National Adoption Month 2010
And for some exciting blog news: I added a link to a "Home" page so that people who find BirthMother, First Mother Forum because they are Googling, say, Ethiopian adoptions, or what first/birth mothers wear to weddings of their children (it happens), and come across those posts, but are not sure how to find the current post can do just that. They only need to hit "Home" at the top of the sidebar! Also listed there today as a separate page is an explanation of the New Jersey law, though the fancy formatting of NJCare leaves something to be desired as it does not compress for this blog. However, I think you can read enough to understand what the law does, and does not. You can also email them if you have questions.
Continuing this ramble: Sunday night I came across Lifetime's Drop Dead Diva, a normally cheerful and sometimes poignant show about a gorgeous thin and vapid aspiring model who died and came back in the body of a plump, thoughtful and savvy lawyer....and it's about 9:13 p.m. Sunday night (digital clocks make time retrieval amazingly precise) and what is the first thing I hear? Two lawyers with their clients arguing over whether the teenage first/birth mother (Client A) will return the child to fortyish single woman (Client B), who was promised the child. Surrender papers already signed.
F@#K I say, can we never escape adoption? How about an adoption-free Sunday?
Apparently not. The birth mother presented a pleasant demeanor and personality--clean hair, no drugs, good skin. The story line is that her boyfriend (father of the child) has returned, and they are going to be a family; the mother is contending she was pressured to sign the surrender papers under the influence of post-partum depression. (I did not see the first part of the show so do not know if how soon after birth she was signing away her baby.) But the adopter-in-waiting is already claiming, this is MY baby, as if the kid were a piece of furniture. No sympathy for the birth mother, nada, who does have the baby in her possession. (I missed the part where she took back her baby.) The nice new adopting mom does fess up she she did not try to have a child when her ovaries were in good working order. (At least the writers got that part right.)
But wait! Why is the new "family" driving a shiny new red truck as they leave the courthouse? Where did they get the money? They are supposed to be poor. Needy. Turns out the adopting mom-in-waiting paid the girl $20,000...hmm, sounds like a bribe for a baby, no?
Eventually it comes to light that the birth father collected several $20,000s from people wanting to adopt his white, squeaky-clean infant. Once the teenage real mother finds that out, she caves immediately and hands over the child. Case closed. Tidy ending.
Angelle, a reader, just reminded me that the week before--the week before!--the plot centered on a father who had amnesia for several years, regained his memory, and came back to reclaim what he could of his old life--including a relationship with a child who was born after he disappeared. However, his wife had him declared dead, married his former best friend, and the new "dad" was the only father the child knew...and so even though the real dad is suing for at least visitation, he ultimately is convinced to walk away and stay dead to his child. I mean, WTF is up with that? And the idiot writers on this show? Are they all adoptive parents or wannabe adoptive parents--like I suspect--and they are getting their "opinions" on adoption out there through the plot lines?
I admit I don't know what to do in cases like this. Writing to ever single show and legislator one is supposed to takes more time than I have. Of late, we've seen a couple of shows where the writers did get it right. We wrote In Plain Sight**** Gets Adoption Reunion Right just last week. I eagerly await Mother and Child to get out to the sticks where I live. See Jane's review: The Movie: Mother and Child packs a wallop.
But if what I've just written about Drop Dead Diva makes your blood boil, you can watch the whole episode or just leave a comment here: http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/drop-dead-diva
As I am going to right now.--lorraine
Granddaughter Lisa is writing her side of our reunion-so-far story. Look for it soon.