|Birth mother Catelynn Lowell Baltierra|
On the latest episode, Teresa tells Catelynn in a telephone call that she does not want their
communications to be filmed and nor does she want Catelynn talking about their conversations on the
show. Teresa's demand is not unreasonable. At seven, Carly cannot be oblivious to the fact that she is a media celebrity. She may resent or at least be uncomfortable with having portions of her life entertain a national audience. Teresa and Brandon may find it stressful to try to live a normal life when their conversations are reaching millions over the airwaves.
In the end, Tyler just shakes his head. This is no cliff hanger--the audience knows that Tyler and Catelynn will accept the Davis' demands. Their open adoption, like most open adoptions, depends on the good graces of the adoptive parents. The Davis' restrictions, though, are only a small part of a larger tragedy. Regardless of what the Davis' do, the Baltierra's must live with the immutable fact--THEY GAVE AWAY THEIR BABY AND SHE WILL NEVER BE AS IF RAISED BY THEM.
During this season, viewers have learned that Catelynn is suffered from severe depression, she has a hard time getting out of bed, and smokes marijuana multiple times a day to help calm herself. She recently completed a stint in a rehab treatment facility to deal with her depression. She's scared she'll make mistakes parenting their second daughter, Nova.
Through their media presence and visits to college campuses they have promoted adoption on behalf of Bethany Christian Services which handled Carly's adoption. Yet their emotional outbursts--and the painful visit at a hotel which was taped--and reactions to what adoption actually means to them, the young couple may actually be warning young parents away from the adoption option.
When they were on a couples-in-relationship-trouble reality show a few seasons ago, one of the other guests outright asked her (as we recall) why they gave their baby away. Catelynn was obviously distressed about being confronted with someone who did not approve of their decision. It was obvious she was not proud of her decision and that they both missed their child. And we know from previous shows that they did not fully understand that their relationship with Carly and her adoptive parents was not fully open. In a long-ago episode of Teen Moms OG after the adoption their counselor Dawn said something to the effect that if they wanted a fully open adoption they should have asked for one. By her reaction, it was clear that Catelynn didn't even know such an option was available.
No one watching the show today could believe that the Baltierra's could make a convincing case for adoption. In fact, quite the opposite appears to be true. In they end, they may help deter young people from making the decision to give up their child. Adoption affects mothers and fathers who are involved lifelong. The feelings of grief are likely to emerge over their lifetimes, especially at milestone moments, such as birthdays, family reunions, graduations. For many natural mothers, and some fathers, adoption is a lifelong sorrow.--jane
Teen Mom' Catelynn Lowell talks latest obstacle with Brandon and Teresa
Catelyn & Tyler's open adoption will stay open; for other first mothers, not so much
Catelynn and Tyler--still grieving over the loss of their daughter
Issues raised by Tyler and Catelynn
What are the happy birthmoms celebrating?
Tyler of 16 and Pregnant tells FMF off!
How does a baby feel about being a 'gift'?
Catelynn and Tyler's open adoption closing?
Second daughter brings joy to Catelynn, Tyler
Tyler Baltierra's adoption regrets
Catelynn and Tyler face reality
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
And oldie but good book about the lifelong impact of adoption--on the child/teen/young adult adoptee. As a first mother who had long been in reunion, I found it invaluable in helping to understand my daughter. Succinct and readable.--lorraine
A hearty thank you to those readers who order--anything--from Amazon through the blog. Just click on the book links here or the sidebars.