from the aforementioned political firestorm) and here I am. But so much has changed since then with the allegations of basically a fumbling, attempted rape by a drunken, 17-year-old Brett Kavanaugh. The incident occurred 36 years ago, and so there's not enough for a conviction, but his actions do speak to the character of the man who would be on our highest court.


As in 1992 when Professor Anita Hill's claims of sexual harassment at the hands of a Supreme Court nominee, Clarence Thomas, were ignored (and Thomas confirmed), the same sexist pattern is happening all over again. Kavanaugh's accuser, Christine Blasey Ford, is being summarily dismissed in public by Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), who had a phone conversation with Kavanaugh since the accuser went public with her name. Based on that conversation, Hatch says that Kavanaugh doesn't remember being at such a party, and that Blasey (as she prefers to be called) must be "mixed up." Hatch went on to say that Kavanaugh is "upset" about the allegation, and that he is "a very strong, decent man." In other words: believe the man, discount the woman as "mixed up."


All this reminded me of how it must have been when the New York legislative body in the mid-Nineteen Thirties passed laws doing their best to erase the past and true identities of the children women relinquished for adoption. How many natural mothers, forced to give up their children due to shame and poverty, were asked for their opinion on the sealing of the original birth records and adoption papers?

I'm guessing here, since there are no records of any such woman being asked, that the answer is a big fat NONE. When men in power don't like what we say, they just ignore us. If they ask us at all. As of now, Blasey is asking for a FBI investigation before she appears before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and neither the committee or President Trump is ordering the FBI to do such an inquiry, and so we are at a standstill. Certainly it appears that if she submits to a grilling by the senators of the committee, it will about to a show trial, she will be pilloried, and the Republicans will ignore her and move for a vote. Anything to get Kavanaugh seated ASAP and before the midterms! when the makeup of the committee may change and the GOP may not have the votes to confirm Kavanaugh. If they were serious about getting to the bottom of Blasey's claim, they would have an outside investigator, or the FBI, investigate her claims.

If Kavanaugh is confirmed, we will have two guys on the Supreme Court with a muddled history of sexual power and abuse over women. And both of them will ultimately be deciding cases or a case about a woman's right to control her own reproductive system. Kavanaugh has demonstrated his antipathy towards Roe in previous decisions, but has danced around the issue when asked how he would vote. He hides behind the skirts of evasiveness with "I can't answer a hypothetical question" with all the grace of a dancing hippo; he calls Roe "settled law" but won't say if it was "correctly decided," which are the key words in this parry-and-thrust war of words between leaving Roe as is, or doing away with it altogether.

Yet what we do know is that Trump really really wants to deliver on a campaign promise--that is, to make abortion impossible to legally obtain in this country. And in all likelihood, Kavanaugh would give him that fifth vote he needs. And woman who do not want to bring a child into the world to give to someone else to raise, will find other avenues blocked. Abortion will be forced underground again, while birth and adoption records of the past will remain sealed. More women will try to self-abort, turn to hospital or fire station"safe havens" and leave infants, or feel forced to turn to adoption. A great many will be too traumatized to ever have another child. I cannot help wonder about the child I might have had if not for the one I relinquished, and the hole that left in my heart.

In New York, after years of lobbying and bills that unseal the birth records of adoptees, after evasive actions by Governor Andrew Cuomo, after campaigns and petitions, after two of the main opponents in Albany have been found guilty of corruption and are either on their way to jail (Sheldon Silver) or awaiting sentencing (Dean Skelos), we are still nowhere. Despite public awareness, strong legislative support, the advent of DNA reunions, legally we are still exactly nowhere. When at last will women's voices be heard?--lorraine

SOURCES
Sen. Orrin Hatch says Kavanaugh denied being at party described by accuser Fordhttps://www.youtube.com/watchv=5WJVEdPqwZs&feature=youtu.be&t=10s
Boys Will Be Supreme Court Justices
Guilty, Again: Dean Skelos, Former Senate Leader, Is Convicted of Corruption in Retrial

ALSO FROM FMF

Adoption Not Abortion: First mothers who never have another child

Akin, GOP to women: We are in charge of your bodies, no exceptions for rape


TO READ
Giving Up Baby: Safe Haven Laws, Motherhood, and Reproductive Justice
By Laury Oaks

June 4, 2016
I have been a leading critic of save haven laws since they came on the scene more than 15 years ago. I've written 
dozens of blogs about them, op ed pieces,testified and submitted opposition testimony on SH bills in several 
states, and for years published a weekly newsletter on newborn discard and neonaticide. With the exception of 
my work, as well as that of Baby Love Child, Maryanne Cohen, Carol Sanger, and Erik L. Smith, 
most commentary, studies, etc have just not gotten it. Laury Oaks does.

Although Oaks comes to her work as a reproductive justice issue, while mine has been focused on adoptee 
equality and rights (SH babies are highly adoptable) she covers the same ground I have. and we share similar 
observations and conclusions. I was thrilled to see some of my work referenced in the book--and the arguments 
I and Bastard Nation and a handful of others have argued over the years are all over the place, suggesting that 
adoptee equality and reproductive justice are linked.

28 comments :

  1. Hey, I don't disagree with anything you said. However, Diane Feinstein's decision to wait 6 weeks to act on this information about Kavanaugh adds fuel to the Republican's reaction of minimizing the abuse. The tactic of revealing an 11th hour revelation of a powerful man with MeToo behavior from the remote past has been played and played and played by both parties on many occasions. It may make the accusations seem less credible to some, enabling them to see this only as a delay tactic to confirmation.

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    1. To date, there has been no evidence that Brett has "metoo" behavior; the evidence to date from 65 women is that he has been nothing but a gentleman. As a mother of boys, I personally do not want to see any male falsely accused, especially from an alledged incident that occurred 36 years ago!

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    2. Let's remember that if Kavanaugh is innocent, he has nothing to worry about. "falsely accused" and "36 years ago" cannot go hand in hand. The passing of time does not nullify an allegation such as this, although it is the favorite defense of the perpetrators.

      Everyone makes mistakes - but an appointment to the Supreme Court is for life, and neither the President nor anyone else can remove a SC justice from his/her post. This is an extremely serious appointment, and so these accusations must be taken extremely seriously, and must be investigated, to allow the truth about Kavanaugh's character to unfold - whatever it may be.

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    3. Also, I'm not sure why Diane Feinstein deserves blame for any of this. Doesn't Kavanaugh deserve blame for what he did, if in fact he did? Not Feinstein?

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    4. Feinstein knew in July and sat on it. This was a purely political move on her part. In this country, we still have innocent until proven guilty. Kavanaugh has a 40 year record of exceptionally ethical behavior and his reputation is being falsely smeared.

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  2. Thanks Sandy. I haven't read of any real proof that the abuse occurred. Should have referred to it as "alleged abuse." If it were my son I wouldn't want him falsely accused either. And postponing the investigation for 6 weeks only weakens the case, in my opinion.

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  3. Why on earth would he have collected information from 65 women that he didn't rape them?
    What kind of background would someone have to feel he needed that? And to make sure the record is updated: The vast majority of those 65 women no longer stand by the statements he felt he needed to have on hand. In addition, I agree with "new and old" - these are not criminal proceedings and the level of proof that is required for criminal proceedings does not need to met here. We are talking about a lifetime appointment to the highest court in our country. Higher standards should be met.

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  4. I dunno why everyone is so up in arms about a long ago 'alleged' 'attempted' 'rape.' I did far worse in high school and it hasn't stopped me from becoming a _______ (fill in the blank.)

    Oh wait, this is a blog where the primary readership is a group of people who made a decision (or for whom a decision was made) roundabout late high school or early adulthood the outcomes of which caused them so much pain, trauma and they've had to deal with it all throughout their lives. Not to mention the impact their 'alleged' behavior has had on others' lives. I guess they wouldn't understand Kavanaugh's situation or have any insight or empathy into it AT ALL. Most y'all being women yas couldn't possibly understand what it's like for a MAN with such a potentially wonderful future about to be taken away... after his years of an already wonderful life, why should he suddenly have to pay the price now? Cry me a _______ ________ (fill in the blanks.)

    I tried to kill Brett Kavanaugh in high school and it hasn't affected me or him afterwards in any way. I cut his dick off with a butcher knife in high school. You know, normal high school girl shenanigans. (I said dick, ha ha!) There, that felt cathartic if only ridiculous.

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    1. Kaisa, LOL you are on a roll here!

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    2. :) Glad you laughed. I don't have the patience and persistence that you and many of your readers have to deal with these stacked decks. I honestly don't know how you do it, and i admire it greatly. I have had a good life - heck, i'm an American, don't most Americans have many advantages over what millions of people in other lands have? That being said, as an American citizen, i tire of my stories, my role, my plight, being devalued and brushed aside by other citizens - primarily family - as unimportant, among other things, as a woman... lately i find comfort in sharing absurdity over 'herstory.'

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  5. I'd be inclined to give Kavanaugh a pass -- after all he was a teenager doing what was apparently accepted in his culture -- except for two thing. He is opposed to allowing women the choice of whether they will bear a child. If he had succeeded in raping Ford, it would be off to the Catholic home for unwed mothers and give the baby to a deserving couple while he's off to Harvard. I have the same thoughts about President T. It's okay to screw every women he can whether they are willing or not and then force them to bear any resulting child. This is the epitome of male hubris -- I can put my seed where I want and once it sprouts, it is more precious than the welfare of the unwilling woman.

    The second reason I wouldn't give Kavanaugh a pass is that he's likely lying. Ford has provided enough details to be credible. If the D's were going to get someone to make up a story, she'd fabricate a more recent incident. Now Ford may be wrong in some details but something happened at that party. If Kavanaugh is an honorable man, he'd admit it and that would be the end of it. If he is telling the truth that he doesn't remember the incident, it is because he was drunk so often and attacked so many girls he can't remember this particular incident.

    I do fault the D's for holding on to the story since July. I also fault Ford hedging on testifying.

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    1. "after all he was a teenager doing what was apparently accepted in his culture" -- i take it that you are being sarcastic?!

      for the sake of (absurdity?) discussion, i'll take that comment seriously and ask - acceptable to whom in "his" culture? certainly not to Dr. Blasey !! And certainly not by the leader of our land, who has recently admitted the severity of the claim even in his own judgment by saying that if the allegation were true, the police and even the FBI (more absurdity) would have been called at the time! By not only her, but her parents, if they indeed actually loved her at all.

      It is very frustrating to me to read such a comment, if meant in truth, by someone of an older guard. I was in high school in the 80s and I did not feel that my parents would have been sympathetic to my situation at all when i was assaulted (not sexually) by my ex-boyfriend at a party - my graduation party! (I never brought it up.)

      I did not think they would be sympathetic at all to a sexual assault i experienced in college by a friend of the family - and indeed they were not when i brought up the subject without referring to who did it - they did not even ask who did it by the way. nor were they sympathetic when i was assaulted non-sexually in college. why did i have that sneaking suspicion that they wouldn't be sympathetic? because it was apparently acceptable in the culture that they viewed me as a part of. believing that makes it so.

      I think there is way too much emphasis here on the fact that this assault was sexual in nature, as if that makes a difference on way or the other. It was a brutal, physical assault ! The details make more of a difference to the victim, i'm sure, but an alleged perpetrator of a physical attack is either a perpetrator or not.

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    2. Kavanaugh's alleged behavior was acceptable until fairly recently. A boy or man went as far as he could and only stopped when she made it absolutely clear he needed to stop. Control was the girl's responsibility. In my dating days, girls carried mad money with them on a date so if a guy got too out of line, she could pay for a cab to get home.

      People at that time would have said "What was she thinking? Why the parents let a 15 year old go to a party where there would be drinking and apparently little adult supervision. It was generally known that if a girl went to a party with drinking and no adults there was going to be trouble. And if a girl got pregnant, well, it was her fault.

      While Dr. Blasey was traumatized over the incident, I'm sure she didn't consider his behavior an aberration. I suspect that she didn't tell anyone because she considered herself at fault.

      I have to say that I'm surprised that she was so traumatized that she brought it up with a counselor years later.

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    3. I should add I did not go to any parties where there was drinking or girls get assaulted in high school. I heard about such parties where there was drinking. I did go to parties where there was a lot of what we called necking. girls were under pressure to "co-operate." And there were couples who disappeared into the bedrooms.

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    4. Thanks for sharing Jane. I guess there are different experiences across the US. Underage drinking was required in the Midwest where i grew up. Despite being the bible belt, Cincinnati area was 75% Catholic and they had a LOT of holidays. The parents drank, and if they were partying, they were generous with the alcohol, and the rest of the time we spent much of our free time trying to figure out how to get it. Kissing, necking, was not something that was considered compulsory by me or my female classmates at all. If a girl got pregnant, it may have been her fault according to her parents but that was not the consensus among the young men. There had been a big backlash against deadbeat dads and divorced fathers who had disappeared from the scene.

      We had no mad money. We had no cabs it was the rural suburbs. The look and feel was very, very much out of a John Hughes film, sneaking partying, lots of drinking and ridiculous behavior, but very little sex. Parents were disinterested and frequently absent, and most kids were left without means - no car, no money, often no extra-curricular activities, not much to do. Of course AIDS was the big scare, and Nancy Reagan was busy telling us to Just Say No to drugs. Blockbuster and VHS - Monty Python, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, and Star Wars movies dominated. Older kids had to keep track of the younger kids, and were wary of exposing them to too much, for their safety and also so they wouldn't tattle, i'm sure. Kids trusted kids, and not the parents. That's a hallmark of Gen X.

      We all had our eyes on University of Cincinnati, or a Big Ten school like Purdue or Ohio State. We snuck into the city and college parties (Adventures in Babysitting, Heathers) but we were too scared as high schoolers to drink anything while there. (And yes, some idiots tipped cows a la Heathers, too.) 3.2 beer was all you could get at 18, and systematically that disappeared, and the drinking age was moved to 21 state by state, some made the grandfather clause, some did not but we could still easily make a fake Pennsylvania driver's license and get into a bar if we had the guts to. If we could, on Halloween we hitched a ride to Athens Ohio and tried to score some pot but it was weak and we had to get home before dawn. There were still dry counties (Indiana University was completely dry). Canada was a road trip worth taking when you could get away with it (Windsor!) to try real beer. Sometimes you could get an older guy to buy you a beer at a heavy metal concert. I had a friend who had a relative who worked at Polygram records and we had backstage passes at many of the concerts, but there too, despite the lifetstyle portrayed on MTV, you couldnt have a beer with them unless you were 21, and you couldnt get on the bus with them behind the concert hall unless you were 18. My friend sometimes could get a musician to sign her cleavage with a sharpie, but even a young Jon Bon Jovi said no to that.

      I'm Generation X just like Dr. Blasey and it was definitely NOT acceptable to be assaulted sexually or otherwise, not among my peers, and not among many of the younger parents (my parents were older because they had tried to have biological kids first.) (continued)

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    5. (part two) Back to the Future wouldn't have even made sense or been humorous to me if girls were expected to 'put out' in the 80s. We were beyond that old fashioned stuff. We brought our thinking to college - Ohio State, the largest school geographically with the largest undergrad population at the time by far, and THE primo party/drinking school in the nation. We weren't afraid of being coerced to have sex with the guys we went to class with, we were afraid being raped by the stranger lurking in the shadows as we walked home unaccompanied or took a jog after dark or in the park alone (still feel that way.) Girls checked on each other and accompanied each other on walks home at nite. We had out ATT&T cordless phones and we tested the ranges - "i'm going from my apartment to my car in the parking lot (where there were gang symbols on the dumpster) can you still hear me? I'm still ok. Ok i'm in the car safely and i'm on my way to your place."

      I guess maybe pop culture did a number on me even in the 70s, I do remember seeing Bad New Bears in 2nd grade, and really not getting the humor in bad taste, the alcoholic coach with the kids in a hotel didn’t make any sense, my dad coached Little League and he had to get permission to take them to A&W after a game. I went to most of my brother’s baseball games and my dad coached him through his freshman year (Big Red Machine aspirations!) but there never was any adult male offering me French jeans to seduce a heavy hitter to play ball. Gross and absurd ! Must have been an intercity thing? I thought, like the opening scene in Candleshoe with Jody Foster. Maybe exclusively an LA thing. No little girls I knew dressed in a skirt suit, only Jody and Kim Richards in Witch Mountain. I got Kristy McNichol and Jody Foster and Tatum O’Neal confused sometimes - The Little Girl Who Lived Down the Lane and Little Darlings horrified me. Yuck.

      I didn't require counseling for any attacks i went through, but I never felt that my life was about to end, either. Still, they shook me up at the time quite a lot. after watching lifetime movies (before the channel i think) i was certain that if i ever accidentally dated an abusive guy - i'd drop him like a hot potato - and i did in high school. The Tracey Thurman story was made into a TV movie and it horrified all. Boys i knew were raised to NEVER hit a girl even if she hits you.

      That being said i imagine the east coast prep school privileged class had a different take, but it is hard for me to imagine that the popular culture that shaped my cohort didn't shape hers in a similar way, and that she didn't have similar expectations about her bodily safety at a party in the 80s.

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    6. (part three)
      So it is very frustrating to read that someone from an older generation, who possibly had kids in high school in the 80s, but young enough to have experienced the 60s (not the 50s like my adoptive parents) would have been willing to give Kavanaugh a pass on his behavior in the 80s based on how she had perceived things during her own time, and therefore girls in the next generation should also have expected the same bad treatment. We did not, and, we expected, and still expect, better from the older generation. And better for the younger generation. How else is change made?

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    7. I gotta add one more thing because this is really frustrating to me... thanks for indulging me...

      There is a thing called "date rape." So far, Blasey has not called this a date rape and no mention of it being a possible case of date rape has been mentioned in the press that i've seen. Your high school age experiences, Jane, about couples at parties and taking cab money just in case, refer to the expectation that a young woman was to "control" a date's sexual interest. We don't even know that Blasey and Kavanaugh were dating and that there was any expectation, as I read you to imply, for her to control her date's sexual interest. Therefore I do read you to be saying that you believe it was okay and acceptable in the 80s for a high school girl to expect rape attempts at a party, including those where the perp covers her mouth. This seems very different to me than from a case of date rape - did she or didn't she say no? and did she or didn't she start kissing him, and was she or wasn't she going along with things until she "says" she wasn't, after the fact = date rape. (Btw, as teens in the 80s we were actively being schooled about date rape, that not only was regular rape not ok, but even date rape, was not ok.)

      I do have a question. Blasey's account is that she was on her stomach and Kavanaugh was grinding against her. I can't help but wonder if he was joking or communicating an intention to anally rape her. Or, if he was too drunk to know or even communicate - so far we don't know what he said or she said - but that in either case, I wonder if Blasey thought she was about to be anally raped. She has not given full enough details at this point to know (that I know of.) So I take for granted that your experience in high school is the way it was - I accept it without question. It was ok for a guy to "take advantage" of a girl in the 60s, it was expected that he'd try to. Was it okay for him to try to anally rape her too? Or was there a line drawn against that? What if they were in fact dating? Could a girl who was expecting to lose her virginity on a date, also reasonably expect that she might be legitimately anally raped? Or was there a line drawn between the vagina and the anus, and if so, do you know when historically was that line drawn?

      Was it okay for boys to expect that if they were drunk, that another boy might anally rape them at a party too? I suspect the answer to this one is no. But as far as what a young woman in the 60s could expect, I do genuinely want to know.

      I apologize to be using such graphic language but it is a graphic subject. I probably sound more aggressive than i mean to - I'm well past being angry over what i consider to be old fashioned thinking, and i accept that things were indeed different before me. But I obviously take issue with what i think is a lack of consideration on your part, that things might have been different by the 80s, that a young woman might have expected physical safety at a party with friends and classmates even wayyyy back then, as opposed to whatever went on in the 60s.

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    8. I went to some of those parties... I lived in NY state and the drinking age in the 1960s was 18 for all alcoholic beverages. So, no problem for high schoolers and young people to get any booze they wanted, and someone could always buy it legally, no problem at all. We never knew for sure who was going to be there and sometimes several hundred people might show up.
      Most of the kids behaved very well, actually. Only a few got out of control. But when they got out of control.... it was bad. Fatal car accidents. Girls attacked.Even some stabbings.

      And here's another horrible thing I remember, from college/university. Almost too terrible to believe, but it was real: the so-called "pig party."
      Fraternities would invite the most "unattractive girls " to a party, tricking them into thinking they were actually interested in them!! and get them drunk, do insulting cruel things to them, and humiliate them, including rape in some cases. Just thinking and remembering this brand of cruelty to girls who never harmed anyone, makes my blood boil.
      This Kavanaugh thing has awakened a lot of memories from long ago, of cruel and vicious behavior towards girls and women.

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  6. Jane--Next blog (hope to do tomorrow)I am going to talk about why we should really oppose Kavanaugh--his obvious but obfuscating responses on abortion and Roe. But now there is a woman who remembers hearing about the party incident who went to the same school as Blasey.

    A former classmate of Christine Blasey Ford tells NPR that she does not know if an alleged sexual assault by Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh took place as she first suggested on social media.

    That's different from what Miranda wrote Wednesday in a now-deleted Facebook post that stated definitively, "The incident DID happen, many of us heard about it in school."

    I'm going with the fact that it likely happened, and it was ultimately shoved under the rug in the era of "boys will be boys" as Melania has relegated Trump's talking about women to Billy Bush. It's not enough to "convict" Kavanaugh, but it now doe seem that he's lying or was too drunk to remember the incident. Not exactly stellar material for the Supreme Court for the next several decades.

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  7. This is anon from9/20
    50 years ago my birth mother was coerced into not putting the man who impregnated her on the birth certificate to "protect his promising future". Now, 50 years later, when I try to get medical information I am told that I am potentially ruining the life of a man who made ("one small") mistake long ago. Can you not all see the parallels? I do not believe it is possible to have self respect as a woman - or have respect for any woman at all (yourself, your daughter, your mother, your sister) and support Kavanaugh.

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    1. One 'small' mistake? You are one real person and I hope that you find a way to get medical information. Is it your birth mother or who is still protecting this guy? Kavanaugh is certainly the kind of guy that would be of the 'one small mistake' and I don't get to be a Supreme Court justice for the rest of my life, with all the pomp and prestige?

      I wonder if the guy I wanted to stop seeing but who came to my apartment and insisted that we have sex or he was going to make trouble --he had already woken up the people on the floor where I lived--even remembers the incident. Since he was not white, and I am, it felt like a racist rape. No white bitch was going to break up with him!! No siree. It was going to be only on his terms. When I have talked about this before I have never mentioned that he was black because it then sounds racist, but I have always believed that was a big part of what happened that night. This maybe is off topic because I did not get pregnant that night, but it feels like a safe place to tell my truth. And yes it is probably why I feel that Kavanaugh ought to be booted! He doesn't remember? He was dead drunk I bet. But people at Ford's school knew about it.

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  8. I don't know if it's my age or what but this year has been so full of triggers for me and this is not the least of them.
    It is so disheartening and yes, maddening that women are still being treated this way. And these people have the audacity to question why we don't report these things? And let us not forget. There are still over 1400 children going to sleep without their parents tonight. At yi yi.

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  9. All of this has made me think of my own 50's Catholic school (I graduated from high school in 1960) milieu which was by contrast pretty mild--but I have to add that while I had girl friends in the popular crowd that had boy friends (and they did) I did not. But judging by the few parties I did go to, nothing like what Kiasa describes went on. It sounds like a much harder culture to survive in.

    But in the Seventies I was forced to have sex with someone I was trying to step seeing, and feeling his absolute power over me, the Kavanaugh accusation has reminded me of that. And I know that it has stirred a lot of feelings from all ages of women, both Democrat and Republican. Sexual assault knows no political boundaries.

    Sadly I expect that unless Kavanaugh pulls out--the Washington Post is reporting that he is having trouble with the prep for the hearings as it delves into his personal life--he will be confirmed.

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  10. Lo,
    I keep remembering them...the ones I knew and the things that happened to me. My best friend was date-raped at 18 by a "nice guy" she was dating. In his car. I knew him, of course. And my family had even done business with his family!! He had been to my house.
    He was the "perfect gentleman."
    Another friend from high school was raped by a guy when she was 15. He lived next door to my best friend in a very well-off neighborhood. The rapist was 17 years old. Yes, they start early!! He became a serial rapist. Thirty some years later I was reading the morning paper in my parents' home and saw the headline that a "serial rapist" was caught...it was the same guy that had raped the 15 year old girl from our high school! He was "thought to be connected with a string of rapes going way back" ....welll, yeah....
    And, get this....he only got caught because he had gotten too old to get out of a girl's residence quickly..he had developed some arthritis from climbing in and out of windows, etc and got caught in the window and couldn't escape quickly enough....the poor dear....hahahahah...the police came....

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  11. In the last couple of days, I have been in touch with two friends who were more brutally raped than I was. Nobody reported.

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  12. Reading your accounts of what you all experienced or witnessed in high school breaks my heart. I read Sunday nite and I've been very sad ever since. I can't imagine. I don't think I could have beared (bore?) it.. a lot of who i am now, love me or hate me, is based on a foundation of trust that i built with other people my age startnig at puberty and on through high school and college. If I didn't have that, I dunno how I could have made it this far. I'm really saddened by what you all report, and admire your true strength.

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