Does my birth mother think of me?

Jane

Adoptees often ask us whether their natural mothers think of them, "at least on my birthday." Lorraine and I assure them that their mothers think of therm often, likely everyday. "Then why doesn't she try to find me?" they ask. "She may be thinking about searching " we tell them, but there are reason why she is hesitating. She doesn't know she can; she promised the agency she wouldn't; she had it drummed into her that she's shouldn't. She doesn't know how to search. She can't afford a searcher. She doesn't want to disrupt your life. She doesn't want to disrupt the lives of her raised children, her husband, her parents.

These thoughts coursed through my mind for years. I'll search later I told myself, when my youngest daughter graduates from high school, when I have more money, more time. Then 19 years ago my lost daughter Rebecca found me. I'll write more about this on her birthday, November 17.

Another year of progress in adoption reform

Jane

On New Year's Eve 2013 I wrote that we had reached the tipping point in opening birth certificates to adoptees with Washington, Rhode Island, and Ohio joining ten states granting access and Pennsylvania expected to follow.  This year Connecticut, Colorado, and New Jersey joined the parade making 16 states granting access although some have restrictions like first mother vetoes. Here's the list: Alabama, Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Ohio, Oregon, Rhode Island, Tennessee, and Washington. For more information on these laws, see FMF's Resources page.

Sadly, a New York bill died in committee and we haven't heard of any action in the other three big population states--California, Texas, and